New to this and need help

[Marriedwkids]

Hi all I’m 35 years old and have a great life. Except my dick is ruining it. I developed ed while trying to conceive our first child and haven’t been able to fix it for 3 years. Have a gorgeous wife of 7 years and two beautiful kids. Oldest is 2 and youngest is 1. Viagra and Cialis have helped, but do don’t work regularly. Most of my life is spent wondering if I’ll be able to perform the next time we try to have sex. It’s taking a huge toll on me emotionally as sex is longer “enjoyable” or something to look forward to. I’m going to the urologist this week to discuss further options. I have been to 4 psychologists and have been diagnosed with anxiety and ocd. I can’t keep listening to them say “just don’t think about it.” Or “it’s all in your head.” I need something to fix me for good. I told my wife and said I’m to the point of getting an implant to make my head normal again!! She felt that was crazy. I’m nervous to try injections, but at this point I would do just about anything to have a rested mind and not have to think about it. This is my first post and would GREATLY appreciate some words of advice or words of encouragement from someone else who has dealt with this. It’s not exactly something to just talk about with your friends....thanks in advance

[Larry10625]

Hi all I’m 35 years old and have a great life. Except my dick is ruining it. I developed ed while trying to conceive our first child and haven’t been able to fix it for 3 years. Have a gorgeous wife of 7 years and two beautiful kids. Oldest is 2 and youngest is 1. Viagra and Cialis have helped, but do don’t work regularly. Most of my life is spent wondering if I’ll be able to perform the next time we try to have sex. It’s taking a huge toll on me emotionally as sex is longer “enjoyable” or something to look forward to. I’m going to the urologist this week to discuss further options. I have been to 4 psychologists and have been diagnosed with anxiety and ocd. I can’t keep listening to them say “just don’t think about it.” Or “it’s all in your head.” I need something to fix me for good. I told my wife and said I’m to the point of getting an implant to make my head normal again!! She felt that was crazy. I’m nervous to try injections, but at this point I would do just about anything to have a rested mind and not have to think about it. This is my first post and would GREATLY appreciate some words of advice or words of encouragement from someone else who has dealt with this. It’s not exactly something to just talk about with your friends....thanks in advance

I fully understand what you are going through. I have had problems for 47 years and finally heard about implants last year. I tried the injections. I felt they hurt all though others on here say they don't. Either way, they didn't work for me. My big problem (other than no nookie) is, my wife thinks it's all her fault. I did get implanted in March but lost it a month later due to septic shock. I go for my re-implant on Dec 14th. Thank god it's covered by our provincial health insurance, and yet the injections were not and they were about $130 CDN for roughly 3 doses... it's not cheap.

Larry

[keysdude]

Hi married w/kids
I had an ED problem that came on fairly quick. I'm 70 in fairly good shape. Been injecting for about 9 months and very happy with the results. Using trimix. All my life I've been scared shitless of needles so when my uro said lets try penis injections I really didn't think I could do it. He gave me instructions on how to inject. He gave me my first shot and wow one hell of an erection. Went back to office the next week and he let me do the injection. I was shaking but I did it. No erection, he said I missed the spot, probably because of my nervousness and said see me next week. Thats when I found Frank Talk. Tons of info here on injecting the right way, videos and lots of support from guys that "been there, done that". Anyway I got over the fear of self injecting and am very happy with the trimix out come. I can honestly say there is no pain at all, for me anyway. My wife is happy also, very happy. Talk to your Dr and try it.
Good luck.

[Marriedwkids]

Thanks for the posts. I guess I’m just hoping for some light at the end of the tunnel. My wife thinks I’m insane for even worrying about this as we do have sex 2-3 times per week, but quite often my erection will go away in the middle of sex! It’s humiliating! I’m also curious if there is something physically going on. My urologist seemed to just write it off as psychological right away. It might be....who knows. I’m just hoping that I can go back to enjoying and anticipating /hoping for sex with my bride again! Ugh I NEVER thought his would be a problem for me!

[Lonehill]

When you cant perform its stressful, no two ways about it. For me its only taken a couple of failures to freak me out and effect my next effort. Saying that its in your head doesn't solve the problem. I've found that the only cure is restored confidence, meaning a good success. I used Viagra successfully for years but suddenly it stopped working and I became stressed to the point where I became a nervous wreck before sex and couldn't perform.
Using a trimix injection solved the problem although it took a lot of trial and error to get the right formula and dosage but once achieved it gave me a great erection.
It's important to understand that with Viagra you.need to get an erection before it works to maintain it whereas with trimix it will give you an erection after injection. That in turn restored my confidence and took away the stress before sex.

[bldoink]

Hi marriedwkids and welcome to the forum,

I wouldn't presume to know the cause of your problem or have a solution. I'll just add that while I don't find the injection process entirely painless, the pain certainly doesn't amount to much. It's the idea of sticking a needle in your dick and not the pain that the difficult part. You get over the idea part quickly when you have good results.

[Marriedwkids]

It’s so encouraging to hear from other men that are dealing with this! My main concern with the injections is if they are ok for long term. I’m 35 and (hopefully) will have many more years of sex left in me. From what I’ve read, they work well but can cause damage? I don’t mind the whole “scheduling” aspect of it as we pretty much do that now anyway! With the two little guys running around and trying for a third, we usually try every third day. I can’t help but feel that the pros of knowing it will work when the time comes up, I’ll be able to live my life and enjoy it again. This is seriously such a weight off to talk to others and not just my wife!

[oldbeek]

30% of men are allergic to one component in tri= mix (pge-1) It causes pain in your penis. I was one of them and now use bi-mix. My lab says I can use it safely every 4 days. Use the injections and they may boost your confidence to where you do not need them. Or move on to an implant. My dad had one and loved it.

[Larry10625]

Thanks for the posts. I guess I’m just hoping for some light at the end of the tunnel. My wife thinks I’m insane for even worrying about this as we do have sex 2-3 times per week, but quite often my erection will go away in the middle of sex! It’s humiliating! I’m also curious if there is something physically going on. My urologist seemed to just write it off as psychological right away. It might be....who knows. I’m just hoping that I can go back to enjoying and anticipating /hoping for sex with my bride again! Ugh I NEVER thought his would be a problem for me!

What the hell is with all these doctors all of a sudden... they don't want to do ultra sounds to ensure they are not dealing with a venous leak... All of a sudden everyone's problem is in their head.... No doc, they want it to be in their head... blood that is...

Larry

[Hunchback]

Hello Marriedwkids,

I can totally relate to your problems, even tho i've had ED all my life and it's 100% physiological. I am 33yo and also married with 2 kids, been with my wife for 10 years now.
Even tho i've had ED since day 1 with my wife, and i've always had her complete support, i HAVE suffered from these "exasperation" and anxiety phases where i would stress before having sex up to a point of preferring NOT to do it rather than "have another failure". And sadly all this stress doesn't help at all with getting it up, it can render even a healthy person completely ineffective...

I am glad to say that today i am over these troubles, even tho i still have ED and probably always will. There's a few things that are extremely important, in my opinion, to get better internally:

1. Be completely open - Talk about it as much as you need with your partner, don't be ashamed and don't hold back.
2. Have a lot of support and understanding from your partner - Knowing that "it's not that a big deal" for your partner and there's no "blame" and doubts in the couple is super helpful.
3. Accept the failures - Life is long and even if "that particular time" you "fail", tell yourself that it doesn't matter (because it doesn't) and you'll soon have another go. Failures happen to healthy and ill men, more so with ED no matter what it's origins are, so just fuck it (pun intended) and go on.


I don't say these things in a light-hearted manner, i know neither of these is easy. They take a toll on everyone involved and sometimes are out of our control (if your partner doesn't understand you, there's not much you can do). I've suffered a lot with these things, and combined with my unimpressive penis size i had a lot of complexes. Years of love and understanding with my wife helped me overcome this and feel ok in my body, even if it's broken.


As for the physical part of things - consult doctors, try options. Try injections, as someone before me said they will probably work and if your problem is really psychological they might help you further regain your confidence and be "normal" again.