I need wisdom and asvice

[Sirsarcastic]

My operation is in exactly 2 weeks. I just got the news that my mom's cancer is too far gone and we don't know how much longer she'll be with us. Do you guys think I should go ahead with it or should I postpone it? My concerns were the stress affecting the operation, but also I've already put my life so much on hold for his operation and I don't know how I'll feel later. (It's been a tough year) What do you guys suggest?

Try and focus on the operation with the responses, I'm fine with the news I rather not focus on it

[Greg1956]

Sirsarcastic,
First, I am so sorry regarding your mom. That is never easy news to hear.

As for your pending surgery, my main thought is wondering how open you are with your family and friends that you are going to have this surgery. If it happens that a lot of people you know are gathering together for your mom, are you OK having them see you if you have just had surgery? If you are doing it more secretly, it will be obvious something is wrong if you have to be up and about too soon after the operation. You can always make up some story about a groin injury, but your recovery will depend on a few days laying down and icing following surgery. It will not be beneficial if you are unable to do that.

[nbriley]

I’m sorry to hear about your mother
This year my wife lost her youngest sister to cancer and then this past August her other sister was diagnosed with colon cancer and it’s spreading
I had my surgery date already set and wife and I both agreed to continue with surgery
When I had my surgery in Atlanta she visited with her sister and they talk every day now but we made the decision to go with surgery
Everyone’s situation is different but my wife and I made decision together and for me personally I feel I made the right choice
I’ve watched my wife go thru many emotions with dealing with cancer and it’s a terrible disease to witness and go thru not only for the individual but also close family members
I wish you well in whatever you decide

[Sirsarcastic]

Thank you for sharing your stories. I'm strongly leaning towards going. Thank you for the good wishes, your support means that much more.

[Larry10625]

My operation is in exactly 2 weeks. I just got the news that my mom's cancer is too far gone and we don't know how much longer she'll be with us. Do you guys think I should go ahead with it or should I postpone it? My concerns were the stress affecting the operation, but also I've already put my life so much on hold for his operation and I don't know how I'll feel later. (It's been a tough year) What do you guys suggest?

Try and focus on the operation with the responses, I'm fine with the news I rather not focus on it

First of all, I was looking forward to meeting you but also, as you have experienced, things do not happen quickly in the medical world. If you postpone, god only knows when you could get re-scheduled for. I am quite certain your mom would want you to live your life and as every member on here has experienced, ED does a lot more than cause limp dick. I have seen terminal patients, who were told they have only a couple of months to live last as much as a year. Nothing is guaranteed but death taxes (not when, just death). Keep me posted on what you decide. I don't wanna go looking for you if you're not there. If you decide to go through with it, you'll have to PM me with your real name... I'm pretty sure you won't be registered as sirsarcastic. Sorry to learn the terrible news about your mom. Let's just hope that if the good lord is going to take her home, that he do it quick and as painless as possible.

Larry

[geophd]

My mom is old, 74, and I know that what she wants to know before she dies is that I'm happy. If the penile implant will bring you closer to that then you almost owe it her. I'm sorry to hear that about your mom. I wish your family the best during these difficult times.

[nbriley]

I could have postponed my surgery and was told I could be rescheduled after the first of the year and weighing everything I stayed on schedule and now am 3 weeks post opt and healing well
It’s either go with surgery or get it done later

[medhatg]

Sorry to hear that. That is not an easy thing to go through. Cancer is such a monster.

The time left with your mother is a very precious time that would never come back, ever. I learnt that when my dad passed away and I regretted every second that I could have spent with him and I did not. It took me almost a year to get over my dad's death and I'm a grown man with a wife and children. I felt my heart aching everyday and regrets almost throw me into turmoil. To make a long story short, I understand how hard it is to get an appointment with Dr. Brock, but you're the only person who could make this decision. My personal opinion -based on my experience- is to spend as much time with your mother, you're still young, you could have the surgery at a later date. God bless you and bless your mother and help you in this ordeal.

Matt

[TANGERINE]

I suspect that if you were to ask your mom what you should do, she will likely say:

"Son, I want you to be happy. If your implant operation means that your life will be better, then please, please get the operation." Moreover, do realize that she might also say "Son, if I ,as your mom, did anything to mess up your operation and life, I would never forgive myself"

Of course, it is quite presumptuous for me to say what your mom thinks, but in my opinion, the majority of mothers would unhesitatingly take a bullet for their child if given the choice.

Here is my other concern, postponing the surgery might mean you could lose a window of opportunity to have the surgery. Sure, it is probably easy to just re-schedule, but there is an emotional overlay with stopping a train that is running towards a destination. Facing surgery is a huge deal, emotionally, for you; if you still feel the courage to go through with penile surgery (even with this news regarding your mother) then I think you should move forward with surgery.

TANGERINE

PS: hard for me to answer and give good advice without really knowing you and your mother personally, so the above are "vague generic words of advice given with grossly incomplete information from some dude on the internet" -- so, please taper my words realizing that limitation

[Larry10625]

I suspect that if you were to ask your mom what you should do, she will likely say:

"Son, I want you to be happy. If your implant operation means that your life will be better, then please, please get the operation." Moreover, do realize that she might also say "Son, if I ,as your mom, did anything to mess up your operation and life, I would never forgive myself"

Of course, it is quite presumptuous for me to say what your mom thinks, but in my opinion, the majority of mothers would unhesitatingly take a bullet for their child if given the choice.

Here is my other concern, postponing the surgery might mean you could lose a window of opportunity to have the surgery. Sure, it is probably easy to just re-schedule, but there is an emotional overlay with stopping a train that is running towards a destination. Facing surgery is a huge deal, emotionally, for you; if you still feel the courage to go through with penile surgery (even with this news regarding your mother) then I think you should move forward with surgery.

TNAGERINE

PS: hard for me to answer and give good advice without really knowing you and your mother personally, so the above are "vague generic words of advice given with grossly incomplete information from some dude on the internet" -- so, please taper my words realizing that limitation

Tangerine;
Very well said. His doctor is my doctor and is recognized by his colleagues nation wide as one of the best... Having said that, it stands to reason that he is very busy. Your words of wisdom were spot on but to add to what you said, my concern for Sirsarcastic is that it could be months before he could be rescheduled. Also, if you move ahead with the surgery, I would keep it quiet to only on a "need to know basis". People who don't know all of your story won't understand and could harbour resentment towards you forever. It's nobody's business but you and your partner.

Larry