Help me through this - she says she can't feel anything..

[Spikepork]

As many have said keep the faith. It’s your new normal and hopefully your wife will slowly “get on board” excuse the pun. I think it would be helpful for others to name the surgeon. You are NOT saying anything negative about him/her but it may help others formulate questions if they are using the same one.

[Lost Sheep]

If this is your "new normal" or even if this is only temporary, you now have an erection that will stay up long enough for experimentation. You have time to try positions that may be better for her to feel you.

The first one that comes to mind is one recommended for men with less girth. You straddle her and her legs are together. Her vagina is thus tighter and she feels more friction with you. Alse, since you penetrate less deeply, the head of your penis and especially the corona gives more stimulation to the first few centimeters at the entrance of her vagina. You can look in sex manuals or on the internet for other positions that provide more feelings of fullness or of depth (or whatever she is missing) for the woman.

Do communicate your love for her and your regard for her sensibilities and for heaven's sake, DO NOT discount her feelings.

Enlist her as your partner exploring a new landscape of feelings. Emotional AS WELL AS physical.

[MrVenousLeak]

Thanks guys for all your support. I appreciate it.

[strongagain]

In what country are you?

[Skier123]

Dude, maybe this is obvious to you, I don't know ... like several of the other brothers have already said, how you use it can make a world of difference. I am a naturally small guy, but after doing some reading and experimenting I figured out that the position SHE is in makes a big difference. Basically any position where her legs are bent up toward her abdomen (including man behind) improves her sensation. Also there are techniques where you can actually rub her clitoris while having intercourse. I am not an expert ... but my experience has been that experiementing with position and technique can help a whole lot.

[merrix]

Hi

I read your story, and I understand you have a tough time right now.
In some ways, your story is similar to mine.
I could, just like you, get a good erection before my implant. I could have sex with a hard dick. But unfortunately not for very long, and definitely not without constant stimulation/friction.

As for the experience of sex right after surgery, I can in some way relate to what you're saying.
Even though my size was larger than yours, I still was smaller post op than pre op.
Not by much, but some.
Pre op I was about 16.5 cm long and 14 cm girth.
Post op I was 15.5 and 13.8.
My wife never noticed the difference in length, but she did also think I was thinner. To me it just proves men's obsession with length is totally misplaced. My wife did not even notice a 1 cm length difference (6.5% change), but easily spotted a 2mm difference in girth (1.5% change). She also noticed the different shape, more flat.

Personally I also remember feeling a bit disappointed when I had sex the first months. I read all the stories here, on how some guys described their implant erection as harder than anything natural, a broom stick, etc. And that people couldn't inflate it to the maximum because it just got too hard.
My experience in the beginning wasn't at all like that. It was not harder than my pre op Viagra erection. At least not when inflating at the level which was comfortable. And if I inflated further, my own blood flow decreased and it got very thin and oval. So I wasn't over the moon. I really don't think my wife was either. Plus both of us struggled to mentally get to grips with the new me. To finally being able to let loose and just enjoy sex.

But, and here comes the important stuff, I am now 2 years after surgery, and things are very, very different.
My dick is not only back to my pre op Viagra erection size, it has surpassed it. I am >1 cm longer than pre op, and about 0.4 cm thicker. Compared to my immediate post op data, I am 2.2 cm longer and 0.8 cm thicker. Again, my wife does not notice I am longer. But she does notice I am thicker. And mostly, she notices I am harder...
What I get now if I pump fully is truly something that resembles a broom stick. Crazy hard. But the thing is, it is not uncomfortable anymore. I can have sex with it fully inflated if I want to. And my wife's preference has also changed. She likes it rock hard now, close to max. I nowadays use 40-45 pumps out of a maximum of 50, while I back in the early days did around 15 for sex. Any more than that, it was uncomfortable for both of us. Also, at that time I could only do a maximum of around 25, while as now I can do the double.

The mental part has been an even bigger journey. We both struggled as I said to fully enjoy the benefits. This was a gradual change over probably more than a year. Now we both absolutely love it.

What I want to say is just that whatever you experience now, and whatever your wife is experiencing now, is not the end result. I can 99% guarantee that things will get better. It will objectively be better because things actually do get better, and it will subjectively get better because you both will get used to whatever the shortcomings are. That's just life. This is a huge change in a man's life. It was in mine. And it is a huge change for the woman as well. Sex is different. At least how the erection happens, its durability, size and shape, etc.

In your case, unfortunately it seems you didn't get the perfect result we all hope for. Your dick shouldn't point to the right if it didn't before surgery. Using 'tubing' as an excuse is pretty lame since he should route the tubing in a way that it does not interfere with the dick and how straight it is. Losing length shouldn't really happen either if he did his job perfectly. On the other hand, maybe your length and girth will come back with time, it is definitely too early to say. As a principle, your cylinders should be at lest half way into your glans. If they don't reach to that level, I would say he undersized you. Unless there of course was a medical reason for it, such as scar tissue making it impossible to get the cylinders further up.
The kink you describe also sounds problematic. Maybe this prevents the cylinders (or one of them) to fill up completely, giving you a thinner, softer and shorter dick than you should have.
I would go to the bottom with all this. If you need a revision, then push for one. You are hopefully going to have this implant for another 10-15 years, and these 10-15 years are supposed to be the best in terms of sex for the remaining part of your life. Don't waste them on a faulty implant. Talk to your doc. And of course, have some patience to start with. Things will change, that is for sure.

It does sound a bit strange if you get 6 pumps in only. Again, it would be interesting to know which size your implant is. If you do have an implant on the smaller end of the scale, then it might be reasonable. But if not, then I'd say maybe the kink is an issue.

Anyway, I am pretty sure that no matter what happens, you will be a lot better off a year from now. Most likely things sort themselves out, or maybe you will need a revision and then you and your dick will be as new again. Literally speaking.

Good luck.

[Bandit]

Leak
You gotta hang in there. Regular cycling will stretch you. Pump to the max at least daily or even twice a day. Hold it til your in pain then hold it some more. It takes time. I was disappointed first few times out. You will gain plus you will get used to working with your new dick. Technique becomes important. Positions as others said. Get your dick hard and let it grind on the clit. In and out may not work at first. Remember you are trying to stimulate her. So try more of a rocking motion. If you are on top, position yourself higher up and rock. She can also mount you and rock. If your sitting you can stimulate her nipples cause they ll be in your face. Technique. Figure out what works for you both. She can help with this too. It will get better.
Bandit

[MrVenousLeak]

Thanks once again guys for all your responses. Its something I am so grateful for. As I read each of your posts I find myself a lot less alone and more positive to keep going and try new things.

[ocitgo]

Can you see another urologist and get another opinion/report?

[MrVenousLeak]

Yes I've decided im goign to see another Urologist in another state. The only problem is he doesn't have a free appointment time till another 10 weeks. Nonetheless, a few people seem to have been happy with him so I'll wait for an appointment and see what he says