Where should I get support?

[clear0cn]

I've been running in circles for the last few months and was wondering you guys have any ideas where to find mental support other then the forums. I think I need to talk with someone or something. It's hard to keep everything inside so sometimes I try to talk about with close friends or family but they can't understand what I'm going through.. It's been a constant fight with various doctors over the last year and a half just to have them running tests, or to get PDE5. I think it's because of my young age (27) they just don't want to believe my ED is nothing else then psychological. I had finally found a good urologist and was supposed to get the Doppler but he just cancelled my appointment for the 3rd time in over 4 months. I was crushed .

I don't know if I should go see a psychologist. I've seen a sexologist last year when I thought my ED was mental but it didn't make me feel better, and it's not cheap. she just tried to find BS reasons for my ED, it never made much sense IMO. That's why I have doubts going back to seeing a psy. . But it's getting really tough keeping my head up and being strong. Do you think I should find find a new one?

I was also wondering lately if I'll ever be able to regain the self-esteem and confidence with women I had before all this. What are your experiences? Do you feel you have regain your confidence after getting the right treatment (implant etc.)?

PS: My health care system is probably one the the shittiest in the world. We are the highest tax payers in North-America and should in theory have free health care but it's so bad and bureaucratique that most have to resolve to find a private practitioner and pay out of pocket. So you end up paying twice for the same service. (feels good releasing some steam!)

[radioradio]

I’d suggest you find a new uro who is willing to fully test you. Do you still ever wake up with morning wood?
Bob

[Lost Sheep]

I was also wondering lately if I'll ever be able to regain the self-esteem and confidence with women I had before all this. What are your experiences? Do you feel you have regain your confidence after getting the right treatment (implant etc.)?

I had the same feeling. After I KNEW intellectually that I had a 100% reliable erection, my self-confidence that I would be able to perform with a woman (which it was not so long ago that I WAS), was still gone. The collapse of many, many aborted attempts at coitus had shaken the foundations of my confidence. It took empirical proof to get that restored.

After a couple of successful sexual encounters, my self-confidence is restored. Note: there were no failures to achieve penetration. The self-doubt was COMPLETELY unfounded.

This confidence (you can tell from my signature) was due to having a penile implant, but two encounters using a V.E.D proved the same and pills, suppositories or injections, the principle applies equally well. You just need to have faith that your penis (aided by whatever means you use) will get erect and you have a partner invested in the outcome (or in-cum might be a better way to put it).

Edited to add: My implant GUARANTEED I would have an erection in which I could have confidence. But the FEELING of confidence did not return until I actually used it a few times with no failures. The help of a good woman wanting to help with that process was vitally important to that restoration - almost as much the implant was.

[Motorheadrulz]

Clear0cn,
I feel yer pain buddy. Most of us were in the same boat for different reasons.

I just recently found a psychotherapist who understands the whole post-surgery/ED/feeling like shit dilemma. I found him from a referral from one of my dr. buddies. I've been searching for months, and even rejected a few when I had to educate them on my medical conditions- not worth my time.

So if you don't have any dr. buddies, start by searching thru your insurance for in-network counselors/therapists who specialize in both sexual health and marital counseling. Look for a PhD, not just a general purpose counselor. It's going to take a few interviews, and the right therapist is far more important than the cost. If they start out by prescribing antidepressants/anxiety meds, then find another. Your primary care dr. or URO should be the only expert dosing you with meds.

In most major cities, there are support groups; although they may have moved to online due to Covid for now. Keep searching.

Keep reading here and follow the research- things will get better. Get to the root cause, not the band-aid.

Life loves to kick you in the nuts (job loss, divorce, health, etc.) and you just have to keep grinding. Don't get discouraged... you have a LONG life ahead of you.