3rd-Nut wrote:DaveKell wrote:3rd-Nut wrote:Dave,
I am curious as to what your wife is telling the seminar attendees???? Since Franktalk does not allow women on this forum, maybe you can quote some the things she tells them.
She tends to explain the relationship issues that came about from me being withdrawn from life during the years ED ravaged my mind and personality. She tells them we are making fast progress with this and that she likes knowing I am once again motivated and happy. Her only even remote reference to sex is her joke where she pulls a new pair of running shoes out of a bag. I think the urologists who insist on a patient advocate who can bring his wife along might be doing a disservice to men attending the seminars. They don't ask as many followup questions with my wife there. I have to remark on all the things I know they're concerned with like how does an implant feel in your body, is ejaculation the same, and all the other topics frequently seen on FT. We did a good job in OKC though since I've been told the uro wants us back for his next one instead of the local guy he usually has come.
Dave,
You must be doing a great job to get asked back. Do most of the wives /SO's come to these presentations? I am taking it that there are not too many...It would be interesting to have separate Q&A with men only/women only. I'm taking about your wife talking with only women in the room and vice versa. Then see how the questions come out. I don't see that my wife would ask any questions with men in the room. She is quite private.
Actually there are always very very few women at the seminars with any of the men. I'm always aware of any of them who are there and when I talk about the issues ED brings in a relationship I try to make eye contact with them. The downfall aspects of the relationship are what women endure the hardest living with a man suffering with ED. I feel it's important to communicate to these women that the issues can be massively improved once her man is functioning sexually again and his self esteem returns. I think that might help get the woman on board with the implant and even result in her encouraging it. There are two types of these seminars. The first is the approximately one hour long event with me being the last speaker for about a max of 15 minutes. The other is a more in depth up to two day event of which I haven't attended one yet. I believe at those events there are more focused information sessions on all the various treatment options and a much longer Q&A session following. I too have thought of suggesting to my implant manufacturer rep a separate Q&A session for the women with my wife.
It's no secret this is a topic few people feel comfortable openly discussing in public. I go pretty far with my descriptions of the implant benefits, my wife at times thinks too far. My rep said I'm the most open patient advocate he's heard talk and he's very much promoting me within the company for that reason. I'm rehearsing a new presentation that will hopefully put listeners more at ease and get them to participate more with the questions part of the seminar. we'll see how that goes at my next seminar in Dallas at the end of this month. My goal is not to talk about myself as a newly happily sexually functioning man but to let the attendees know there is hope for them to become that instead.
