mental state

[tomas1]

Bubba, I'm older for sure and got through my mid-life pretty much unscathed and with my fidelity intact.

I almost see your post as a call for help and you actually may already know the answer.

Please don't make a rash decision that will destroy your relationship with your wife.
Try to talk it over, but I know I didn't so maybe not?

[Lost Sheep]

My opinion...
Thus is a support group for ED, men getting ready to have implant, men that's had implant.
Is this a site to give psychological opinion? No only a professional can do that!

I feel compelled to point out that it is not just for men interested in an implant. Any form or solution for E.D. is up for discussion. Whether surgical or psychological or even how to accept it. We should not limit our range of options to consider when thinking about how to help one another.

But your point is well-taken. Psychological or Medical advice is a dangerous thing for a lay person (or even a professional) to dispense without thorough knowledge of the subject's personal situation. This applies to legal advice, engineering advice and any other profession as well. Professionals go to school for a reason and examine circumstances carefully for a reason. Having said that, common sense. a kind ear and personal experience can be a valuable and worthwhile help to a person struggling with a sticky question.

There is an adage I will share:

Believe only half of what you see.
One quarter of what you hear.
That goes double for anything you get from the internet.

[Lost Sheep]

Since my implant I have undergone some new psychological thoughts and feelings. These feeling include throwing away current lifestyle, marriage, etc. I have considered going to a nudist resort. my wife is not a nudist at all. I have contemplated a divorce. These feelings are not sexual in nature, but just more interested in a change in my life will some excitement etc. I am in the midst of a mid-life crisis which have going on for over 2 years. Since the implant it has gotten worse. Is there any suggestions from men who are older and are these feelings normal?

Might be normal, and something you can get over, ignore or live through. Whether your marriage can survive it is largely up to you (and to your wife).

The male mid-life crisis is well-known. A guy buys a sports car. Maybe has an affair. Then patches up his marriage (or not).

When I was considering an implant to treat my E.D. I thought of this comparison: I could have a lot of fun with a sports car. Costs about the same as a penile implant and service life about as long.

I went with the implant.

But here is my advice:

Your wife is your partner. Partner with her as strongly as you can. Level with her as honestly as you can. Women are incredibly supportive if they feel loved. Do you sill love her? Women respond to a man they trust. Let her know you trust her. You want some "spice" in your life? Let her know. She may not go along with a nudist lifestyle (or even want to try it out just once), but may well be willing to accommodate you in other ways. Spice up your sex life if (both of you) feel like it. She may well surprise you with her thoughts. You might want to see a marriage counselor (even by yourself). A professional's opinion can often clarify you mind. As has been pointed out, a professional is better equipped to target advice that you need and will probably be more salient than laypersons.

Good luck

[Dave52]

I really thought this website was to support men and their problems. I cant help how I feel but GREYFox your comments stink, I need support need support not to be called names etc!!!

Your not looking for support you want people to encourage you. If she was good enough for those ten years that you were not capable why did you not move on then or was it just more convenient to have here around. She stuck with you during that time. Now your thinking of kicking her to the curb I think what you really need to go talk to somebody and figure out where your head is. Don’t be looking for support from the guys here you need psychological help . This is not the place
To get that type of support.
Dave

[Lost Sheep]

I really thought this website was to support men and their problems. I cant help how I feel but GREYFox your comments stink, I need support need support not to be called names etc!!!

Bubba 1956, Grayfox WAS giving you advice. You asked for advice. He gave it. Harsh or not, I see his post as sincere, caring and if you take it as anything but a cautionarry tale, I think you miss the point. Support comes in many forms. Some soft, warm amd fuzzy and some a kick in the pants. But support, nonetheless.

Perhaps he mis-read between the lines of your initial post. If so, there is a LOT more to your relationship than you stated. And, as I said before (and a couple others here, too) a professional with training and experience superior to ours might be able to help more than we here ever could.

A professional counsellor is (supposed to be) impartial (where we all have our personal biases). A professional generally has a wider range of experiences, data and training to inform his/her opinions (where we here are mostly limited in the amount and breadth of our knowledge, though there are a few professional counsellors here, for sure). We here are selected down to only the males in relationships, where professionals come in both genders and are trained to see the other gender's side.

But where a professional REALLY has the advantage over us here is that he/she can evaluate your situation and ask probing questions to get a full-spectrum view and hafgve it NOT shaded by personal experience..

Where we here have an advantage is that we do have the experience of E.D. (cured or not). So take our opinions with that knowledge. Our perspectives are narrow in scope and particularly enlightened only in one area.

But please don't insult Greyfox if he misapprehended your situation. He read what he read and drew the conclusion that you would benefit from the advice he gave. I am sure he had your best interests at heart.

[Stew52]

Minus the "Wake the 'eff up" (probably OK) and "Dumb a$$" (not OK), I found Grayfox's advice to be great as alternative and realistic advice from someone clearly in the know from having lost his love. A brotherhood may support tough love versus just blithely supporting some acute fantasy. A lot of other people are affected by the outcome, lots hangs in the balance besides just how you are currently hung. We don't know all the facts and are not trained family counselors. Sounds like time to see a good marriage and midlife crisis counselor. Glad your new implant is working well. Good luck my friend.