Dont want to pump in front of her

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
Charlie2019

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Charlie2019 » Tue Jul 07, 2020 8:29 am

needhelp wrote:
Charlie2019 wrote:
Captain1117 wrote:I have been thinking of the same issue..though I dont have an implant yet.

Do you guys use/need both hands to pump?

How long does it takes to get full pump?



I have seen one or two guys that talk about pumping with one hand but the little bugger squirms around in the nut sac so most guys hold it with one hand and pump with the other. I get rock hard in up to 30 wall to wall pumps (full squeezes). Then I can hammer railroad spikes. Hope this helps. :)


For me it takes about 40 pumps at once. That's with one hand. Not sure if 2 would do it quicker



What size is your implant?? Mine is a 15

Charlie2019

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Charlie2019 » Tue Jul 07, 2020 8:54 am

needhelp wrote:I have a question that's been bothering me for over a yr since my implant. This question is really geared for the guy who is in the dating market. Some one who dose not have a wife or in a long term relationship. This makes things a little different for some of us. I did not have ED for any time, mine came from an accident. Im trying to keep things as natural as possible. What I miss is when your on a first date and things get out of control. One thing leads to another and you start tearing your cloths off each other. What do you do?? Stop and run in the bathroom and kill the mood? There's a time and place for everything and I don't think laying it on her that you have to pump up to get it hard is the place. Dose anybody have any ideas on how to keep it as natural as possible and not bring attention to her. I heard some guys say their GF does not know he has a implant ...... how? Any thoughts or ideas??



You can pump it up while performing oral on her..

Waynetho
Posts: 1768
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Location: Dallas, TX

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Waynetho » Tue Jul 07, 2020 11:52 am

Charlie2019 wrote:What size is your implant?? Mine is a 15


Charlie, since you don't have it listed in your signature, you say you have a 15 cm (LGX is listed in your sig). Do you have any RTE's? I have a 15 cm CX with no RTE's (as noted in my sig).
62yo, married 41 yrs. Urolift (x4) 8/12/19. AMS 700CX 15cm (no RTE) penoscrotal 10/28/19, Frisco, TX. PD 1995/ED 2011. Cialis helped but hinged. (1995)L:6/G:5.5+, (2019)Pre-op L:5/G:4.5, (2/2020)L:6.0/G:5.0

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Lost Sheep » Tue Jul 07, 2020 1:51 pm

Quoting the original post:
needhelp wrote:I have a question that's been bothering me for over a yr since my implant. This question is really geared for the guy who is in the dating market. Some one who dose not have a wife or in a long term relationship. This makes things a little different for some of us. I did not have ED for any time, mine came from an accident. Im trying to keep things as natural as possible. What I miss is when your on a first date and things get out of control. One thing leads to another and you start tearing your cloths off each other. What do you do?? Stop and run in the bathroom and kill the mood? There's a time and place for everything and I don't think laying it on her that you have to pump up to get it hard is the place. Dose anybody have any ideas on how to keep it as natural as possible and not bring attention to her. I heard some guys say their GF does not know he has a implant ...... how? Any thoughts or ideas??

I thought I would revisit some other points of the O.P.

"trying to keep things as natural as possible"
"kill the mood"
"time and a place for everything and I don't think laying it on her that you have to pump..."

So, to keep it as natural as possible and not bring it to her attention, is one possible path in your quest for sex. Another possible goal is to bring it to her attention since one of the "unnatural" affects of an implant is that the erection is for all practical purposes, indefatigable. Besides, a woman's nature is to be curious and an erection on demand has got to be one of the more fascinating things a woman can behold (look up the biography of the Greek God, Fascinus for a kick).

Keeping it appearing and feeling as natural as possible for her is a good goal. Keeping her coming back for more is a good goal, too.

On the one hand you could let her know that your endurance is the product of medical science or, on the other hand, you could let her think that you are simply endowed with an ever-ready erection (like Priapus and Fascinus, among other societies' deities so endowed).

Both are viable choices. I have made my choice clear, but I understand yours. There are good reasons to keep your prosthetic secret. One thing is that such secrets, if widespread in your social group may affect your reputation (for good or for ill) among your peers (and ex-lovers are not always discreet about revealing secrets). Your own self-image about being a "natural stud" instead of needing a crutch (I will leave out the lecture about self-deception and denial). What YOU THINK about what your lover thinks about you is another barrier to candor between you (which candor is usually a GOOD thing unless you don't actually like and trust her as a friend, in which case, "What the hell are you doing in bed with her for anyway?") Then there is also the self-aggrandizement of being able to impress her with your erectile durability - It is a wonderful ego boost to hear a woman say "OMG, I never had so many orgasms in my life and OMG, you are still HARD?"

So, yeah, I understand the desire to keep your implant a secret.

But I always return to my mantra:

Women are incredibly supportive and understanding if they feel trusted, respected and SAFE with you.

Then there is this thread:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=12167&p=105570

Wherein there are a number of self-promoting slogans, bumpersticker phrases and t-shirt sayings guaranteed to catch the eye (and imagination) of young ladies.

which has among its ideas:

I bring new meaning to the phrase, "Inflatable Boyfriend"


There are benefits to advertising.

You have received much good advice about how to pump to erection surreptitiously.

1 pump to partial erection before even leaving your home
2 pump a little more after you meet a sexual candidate (this may create the illusion that she is the author of your ardor)
3 undress her from behind and slip in a quick pump or two while she is not looking
4 pump while fumbling with a condom (downside of this is that it is often a turn-on for HER if she puts the condom on you)
5 excuse yourself to the toilet for a moment of privacy and return fully erect (though this may arouse questions in her mind if she is at all of a suspicious nature
6 how to avoid explaining the pump bulb and the pump body in particular, being angular and hard, which are nearly impossible to hide is a question not fully addressed.

Question: Is it possible to combine the two approaches to receive the best benefits of both? That is, let her know that you have this device, but let her keep the illusion that it is natural. Self deception and denial work both ways. Women engage in fantasy, too, and enjoy her man of the evening joining in whole-heartedly.


Shakespeare Hamlet Act 2, scene 2, "The play's the thing"

So, go play and enjoy.

But do not do so lightly. It is not right to spoil the woman for other men in the future. "When folly tempts us, may we recollect what memories may the wretch who, to gratify his vanity, trifles with the affections of a woman, shall have remorse for his companion..." (If anyone knows the source of this quote, please report it to me so I may get the text correct.)

Be good (in both senses of the word).
Last edited by Lost Sheep on Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:55 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Gt1956
Posts: 3042
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Gt1956 » Tue Jul 07, 2020 2:27 pm

LS, I'm a little surprised that some single implant owners haven't posted their strategy. That might be really revealing. On the other hand. Some posts of bad reveals might give show guys how & what to avoid.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Lost Sheep » Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:53 pm

The bad reveals might make some interesting reading.

Besides, such bad outcomes would be good advice. "Some of us are put on this Earth as examples to be emulated. Others are here as cautionary tales."

I do recall one woman member who posted (some time ago before it became such a controversy) who liked her boyfriend (even before having sex and finding out he had an implant, by the way). She figured something was different the first time. After the second or third time they had sex, she figured out he had an implant. She decided not to tell him she knew, For her own reasons. He did not elect to tell her, she would not bring it up. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" seemed to be guiding her decision.

But I would LOVE to read stories of guys who get "outed" as implanted. Aside from any tragedies, the other stories might be hilarious. As well as educational.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Gt1956
Posts: 3042
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Gt1956 » Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:34 pm

You can always look at a bad experience as a learning one.
My general thought was along the lines of if some key words or phrases turn up. A guy might benefit by having some snappy comebacks to steer the convo in a different direction. Much like stand up comedians can block a heckler. If a guy was shy he might not be able to respond with a good come back quickly enough. I.E. he loses control of the discussion.
Maybe a thread on bad experiences would help us prep some of the shy single guys? Afterall, they have posted that they need help. How to discreetly pump is help. But the curious key words might get spoken before the action gets that far. Sometimes teaching someone looks different that what the teacher thinks it should look like.
You've been a member way longer than me. You've read more old posts. Anything ringing a bell?
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Lost Sheep » Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:45 pm

needhelp wrote:I have a question that's been bothering me for over a yr since my implant. This question is really geared for the guy who is in the dating market. Some one who dose not have a wife or in a long term relationship. This makes things a little different for some of us. I did not have ED for any time, mine came from an accident. Im trying to keep things as natural as possible. What I miss is when your on a first date and things get out of control. One thing leads to another and you start tearing your cloths off each other. What do you do?? Stop and run in the bathroom and kill the mood? There's a time and place for everything and I don't think laying it on her that you have to pump up to get it hard is the place. Dose anybody have any ideas on how to keep it as natural as possible and not bring attention to her. I heard some guys say their GF does not know he has a implant ...... how? Any thoughts or ideas??

Going back to the beginning again, I wonder about the assumptions we have made about your expectations.

Are we (you) talking about first-date sex on a hookup?

Are we talking about casual sex with a friend or someone you have been dating for a while?

Are we talking about sex with someone with whom a potential for serious relationship is possible (sometimes such can sneak up on us, you know).

Are we talking about sex within our social circle or with someone a subsequent meeting is unlikely (like on an out-of-town trip)?

Other scenarios I have not imagined?

What kind of scenarios have YOU imagined where your implant might come up as a subject of discussion (intentionally or otherwise)?
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

544kenmatt
Posts: 221
Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:17 am
Location: ROCHESTER , NY

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby 544kenmatt » Thu Jul 09, 2020 8:42 am

I can only give you my perspective as a gay man. The most interesting comment I've had is, "Hey Ken, You seem to have
a constant hard-on. I think you're either on Viagra or have an implant." My answer: " Yes, it's one of those things."
:D
AMS 700 LGX 10/31/2019. age 63

Gt1956
Posts: 3042
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: Dont want to pump in front of her

Postby Gt1956 » Thu Jul 09, 2020 11:35 am

See 544kenmatt hit the nail perfectly. Great non committal reply.
LS, all of your scenarios are valid. I can only suggest that since this question seems to come up often. That lacking more specific questions. A generic answer is the best we could do.
Not that I reccomend this but I guess a guy could not address a question as if he didn't hear it. I'm guessing that many women while curious why their date is fiddling with his scrotum. Might not be curious enough to ask a question twice.
Without more interest from members. I suspect this thread has run it's course.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months


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