The Whole Shooting Match...

[DaveKell]

As I'm closing in on two years being implanted, I was thinking awhile ago about all the changes it has brought into my life. When I speak at men's health ED seminars with a surgeon I always begin by telling the story of my first total, out of the blue ED episode many years ago. My wife and I were booked into a bed and breakfast to celebrate an anniversary and my recovery from surgery #12 of an eventual 18 major surgeries on my intestines. This surgery involved the removal of the sigmoid colon, the last part of the large intestine before the anus. I was a few months out from the surgery and looking very forward to having sex again. I began to get suspicious early in the day as I didn't seem to be responding when I'd think about later that night. When it finally rolled around I experienced my first devastating total failure ever in my life. Same thing happened on the second night by which time I was nearly inconsolable. My ever supportive wife attributed it to me not being fully recovered from the surgery. At the seminars I always elaborate at this point about how this episode launched me into a several years long downward spiral of loss of self esteem, humiliation, and withdrawal from everything and everyone around me. Usually at this point I notice several affirmative nods from guys in attendance.

I go on to explain how I closed down my sign company I'd owned most of my adult life at age 58 and retired because I was entirely unmotivated by any activities I'd previously been involved with. I wasn't entirely financially prepared to retire so young, but made it work anyhow. My life dwindled down to sleeping till about 10 every morning and then laying horizontally on the couch all day long mindlessly watching tv. This continued for a few years.

During these years a very cooperative family doctor I'd been seeing since he opened his practice would prescribe me every new ED treatment that became available. I always had high hopes but always ended up stressing my wife to her limits with my reaction to the eventual failures. During probably an 8 year period I recall only being able to complete sex twice, and it was always rushed before I'd lose the hard on. My wife, however, was always willing to try and always put forth a lot of effort to try and bring me to climax. Her distress was immense over my frustration ( when I mention this at seminars it's not unusual to see a wife look at her husband and touch his arm).

I came across a website one day about implants and spent hours following every link and watching every video about it I could find. I was surprised by how many of the men in them were older than I was. The satisfaction statistics amazed me. I found a physician locator on my eventual implant manufacturer's website and was pleased to see a highly rated doctor was 20 miles away at a prestigious Dallas hospital. Doctors there routinely monopolize an annual 100 Best Doctors In Texas list. In fact, it had been a surgeon at this same hospital who performed my final abdominal surgery nearly ten years earlier that returned me to 100% normal bowel functioning and ended my 22 year long streak of an abdominal surgery every 18-24 months. He took me off a deathbed for the 2nd time in my life and restored a normal life to me (I told him I needed the surgery to be his finest hour and it apparently was). The following week I was in a guy's office there who was the Chair of the urology department.

When he reviewed my surgical history he asked how long after my sigmoid colon was removed did it take for ED to set in. I said as soon as I tried to have sex following my recovery. He dropped a bombshell on me by saying a high percentage of men who have that surgery end up with untreatable ED. I got to go home and tell my wife it was never her fault (as she had once intimated my lack of desire for her) and it was never my fault. It was an asshole cavalier surgeon who never warned me of the possibility. I was scheduled for my implant five days later.

The results have been completely life changing. My relationship with my wife had eroded horribly during my ED years and many times I offered to leave. It wasn't unusual during this time for me to not speak to her most of the day. Rebuilding our relationship was something I thought would magically happen as soon as I could have fulfilling sex with her again. It actually took just a bit longer than my imagined miracle cure. It had likely been years since I uttered "I love you" to her or participated in her life. However, I had what I perceived to be the main component of my manhood back and was willing to invest the time and energy into rebuilding the relationship.

July 28th will be our 40th wedding anniversary and we're as happy now as during our "honeymoon phase" of life together. My wife retired at age 54 from 33 years of teaching (she's 7 years younger than me). Last year we started a business together we run out of a building I erected on our rural property where we live in a beautiful brick home among pastures with horses all around us we bought new 4 years ago. We enjoy selling our wares at craft fairs in towns surrounding us. She accompanies me to the seminars I speak at and tells her side of the story and fields questions from wives in attendance.

Our home is once again the center of activity for our extended family (we have an acre of parking available for every family event). All of our kids have mentioned at one time or another how happy we seem to be again. Our sex life is a natural part of our existence together just like it used to be. That's the catalyst for the awesome transformation we've had in our lives. ED massively interrupted our existence but it has been quashed as effectively as if the Mother of Dragons set fire to it flying overhead on her dragon. I always end my seminar presentations by saying I was taken off a deathbed twice in my life by surgeons but the implant is what I consider to be the greatest medical miracle I've gotten. A normally functioning man is a complete, whole man in every way he should be. That's the gift I gave myself as I'm sure many of you see it the same. I apologize you probably need a nap after reading all this! I love being a player in the Bionic Brotherhood!

[antelope]

Wonderful story...thanks for sharing!

[Happy Toy]

What a GREAT story! I know exactly how you felt because I had the same thing happen to me. However, it was not from some surgery, but just plain old ED. I would get hard then at just the WRONG moment, I would go flat. At first, it would happen just now and then, then more and more often till it got into my head that it would happen and it did. As with you, my wife was very supportive but then felt it was her fault or something she wasn't doing right. I was a very bad time for us as we always enjoyed sex. I used injections for 12 years and up until the 12th year, they worked pretty well, then the problem started all over again. That's when I found out about implants. Got my implant last June and am so very happy with the results. We are having great sex again knowing that I never have to worry about my dick failing me again. I love my implant and wish I had gotten it years ago. One other benefit for me is with the implant, my flaccid size increased from less then an inch to almost 4" all the time, and I still have my same erect length of 5.5". I couldn't be happier!
Andy

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[oldbeek]

Great success story Dave. I had RP and all nerves were removed. Trimix caused sever pain. Implanted 9 months after RP. Wife said didn't need it. I did it for myself. Needed it to feel whole again. Wife hates it. I think she resents the fact that I had the implant. She never kisses or even touches my hand anymore. She says ANY advance by her turns my hornieness on. Life sucks.

[DaveKell]

Great success story Dave. I had RP and all nerves were removed. Trimix caused sever pain. Implanted 9 months after RP. Wife said didn't need it. I did it for myself. Needed it to feel whole again. Wife hates it. I think she resents the fact that I had the implant. She never kisses or even touches my hand anymore. She says ANY advance by her turns my hornieness on. Life sucks.

That seems to be an all too familiar way many wives respond to the idea of an implant. My wife wasn't exactly against it, she only asked me why I'd want to have an unnecessary surgery after having 18 major ones before. I told her I didn't consider it unnecessary if it meant I could have sex with her again. Her response was along the lines of after all the stress and disappointment trying to have sex had caused me why don't I just accept it isn't happening anymore, because she had long ago grown accustomed to no sex life. I told her the lack of sex is why our life together has deteriorated so profoundly. Women don't seem to see it that way. She told me there's lots of ways to have romance in a relationship without sex and romance was what she missed most of all. I told her I'm not capable of it without the component of sex being a possible outcome and that I was having the surgery. She said ok, but just know I don't need for you to do this so it's completely up to you.

The first time I inflated to show her she was very much less than impressed. She said the thickness is mostly gone, which was true because I had the flat oval shape now, a wider dick for sure but nowhere near as thick as it was before. The length wasn't an issue fortunately. Her only other comment was that if I was happy with it that was the main thing. I am the only man she's ever had sex with, she's 7 years younger than me and she's aware of all the women I was previously with (in truth she only knows about a third of that). She never had any idea I had rampant premature ejaculation because she had no way of knowing there were other guys capable of lasting several more than the maximum of 2 minutes I did. The first time we had sex I got momentarily concerned that I wasn't going to be able to cum. It was taking forever, which was something I thoroughly loved and was incredibly surprised with. She even asked me in an exasperated tone if I was EVER going to finish! I told her afterwards that I had always had PE and how this was a massive improvement. Fortunately, she enthusiastically agreed and we began a marathon session over the next several days.

There was still a rift between us though that was evident in her behavior infinitely more so than mine. She eventually told me how hurt she was that I had pulled away from her so much because I couldn't have sex for years and the implant didn't magically fix that. I was pissed because in my mind the lack of sex was the entire culprit and I underwent an implant surgery and got that fixed and thought the issue was behind us now. I eventually came around and realized all the things I had stopped doing for her over the years and sat about rectifying that. I'll confess the thought of starting over with someone else occurred to me, but I realized our marriage was the corner stone of our three kids and four grandkids lives and I'd be on the losing end of relationships with them if I departed. I changed my thinking, denied myself and decided to see things through my wife's eyes. The improvements came slowly but they came.

I'm convinced guys have an infinitely higher degree of reliance on sex as the panacea for any ills that could plague a marriage. Women are involved more so in the whole emotional aspect of the "whole shooting match", as the title of this thread says. It was like I had to start over from the beginning when I first won her over when she was still a teenager. That wasn't all that hard when you get right down to it and it of course ended up with both of us getting what we wanted. I don't even have to think about these things anymore. Our life is again what it used to be. I'm capable of the sex that to my mind makes my manhood complete again and she has an affectionate, doting life mate. It doesn't get much better than that.

[Larry10625]

As I'm closing in on two years being implanted, I was thinking awhile ago about all the changes it has brought into my life. When I speak at men's health ED seminars with a surgeon I always begin by telling the story of my first total, out of the blue ED episode many years ago. My wife and I were booked into a bed and breakfast to celebrate an anniversary and my recovery from surgery #12 of an eventual 18 major surgeries on my intestines. This surgery involved the removal of the sigmoid colon, the last part of the large intestine before the anus. I was a few months out from the surgery and looking very forward to having sex again. I began to get suspicious early in the day as I didn't seem to be responding when I'd think about later that night. When it finally rolled around I experienced my first devastating total failure ever in my life. Same thing happened on the second night by which time I was nearly inconsolable. My ever supportive wife attributed it to me not being fully recovered from the surgery. At the seminars I always elaborate at this point about how this episode launched me into a several years long downward spiral of loss of self esteem, humiliation, and withdrawal from everything and everyone around me. Usually at this point I notice several affirmative nods from guys in attendance.

I go on to explain how I closed down my sign company I'd owned most of my adult life at age 58 and retired because I was entirely unmotivated by any activities I'd previously been involved with. I wasn't entirely financially prepared to retire so young, but made it work anyhow. My life dwindled down to sleeping till about 10 every morning and then laying horizontally on the couch all day long mindlessly watching tv. This continued for a few years.

During these years a very cooperative family doctor I'd been seeing since he opened his practice would prescribe me every new ED treatment that became available. I always had high hopes but always ended up stressing my wife to her limits with my reaction to the eventual failures. During probably an 8 year period I recall only being able to complete sex twice, and it was always rushed before I'd lose the hard on. My wife, however, was always willing to try and always put forth a lot of effort to try and bring me to climax. Her distress was immense over my frustration ( when I mention this at seminars it's not unusual to see a wife look at her husband and touch his arm).

I came across a website one day about implants and spent hours following every link and watching every video about it I could find. I was surprised by how many of the men in them were older than I was. The satisfaction statistics amazed me. I found a physician locator on my eventual implant manufacturer's website and was pleased to see a highly rated doctor was 20 miles away at a prestigious Dallas hospital. Doctors there routinely monopolize an annual 100 Best Doctors In Texas list. In fact, it had been a surgeon at this same hospital who performed my final abdominal surgery nearly ten years earlier that returned me to 100% normal bowel functioning and ended my 22 year long streak of an abdominal surgery every 18-24 months. He took me off a deathbed for the 2nd time in my life and restored a normal life to me (I told him I needed the surgery to be his finest hour and it apparently was). The following week I was in a guy's office there who was the Chair of the urology department.

When he reviewed my surgical history he asked how long after my sigmoid colon was removed did it take for ED to set in. I said as soon as I tried to have sex following my recovery. He dropped a bombshell on me by saying a high percentage of men who have that surgery end up with untreatable ED. I got to go home and tell my wife it was never her fault (as she had once intimated my lack of desire for her) and it was never my fault. It was an asshole cavalier surgeon who never warned me of the possibility. I was scheduled for my implant five days later.

The results have been completely life changing. My relationship with my wife had eroded horribly during my ED years and many times I offered to leave. It wasn't unusual during this time for me to not speak to her most of the day. Rebuilding our relationship was something I thought would magically happen as soon as I could have fulfilling sex with her again. It actually took just a bit longer than my imagined miracle cure. It had likely been years since I uttered "I love you" to her or participated in her life. However, I had what I perceived to be the main component of my manhood back and was willing to invest the time and energy into rebuilding the relationship.

July 28th will be our 40th wedding anniversary and we're as happy now as during our "honeymoon phase" of life together. My wife retired at age 54 from 33 years of teaching (she's 7 years younger than me). Last year we started a business together we run out of a building I erected on our rural property where we live in a beautiful brick home among pastures with horses all around us we bought new 4 years ago. We enjoy selling our wares at craft fairs in towns surrounding us. She accompanies me to the seminars I speak at and tells her side of the story and fields questions from wives in attendance.

Our home is once again the center of activity for our extended family (we have an acre of parking available for every family event). All of our kids have mentioned at one time or another how happy we seem to be again. Our sex life is a natural part of our existence together just like it used to be. That's the catalyst for the awesome transformation we've had in our lives. ED massively interrupted our existence but it has been quashed as effectively as if the Mother of Dragons set fire to it flying overhead on her dragon. I always end my seminar presentations by saying I was taken off a deathbed twice in my life by surgeons but the implant is what I consider to be the greatest medical miracle I've gotten. A normally functioning man is a complete, whole man in every way he should be. That's the gift I gave myself as I'm sure many of you see it the same. I apologize you probably need a nap after reading all this! I love being a player in the Bionic Brotherhood!

What an awesome story Dave, thanks so much for sharing. I have spoken, on the phone, to 3 new members in the last 3 days, All three started off by thanking us for having such a great website. They, like I, found Frank Talk by accident and it has been a life saver ever since... (well, mentally anyway). Your story makes you a perfect candidate to speak to large groups of ED men and you are an invaluable member of Frank Talk.

Larry