My ED Story

[Dirk Winston]

Hello

I was introduced to this forum by a friend in the Philippines. He has an implant and is very happy with it. I know three people who have implants and all three are very happy they did it.

A little about me. (Maybe more than you want to know)

Molested as a child from my earliest memories to around 13 or 14. Then puberty hit and became an extreeeeeeem masturbator had no problems throughout all of this getting and maintain an erection. Also during this period of my life came extreeeeeeem use of drugs and alcohol. However, no sexual activity. Was beat by the ugly stick when I was born. By my early 20s the drugs and alcohol transitioned into this fitness weightlifting junky I transitioned away from the drugs and alcohol into protein powder cans of tuna and more protein powder and by 21 I had my first sexual encounter. I should mention I am completely straight, nothing wrong with being gay but I am not, have always been attracted to women. Was in a relationship with one girl for nearly three years had no problems getting and maintaining an erection. However, the relationship petered out to where the last year together we rarely had sex, daily masturbation creeped back into my life and I had not problem getting and maintaining an erection when masturbating.

At 23 I met an extremely attractive girl, after a night at the bar, no drinking I had sworn it off. Went to her car and I could NOT get an erection no matter how hard I tried.

This is when the ED started for me at an early age I thought, I'm too young and DIDNT DARE talk about it with my age related friends. This is something that happens to old men not me I’m too young, I must be masturbating too much. Had no problem getting and maintaining an erection when masturbating, which I did on a daily bases. A few months after this encounter I met another Extremely Attractive Girl who I wanted to be in a relationship with. I had sworn off masturbation and viewing of pornographic material after the humiliating experience with the girl in her car. Was extremely into my working out and weightlifting but DID NOT use steroids, protein powder and cans of Tuna. However, I had a since of low libido a since that it would not rise. After a night at a bar, again no drinking for me, my hoped for new girlfriend invited me back to her place to watch TV she went into another room and put on a little nighty and came back. She was sitting on the sofa I was in the chair, she asked "why don't you sit with me" so I did, at one point she stood up and bent over and lifted her nighty. But I just had this FEAR this since of low libido no drive no one home down there and a since that it wouldn't rise and I would humiliate myself again. So I plaid the nice guy and told her I wanted her as a girlfriend and it was too soon and here I’m only 23 this shouldn’t be happening to me at this age.

We developed into a relationship and were together for three years. But my ED was a problem in the relationship. I was still extremely addicted to the gym and working out, but no steroids. I could not always count on me being able to rise and perform. I rarely naturally could get an erection even though I had fallen painfully in love with her and found her to be Extremely Beautiful. I was almost always successful at getting an erection from performing oral sex on her it would arose me and turn me on and I would get good strong healthy erections and be able to perform good healthy sex with her on an almost nighty bases our lovemaking developed into that routine of me always performing oral sex on her which I enjoyed doing and she enjoyed receiving. However, sometimes that didn't work and she would say "don't worry about it you will be better again in a couple days" and usually I was. But the ED, me not always being able to rise not being able to rise unless I performed oral sex on her was a constant problem in the relationship in my mind. I was not whole I felt, I had this image in my mind that a man just thinks boner and there it is. But I could not do that I needed some stimulation I could not just boom there's my boner. My issues with my ED as well as other stresses finally ended the relationship.

I should mention even though I didn’t know it at the time the extreme use of soy protein powder tune eaten from cans the extreme weightlifting increasing testosterone thus increasing aromatization all of which could have given me hormonal imbalances increasing my estradiol to high levels that cause the lack of steam down below. This is my hypothesis for the possible reasons for my ED at such a young age.

So by my mid to late 20s I’m single and daily to almost daily masturbation and viewing pornographic material creeped back into my life. I did not have a problem getting and maintaining an erection when masturbating. I’m still extremely addicted to the gym and weight lifting, no steroids. However, my extreme thirst for working out transitioned into an extreme thirst for knowledge and I entered college. The end of my 20s and throughout most of my 30s was spent obtaining an undergrad degree a graduate degree then law school and a law degree and began teaching at a University. Was still into fitness working out but running had become my main physical obsession and became an amateur marathon runner during my schooling years.

Was single throughout this period masturbated when needed usually to pornographic material did not have a problem getting and maintaining an erection when masturbating. However, still on occasion would get a since of low libido down there like no one was home and a fear that I might not be able to count on the guy down there to wake up if the moment for pleasure with a women ever came. Throughout this period did have occasional flings with women I would occasionally meet at a bar or at University. Performance was mixed did have some decent performances at time but also had some horrible failures and humiliations and the since of low libido no one home down there continued.

By my late 30s the occasions of horrible failure and humiliation, on one occasion met a Beautiful young Vietnamese girl 21 at a bar, again no drinking, went back to my place and I could not perform could not get an erection for nothing she came back again the next night but again could not get an erection. I still had it in my mind that I was too young for this, this is for old men and I did not DARE speak about it to my age related friends. But I decided it was time to take the bull by the horns and see a Doctor. So I made my first appointment. He checked my hormones and said my estradiol was high and gave me a prescription for Teslac to lower it and also one shot of testosterone but I really did not feel any difference in my libido from the one shot of testosterone or from taking the teslac. Viagra was about a year away from coming out, but there was the Muse Alprostodial and he gave me prescriptions for the 250 Muse. Which seemed to help when I would not rise the Muse did not give me an erection per say but it did send blood to the area and meat me up so that my own natural body many times would start to do its thing and perform. But still had the since of low libido. Within the year Viagra had come out on the market and my doctor gave me a prescription.

My first experience with Viagra was a disaster. Met a beautiful super-hot girl in her early 20s, I’m pushing 40. Went over to her apartment one thing led to another, I still had some Muse but left it at home and brought this brand new 50mg pill called Viagra that my Doctor gave me. It looks like we are going to have sex we undress get in bed and I take the Viagra right before we are to have sex And NOTHING. I can’t perform It’s a weak barely usable erection but I did perform pretty good oral sex on her. So I’m leaving thinking the Viagra thing the Dr. gave me is complete waste. About a half hour to an hour later I’m starting to get this INCREADABLE erection, Thick Hard Strong Beautiful Healthy Erection and my face glows, I know my life has just changed for the better Thank GOD For Modern Medicine.

So I’m entering my early 40s, 40 to be exact and my dating life which was never plentiful, slowed down to NOTHING ZERO and I had no opportunity to use the Viagra. But I am masturbating as needed using pornography as needed no issues getting and maintaining an erection when masturbating but still have a since of low libido down there at times but also a since of confidence that Viagra will come to the rescue.

Nothing I’m proud of but nothing I’m ashamed of, a friend introduced me to on line dating, escort services, AND I BECOME A SEXUAL ADDICT. The Viagra is a MIRACLE DRUG it brings the dead back to life and I am off to the races. The Viagra is working GREAT the first few years. But then it happend. I could not get an erection with the Viagra and I could not perform with the girl. Over time it started to happen more and more and when the Viagra works it’s not quite as good as it was before. I try the others Cialis Levitra and the result is the same, at times Great at other times it fails me. The failure becomes more and more frequent and I become more and more unsure if I will be able to perform even with the PDE5s that I start shying away from the dating services and start using them less and less until not at all, because of the failure and uncertainty of the PDE5s. During the period of GREAT results from the Viagra and the EXTREME use of Dating Services the masturbation and viewing of pornographic material ground down to nothing and I have not masturbated or viewed pornographic material for over ten years.

Nothing I’m proud of but nothing I’m ashamed of, by my mid to late 40s as the PDE5s are starting to fail me at home and I’m shying away from using the dating services. Another friend introduces me to international single male travel and again I’m off to the races. For some reason internationally the PDE5s no matter which ones I’m using Cialis Viagra Levitra, no matter if it’s from my prescription at home or generic bought overseas are working GREAT and I’m a MAD MAN again all over the world. There were at least a thousand women from all over the world. I ALWAYS loved the taste of a WOMEN both front and back and always always went down on my women and rung the bell of many many women from all over the world. Japanese girls Korean girls Chinese girls Thai girls Philippine girls Indonesian girls Indian girls African girl Mexican girls, Nicaraguan girls Costa Rican girls Colombian Girls Dominican girls, Brazilin Girls Argentinian girl and they all tasted great. BUT ALWAYS needed the PDE5s to perform and performed GREAT internationally with the PDE5s. Going down on my women which I loved doing ALWAYS started the PDEs to work it ALWAYS gave me ROCK HARD erections and I PERFOMED GREAT had GREAT ERECTIONS after going down on my women. I could feel my libido increasing when I took the PDE5s.

Then it happened, I was 52 years old, summer time, down in Mexico, A since a feeling that something had changed it wasn’t there it was leaving me I could feel it I knew it. I’m completely hard erect had taken a locally bought PDE5 and it worked. Performing great, she’s on all fours at the edge of the bed She’s Beautiful 22 years old and I’m behind her performing great with a great erection watching our reflection in the mirror but I knew something had changed I could feel it, I feared it, I hoped it was only temporary I hoped I was wrong, but somehow, somehow, somehow, it may be more.

FAILURE repeated FAILURE the PDE5s had stopped working internationally. Humiliation and failure more and more failures internationally I began turning women down who were approaching me because I could not be sure I would work and I depended a great deal on the skill and dedication of my partner to bring me to life. No more could I go down on my women because it now psychologically became a chore to me and no longer would it give me the erections I would get in the past. I was completely dependent upon the oral skills and dedication of my partner to even get me half way full the PDE5s were not working like before. Occasionally they seemed to do pretty good but it was unreliable and the since of low libido no drive down there was back.

My diet had become a disaster over the past ten years. I who had been a weight lifting marathon running health nut had let myself go, over the past ten years I had put on weight, a lot of it. McDonalds, Pizza, rotisserie chicken and bags of potato chips had become a staple of my diet.

First thing I need to do was clean up my diet get back into the gym and live a healthy life style. I Began intermittent fasting started a diet that promotes testosterone production nitric oxide production and lowers estrogen in the body. Began a dedicated consistent weight lifting routine. Healthy diet lifestyle and exercise and made sure I got eight hours of sleep a night.

Started taking supplements Coconut oil, Avocado oil, Omega 3, DIM, Calcium D Glucarate, Zink, Magnesium, Boron, Vitamin D3, DHEA Black Maca, Ashwaganda. Garlic, vitamin C, Beat supplement. Milk Thistle, Dandelion root.

Also tried horny goat weed, yohimbie, tribulas teresti L arginine L citroline, ginseng but gave up using them as I felt there was no positive result from them.

Also started increasing the amount of PDE5s to levels of 300 to 600mg.

Got a prescription for Caverject the 5mcg level seems to work well for me but I hate using it because it leaves me with an uncomfortable unnatural erection after the sex and I am always concerned about priapism. I also got a prescription Muse Alprostadile the 250mg level really did not work for me as well as it did years ago when I first tried it so I use the 1000mg level The Muse no matter what level never gave me a hard steel erection but brought blood into the penis and made it meaty allowing my body with the PDE5s to usually produce a hard steel erection.

For the past two and half years I have been maintaining the good diet exercise life style supplements increased use of PDE5s. The combination of this along with a dedicated skilled female partner has taken me for a D level of erection ability when I was at my worst to usually a B level of performance. But I am not at an A level and I’m not always at a B level but usually I am. I use the Muse when I am not working that well and if I really like the girl and have fear that I may not rise I will take the caverject. I usually try first if I’m not succeeding I tell the girl I have to pee and go into the bathroom and will inject myself with the Muse or the caverject.

This is where I am at now with my ED and this is my ED story, something I have dealt with since the age of 23.

I will write about my ED plan of action in a following post.

Dirk

[Flavio]

This is when the ED started for me at an early age I thought, I'm too young and DIDNT DARE talk about it with my age related friends. This is something that happens to old men not me I’m too young, I must be masturbating too much.

Thank you for sharing your story.

ED is not an old man's disease, it can strike at any age (I barely had any sex in my 20s because of psychogenic ED) and is actually increasing among young men today.

Viagra is very effective but you didn't use it properly, you need to take it 30 min. before sex (1 hour before sex, in the case of Cialis).

Don't worry too much about sex (easier said than done, I know), it's perfectly normal to fail every now and then and that's not shameful or horrible. We've all been there before. There are so many factors that may influence our performance (e.g. fatigue, flu, medication, anxiety, depression), it's actually a biological miracle that we can get erect at all.