I laid it all out.....!!!!

[silverdude]

First and foremost I love my wife and she has been a gift to me! Last night as we were driving home from a long journey, I laid it all out about ED, my old age, my neglect to her, and what I have been researching.

The moment was right and a good 2 hour discussion proved excellent results. I have been neglecting to lay out all the facts about myself and the so called psychological ideas that I had regarding not being able to have an erection, and the emotional crap that goes with that stupidity of becoming withdrawn. Yes I have “stupid” reasons for neglecting our intimacy and sex life, by the mere fact that I was ignorant. Therefore we talked about all the “devices”, for sex play from vibes to VED devices, and her role in, and especially, VED, constriction rings, etc. Then pills, implants, “I spoke of watching a vid” on an implant procedure that a member posted here. The conversation led to penis injections, testosterone, libido, and so forth. I laid out all about my libido and lack of, and why I started testosterone injections. We talked seriously about sex, intimacy, love making, kissing, touching, lubes…..the entire spectrum of what I can remember from my research. Even why a man gets nocturnal erections and my lack of. My thoughts….all of it…..even spoke of soft porn, thoughts of all this in a journey together, and making that journey exciting. My wife asked me about my fantasies or dreams, or….(we are not crude or mean) …I have a few small fantasies….and never spoke about them…..until now….AND I asked her about hers. A little digression….we do use some toys in our lovemaking, and she loves it.

Importantly….one of the members here, gave me a pm about his relationship with his wife, and their “love making journey”, communication, etc. Importantly over the years how he and his wife, made, or gelled, their relationship. “LAY IT ALL OUT” he told me. His words were profound, and appreciated! ALSO, other member here speak of their wives and relationship, sex, lovemaking, and so on, and how important these concepts are.

I am a good communicator, at least try to be, however, as a man with the ED issue…..I have become withdrawn, selfish, and neglecting our relationship, intimacy, etc. AND almost damaging my pretty wife, who over the last couple of years, almost lost her self confidence in appearance, and/or self confidence in herself as a wife. She told me “I didn’t think I was attractive enough for you.”

THEREFORE…..I laid “it” all out……very successful!

Therefore…..after all the discussion and understanding, my wife will become a major part in my and/or our journey to overcome some ED issues, and to have sex and intimacy until we depart this earth. I have an appointment with another uro in a few days, and she desires to go along, and participate. Learn what I have learned and her perspective!

I added an edit....I miss the days of complete spontaneous sex, ripping our clothes off.....now we have to do a little planning, but at least on this forum, a little planning is necessary....and that is ok

[stmfttr]

Silverdude,
AWESOME! Great way to communicate, openly and honestly.

After 26 years of pills, injections, pellets-in-the-penis, penis pumps and other stuff, I finally got my implant. Let's talk about spontinaity. It takes about a minute to go from zero to hero. About 30 or so pumps of the aparatus and VIOLA...so hard you can hang a damp bath towel on it. Here's a plus, after you ejaculate, it doesn't go "Mister Softie" until you press the realease...she will love that.
Any questions about an implant, PM me.

[silverdude]

Thanks for your words sir! One of my weird oddities that got to me, old age, and then my sex, intimacy life, disappearing. So stmftr, 74 years young, married 50 some years. Many others on this site, very similar. As I read more and more stories of fellows on this site, and the inspiration, really has been overwhelming to me. I cannot thank enough for all that have posted and tell of their journeys. Even my young wife that just turned 50, had no idea about ED or all the info and info on implants.

AS a newbie, for lack of better words, I will continue to share our journey as well, and hopes to inspire others as well.

I might add, as a burn, explosion, survivor....if anyone would like some or needs inspiration on that subject, pm me.

thanks again!

[ViaSwiss]

Nice work, very hard to be vulnerable like that over this topic.

[Lost Sheep]

Silverdude, I note:

Nice work, very hard to be vulnerable like that over this topic.

and add:


Even more difficult to conceal it.

Getting ahead of the issue does a couple of things: Lets her know what to expect (or not to expect), shows that you are unafraid to confront issues and shows that you are honest with her.

I have often said, "Women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected, safe and desired." (And an erection, while affirming of desirability, is not the only way you can show desire for her.)

You have my respect for the courage to be candid with your wife. You are an inspiration, sir.

[silverdude]

A little update on communication....

My wife has been under the weather a bit lately, and she has been accompanying me on work trips, etc. We have had lots of communication about our sex life, from satisfying, orgasms, positions, and on and on, etc. Whys and how comes. Talking about subjects we have never spoke of. Feels like being young again. We all get wrapped up in day to day lives....spun up...this that, everything comes down at once, or seems as such. As a result, we have returned to spontaneity in our sex/intimate life. A women can be unpredictable, and as us fellows, we are supposed to read the wife's mind. I find that phrase challenging. The downside to spontaneity is having to always have a little supply of a blue pill handy, and that leads to an hour of exploration or foreplay. My mrs always asks why is that important? My reply is always satisfying my wife with good penetration. "Its" (it is a dangling modifier) a man thing....

A strange phenomenon happened a few days ago....I had to make a couple hour trip to a jobsite, and the mrs asked me if I wanted to bring one of our "toys". What the heck....not a problem....so traveling down the road, sort of distracting my driving attention, she is playing with her toy, on herself. I have the remote clicker in my hand intensifying the vibrating frequency. Of course I wanted to participate, but couldn't find a place or exit. In all the years I have been married, and in the dating scene, that frolic has never happened. However, we, now look forward to more, thus thanks to greater communication!

I thought I was closer to injections, however I think that concept is still a ways down the pike. Since our sex/inimate sex life has ramped up, and some days of twice frequency has assisted, and pushed the injection idea on a back burner for now.

[Flavio]

First and foremost I love my wife and she has been a gift to me! [...]

Wonderful testimony, thank you for sharing this.

Most women don't know how to deal with this but I'm glad you found a great wife.

[Flavio]

[...] now we have to do a little planning, but at least on this forum, a little planning is necessary....and that is ok

Yes, a little planning is necessary but the latest ED treatments allow for more spontaneity. Tadalafil and udenafil can ensure an erection for 10+ hours.