Implant or wife

[LBC2020]

So guys
If your wife gave you an ultimatum
Basically saying I’m not sure I’ll be able
To accept the implant
And I’m not sure how I’ll feel

Would you still get it?

My mental health isn’t good at all and I’ve started some Meds but the cause is my ED

and I’m hoping with it gone forever that part of me returns
That confident sexual part

I think I know what you are all going to say but just wondering...

Do we do this for ourselves or our partners?

[Fran4524]

I think is a mix of the tow things. The implant is for you, but we need somebody to enjoy it together. I think the wives could change her vision of the implant when she will have sex with someone

[confused95]

Mental health comes first mate.
Your wife needs to understand how bad you feel and she also needs to understand that the implant is not negatively affecting your sexual performances, it is going to improve them actually.
Have you shown her some videos of people inflating? Give me 10 minutes and I’ll link you a bunch of videos showing implant results (somebody already posted it here on Franktalk)

[confused95]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsWxkrIBHoQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcdCd62KMKI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OOkbFVWMow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C79UsUqvzhc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0BZ2gbKAuk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFnTAZg8SSQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLLLOhLJVRY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ0HM9oS7vg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUgBzT2mmzU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApTb2f4Y4-4

Original post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=15513&p=138093&hilit=antonini#p138093

[wunhunglo]

Maybe a better question would be “implant or life”...instead of wife.Will you resent her if you don’t do it? Why is she against it? Maybe, she is concerned you will cheat. As Chris Rock once stated “A man is only as faithful as his options” In all seriousness, you need to have some difficult conersations. I reccommend reading “Crucial Conversations” before attempting the talk.

Good luck

[Waynetho]

My wife didn't give me an ultimatum ("me or the implant") but she said almost the same words of not being sure how she will accept it. It took a couple of months before she accepted it and by that time I was already cruising the dating sites looking for release (didn't find anyone though). She finally came around and now she loves it.

[edit: I'll add here that I only considered the dating sites after she implied several times that we'd NEVER make love because of "that thing". She eventually said that that sentiment was actually out of concern that she would hurt ME physically. As I said, she eventually came around and loves it and doesn't feel like it's overly artificial.]

Since that time, I've discovered I'm bisexual and explored that side of me with her acceptance, and we have opened our relationship to her best friend and her husband.

However things turn out for you, if you feel you need the implant for your self-image and your mental health, then that's the most important thing. She will either come around to the idea or won't. If she doesn't, that's on her, not you. My opinion is, that if it's your own body and you're improving or fixing something, do it regardless of dissenters, even if one is your wife.

[SteveSW]

I had struggled with ED for so many years, and as it gradually worsened over those years, I wasn't fully consciously aware of how seriously it had affected me mentally and emotionally. I am lucky to have a husband who was supportive from our first conversations about getting the implant and just wanted to me to be happy. He really likes my new and improved dick LOL. What I realized soon after surgery, was that just the prospect of having a reliable, usable erection was improving my wellbeing. Of course, walking around with a 70% erection for several days following surgery told me that this thing was going to be a winner! It was a long 6 weeks till activation, and when I could start fucking again, whenever I wanted, for as long as I wanted was/is a life changer. I have a much more positive image of myself as a man, with more confidence in general, not just in bed. I didn't realize just how depressed I was, until it began to lift. It felt like I was climbing out of a hole I had been trapped in for many years. Having a reliable, functional penis improved many areas of my life, as it would yours too, I am sure. Have some long, lengthy, open, honest conversations with your wife. Educate yourselves and help her understand how this affects you as a man, and will improve your relationship. Good luck.

[Lost Sheep]

So guys
If your wife gave you an ultimatum
Basically saying I’m not sure I’ll be able
To accept the implant
And I’m not sure how I’ll feel

Would you still get it?

My mental health isn’t good at all and I’ve started some Meds but the cause is my ED

and I’m hoping with it gone forever that part of me returns
That confident sexual part

I think I know what you are all going to say but just wondering...

Do we do this for ourselves or our partners?

As I read your rendition of what your wife told you

I’m not sure I’ll be able
To accept the implant
And I’m not sure how I’ll feel

I hear, loud and clear, on her part, fear.

What she is afraid of, I don't know.

A: As wunhunglo posted, the chance you will cheat on her might be her concern.

B: Some women fear that the implanted penis will not feel "real" - essentially a dildo installed in her man.

C: Some women might have gotten accustomed to the sexual situation as it is, and fear a sudden change in the relationship dynamics or the nature of sexual activities

D: Some women might fear resuming sex - perhaps never enjoyed sex in the first place but put up with it (even pretending to enjoy it). I note that when Viagra first came out, some women lamented, "Oh no, I thought we were all done with that stuff."

E: She is concerned about the cost.

F: Some other cause I have not thought of.

All the above, to some extent, should be (must be) addressed in frank conversation as Waynetho suggested and wunhunglo stated explicitly. I do not suggest just showing her the inflation process or inflated penises unless she is the rare woman who is aroused visually.

Assurance that you find her desirable and want to resume sex with her as an expression of that desire might go a long way to getting her on board. Assuring her that it is only her that you desire, but that your lack of erectile function has weighed on your self-image and diminished your happiness with yourself is likely to get her nurturing side to support you.

What sorts of things did you do to seduce your wife in the years you were "functional"? What sorts of things did you do to seduce your wife as you lost erectile function? (These are rhetorical question which you should not feel compelled to answer here, but simply ask yourself so you remine yourself what sort of things give your wife incentive to restore your penis to its normal function.)

Remind your wife (or tell her) that an implanted penis is still a penis, YOUR penis. And very likely to be indistinguishable from the penis of your youth.

[FMLFML85]

.

[Lost Sheep]

Recall this post you wrote in Mon Jul 27, 2020 6:19 pm

I agree
I’ve become angry and miserable although I’ve been that way for years and years bc it’s been in the back
Of my mind for a decade

I just want to be more gentle and loving and it might sound strange but knowing I’ll have a proper dick makes me
Confident again

Makes me feel equal again

and also wrote Wed Jul 29, 2020 1:45 pm

Seeing dr Eid

I’m so afraid but at the same
Time my life is terrible due to ED and non existent libido now
I still have some erectile capacity for 30seconds which stinks

I’m jist so afraid my god if something goes wrong

Or If it goes right ...what that would feel
Like

Happiness

Is your life getting better over the past year (aside from Covid) or is it worse?

What do you see for next year?

Perhaps if you shared how your feelings are about yourself (just the progression of those two posts and your most recent post) with your wife, she would understand better how your need is not just a want, but essential to your (and her) marital happiness