young miserable dude seeking for help

[miserable]

I’m 17 years old, haven’t had sex yet, thanks to any of you who spend a couple of times reading my story, hope u guys all have a good day and overcome any obstacle that is in your way, also answering some of my questions too.
It's all started months ago, on the last days of November 2020 that my problem first began. So one of those nights I was masturbated, the problem was that I really stressed out that night, and I wanted to escape that feeling so I came up with porn and some papers, but then the real deal started to kick in, at first my penis turned on fast (like all the previous attempts), but then it quickly turned down, I tried to arouse it with my hand and then my penis ejaculated quick (even when it wasn't on).
~.~
A couple of days before that night, I was masturbating in a rush stage because it's about time to go to school, so I made my hand do it roughly on it, so I'm wondering whether my penis getting injured after that (which cause that "freak out" night). Days later after that night, I went to see a doctor, I had both the blood test and Doppler ultrasonography check, the result was normal, the doctor told me to stop worrying and focus on my study. I was really happy that day then, all my burden fell after that announcement, I masturbated that night and things went well...Here was the problem, on the morning of the following day, I have no idea but my penis turns on really often, I keep worrying again, so I masturbated again and then it ejaculated quickly after that, the next coming days I attempted to masturbate to make sure my penis normal, but it all screwed up, the symptoms that I did a check on gg just like ed, also like premature ejaculation. I was really stressed out, scared that I just worsen the situation every time I attempt to masturbate.
Then I started nofap/porn for 1-2 months, then when I got back(still scared) the problem was still the same. It could be obvious, but I haven't been sure its cause, whether is: A/Mental? that is it all inside my brain? B/My physical health? C/Venous leak? D/Other reasons?
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About my background, -I masturbated since I was 13, used to do it frequently, till I got 15, got to know about nofap/porn movement, then I try to decrease it to the moment where I could quit it for good.
- I frequently work out calisthenics and cardio (my level is still like beginner though, at calisthenic), not suffering from obesity, not sure of having diabetes or high blood pressure.
- I experiencing stress quite often.
- morning wood problem: before that "freak out" night my morning woods were good, they were hard and long-lasting, but after that, there were someday woke up didn't have it at all, and other days it have but kind of short time.
So I have some questions, hope you guys answer them, and giving pieces of advice:
1/ Am I truly having ed?
I did some gg check and find out Ed only happens if you have sex with a partner, but I haven't so will that having some symptoms like it make me suffer from it in the future (or right now)?
2/ Will nofap/porn help?
Like seriously every time I watched porn it feels really scared and not aroused like I once used to, I still have that urge when seeing hot girls pic though, so will quit those dark-dirty habits help me out?
3/ Is there anyone going through what I have been gone through?
Do you guys successfully overcome it? and how (both physically and mentally)?
4/ Tips/tricks/things I need to do to have a good sex life?

[confused95]

Hey mate.
I’m in a similar situation.
No physical problems with my dick, it is all in my mind.
For one month I couldn’t get an erection and I felt suicidal.
I was given some antidepressants that are not helping me that much, although I’ve been in this shit for more than 7 months so far.
Now I can masturbate, but I feel anxious all day, and still very depressed.
Cialis is working pretty good with me, as my dick is 100% healthy.
My suggestion is you see a therapist and start taking some cialis to regain your confidence back.
Feel free to pm me if you need.

[Lost Sheep]

Welcome to the forum, miserable, and thanks for trusting us with your story.

One correction for you. "ED only happens if you have sex with a partner" is not exactly correct. ED is generally diagnosed/defined as the inability to have penetrative sex with a partner. But if you cannot get and keep an erection, that is de facto, dysfunctional. The presence of a partner is, in reality, irrelevant, though a useful diagnostic factor.

My history: Your libido and need to relieve sexual tensions may be different from my situation when I was your age, but at 17, I only masturbated whenever my arousal/erections became troubling (like if I knew I was going to the Doctor or if my morning erection blocked my urethra, preventing me from voiding my bladder). I did not masturbate as a pastime, hobby or entertainment activity. It was enjoyable, of course, but like eating ice cream with every meal, not something I did.

Reading your post, I suspect you may be obsessing over your erectile function. This may be the source of your apparant ED. Read "Portnoy's Complaint" by Philip Roth. It may not exactly parallel your situation but may give you some perspective over how sex relates to life in general.

As a teenager, it is difficult to discuss changes in your life, your perspectives, your body. At 17 most people do not have the vocabulary or experience to fully express some of those thoughts. Also, things so personal are difficult to share with others. Changes in your physique and brain affect your mind and thinking. It is that way for every person going through life changes. (The human brain goes through two drastic changes between the ages of 1 and 2 and then again between 15 and 25 with the most dramatic during the obvious period of puberty.) You seem to be right in the middle of that maelstrom. Do not let the flood of hormones and massive synaptic creation capsize your boat. Stability can be found by talking to a counselor (not necessarily a professional, but anyone - Parent, Uncle, older sibling, Aunt, even or school counselor or trusted teacher). Pick carefully. I should not have to say that choosing another person going through the same changes as yourself might not be the best choice - others in the same situation may or may not have the perception or maturity to give good advice - "the blind leading the blind" adage comes to mind. But sometimes sharing thoughts and feelings with peers can be helpful.

Of course that last paragraph congratulates you for coming here and asking our advice. Just writing (posting here or keeping a journal) can unburden oneself. I have often posted (in another forum in a different context) that a dog makes an EXCELLENT psychiatrist/counsellor. Good listener and will never reveal any secrets you share.

We are here to help.

[Martin6469]

You will eventually find yourself hugging and kissing a girl who will take your penis in her hand and masturbate you. When she does this, relax and "go with the flow," and I predict your worries will be much reduced or disappear. Penetrative sex will then happen soon naturally. Of course, with the Covid situation you need to be vaccinated, and also your partner.

You seem to have a vicious circle of negative thoughts. It's good you're doing calisthenics. All my life I've found that vigorous exercise reduces such thoughts. I like jogging, for example. Recent research has shown that heavy exercise creates a "feel-good" hormone, and indeed I feel good after every jog, and my problems seem smaller. Another thought: I spent my teenage years in an abusive family, and I found that merely walking in the nearby woods was a great help mentally. The Japanese have recently been calling this "Forest Bathing."

[confused95]

@Flavio will for sure help you if your problem is psychological.
There are many things you can try: PDE5 and also Oral Phentolamine Mesylate

[Nadie123]

Stop by before my venous leak, I am almost 100% sure that your problem is psychogenic, basically your brain relates sexual moments with a lot of stress ... if you are stressed you will not be able to have good erections ... how to improve it. Improve your diet and focus on your erections, (strawberries, pumpkin, peanuts, nuts, shrimp, seafood in general) combine that with some viagra (not much because it can be counterproductive side effects, if it does not work. analyze your ED ... is it occasional? You just can't get a good erection? Does it depend on posture? .....

[silverdude]

I appreciate your openness and sharing. I would say you are an intelligent young man.
I agree wholeheartedly with what lost sheep spoke of!!! Brain development and hormones. Your mind controls, along with diet and many others. The mindset. Enjoy your youth and school, enjoy the fact you are alive, stop and take in the simple things in life.