New Journal and Ramblings

[proudz]

TLDR: I got my implant yesterday! I wanted to post this sooner, but now seems like the right time. I'm a 37-year-old male who received a Rigicon AX implant in Turkey with Dr. Bugra Cetin.

This will be a long post, but I feel it's worth it after spending months reading every post, topic, and personal story here. I'm trying to give back some of the energy and unexpected love I found in this community, where almost everyone recognizes their vulnerability and faces their fears to achieve a much better quality of life. As a heterosexual male, I probably can't speak from the perspective of our gay friends, but I hope my words are universal. Please note, I'm writing this while in bed and recovering. My perspective might change in the coming months, and if it does, I hope to document it.

I'm a 37-year-old European male. For my entire adult life, sex has felt wrong. It hurt me deeply, and I was unable to keep an erection, even with the most gorgeous women imaginable. For years, I ruined relationships with wonderful women who loved me because I couldn't acknowledge and accept that sex simply didn't work for me. I would find any excuse to hurt them and push them away. In recent years, I simply refused to meet new women or have sex because of this painful process. I had resigned myself to it, while my ADHD mind would spin with endless thoughts: suicide, not being a valid man, not being able to raise a family, or maybe that I was gay or asexual.

As a professional executive, I prioritized my business achievements and growth during this time, but that cloud was always on my mind (something others notice, even if you don't). The psychological toll is massive. I can't even imagine living for 40 or 50 years with this problem like some of the older members of this forum. A big hug and much love to all the veterans here.

In April, I had a strange experience. I met up with my first girlfriend; we were together for a long time during our teenage and young adult years. I asked her, "How was our relationship?" because, sincerely, I had never enjoyed sex since we were together. She had no incentive to lie to me now, but she started remembering how we were having sex all the time, in all sorts of places. When I got my first car, we were making love many times every day. That shocked me. Perhaps trauma had buried those memories, but she remembered every moment of our decade together.
To satisfy my curiosity, I kept asking questions. We eventually recalled a day when we were having sex so intensely that I started bleeding heavily. I dismissed it at the time and kept going, but a few months later, our sexual relationship stopped, and I left her without much explanation. She told me she never understood why. Until now, neither did I.

This started my research into what probably happened that day. As a curious learner working in technology and science, I started gathering papers and reading literature. One random day, I found this forum. The "venous leak" theory started to grow on me as I read similar stories from people who never understood what had happened to them and had filled their lives with resentment about their problem. It took me weeks to take the first step and get a Doppler test. Every public healthcare doctor I saw said I was fine and that there was no problem with my penis. Slowly, I started piecing together the last 15 years of my life and how I was reluctant to acknowledge the problem, thinking it was a phase and that I never had problems before.
How wrong I was. My penis was almost necrotic, barely functional. It was impossible to get an erection. I was experiencing atrophy and many other nightmares you hear about on this forum.

Then came my big surprise: What? There's a technology to fix this? And it's basically a pump and a valve? How is it possible I'd never heard about it? I'd heard about injections, Penuma procedures, and all kinds of stuff in gray and shadowy comments, but there is actually a mechanical solution available. This was a shocking revelation.
This was followed by the obvious fearful questions: Will it work? Will I lose my penis? Will I lose size? How does it feel?Does it need maintenance like a car?

I started digging deeper on this forum and saw very clear age gaps. Were there no young people with this? Oh cool, it seems a few members are my age, but it's mostly older guys and very young ones asking questions.

Let's be clear: this is a technology. Technology has different stages of adoption, a learning curve with mistakes, and this affects any new technology that comes out. You need early adopters, you need risk-takers, and you will crash and burn many times. But if the idea sticks, it will evolve over time. All fears are justified, but there is no other option. Such a simple procedure and solution, not involving chemicals or drugs, is a no-brainer for an ADHD brain like mine.
Are you telling me I can click a button and get an erection, anytime or place? Regardless of whether I'm thinking about my business or just driving my car? This is insane. This is a superpower. It essentially frees you from modern-day dopamine loops and a low-T-induced society. It's a tool that unlocks you, just as a car allows you to travel greater distances or a bionic leg allows you to run when it wasn't possible before.

This technology unlocks a superpower. And you guys are worried about your length, size, or other things that are actually unrelated to the technology itself. If you're worried about your size, you first need to learn to love a woman properly and make her orgasm without even touching her. With a superpower like the implant, you get back control of the situation; you no longer depend on external factors. You decide when, where, and how. If you didn't know how to do this before the implant, you need to learn.

On the age gaps: A few older guys here took a step into the unknown because they truly wanted a solution. I can't imagine the hardships these men suffered, not on a superficial level, but on a deeper psychological level. I can't even measure the damage, and I'm still "young." If you are in your 20s, I have bad news: you need the grind. You need to work on all the psychological stuff and relationships before considering this technology. This is a personal reflection, but I believe this superpower might make you skip valuable life lessons that you might miss forever. Of course, if you had a motorcycle accident or were injured in Ukraine, do it. But if you are a young Western man, overthinking won't help you decide to join the brotherhood. Focus on your growth first. For men in their mid-to-late 30s, I think this superpower multiplies our quality of life by 10x, especially if you are a focused professional or are trying to raise a family. This superpower is insane and breaks a lot of the "brain rot" we have been suffering from (porn, gambling, gaming, etc.).

Nobody cares about your size and length. Anyone who does likely has a body count of over 1000 and is not a reliable partner. For everyone else, your confidence, your curiosity, and your sense of humor matter more than your physical size. Porn has done a lot of damage to our brains and to women's brains, and you look at yourself in the mirror thinking you aren't impressing anyone. When you die, you will leave a body behind, but nobody will remember your dick size. They will remember how you were confident enough to take care of her whenever she needed it, at any place or time.

For these reasons, I decided to step up and fix my physical problem. I can attract any woman, but now I can be intimate with them at my own pace.

My Journey: The First 48 Hours

T+0 (Day of Surgery)
I arrived at the hospital for my last blood test and general anesthesia. The surgery was scheduled for 1:00 PM but was delayed due to an urgent case, so I entered the operating room at 3:00 PM. I had zero fear. Worst-case scenario, my penis is already non-functional, so we could try again. No big deal. I woke up at 5:30 PM. The surgery took 40 minutes and was all clean. I feel a mild pain, but I'm not swollen. Now for the worst part: spending the next several hours in bed without moving. The doctor came to review, asked where he put the pump, and if he found any difficulties like Peyronie's or anything unexpected. He told me nothing was wrong, it was a fast and clean surgery, and he expects me to heal quickly. I haven't checked my size or anything. It seems I'm inflated to about 50%. I'm just resting and trying to relax to let my body do the hard work.

T+1 (Day After Surgery)
I had difficulty sleeping, mostly because I sleep on my belly, but I survived the night. The doctor came at 9:00 AM. No blood clots, no swollen testicles, nothing is black, and the glans is fine. I can go back to the hotel to rest. The pain is more like a small burning sensation than a heavy physical pain (like from a motorcycle crash). I was advised to keep my penis in an upward position. I was prepared for this thanks to the forum, so I'm using more fitted underwear and ice. With the painkillers, I've barely felt anything while lying down. I have to say, I think the pain I feel when walking is more psychological than physical, but I can walk. It's just a matter of breaking that mental barrier.
I will update you at my next check-up on T+4 and throughout the first six weeks.

This became a long note on my phone! I'm sorry if the structure isn't super obvious. I will also fix the grammar with some help before posting. Above all, I can't express how much love I have felt for this community and how everyone understands their vulnerability and shares their journey. It's so necessary to reclaim these spaces from all the brain rot out there.

We are supermen now; let's use this power to make everything better. I don't remember all your usernames, but I remember all your inspiring stories. For this reason, I wanted to pay it back and journal my experience for future guests who, like me, might find a helpful point of view here.

[dan_bionic]

Proudz
Welcome to the bionic brotherhood and congrats!
Sorry to hear your story, however very happy, you've got the implant and gonna be a "superman".
Hang in there, relax and wait for the time after recovery.
We are here to answer any question you have, so please update us on your success story!
All the best
Dan

[tomas1]

Wow, what a well written post.
I'll guarantee you I couldn't have read if not.

This will be a life changing event in your life, and I really hope somehow you can reconnect with your original lover.
She sounds like a keeper to me.

Please keep posting details of your journey. I had to sleep on a recliner for several says post-surgery.