Admitting defeat.

[alibaba]

I want to ask the adminstrator, moderator, owner, whatever to take my name off the member list. Easiest way to keep me from lurking here is not to be able to reply. I never have admitted defeat to anything before but I have been kicked in the balls too many times after being excited an implant was going to happen to have even the slightest hint it can ever be. I admit defeat. It is never going to happen. My wife and I do not discuss it any more. she admitted defeat a few weeks ago and the appointment with Dr. Bullock and then the misdirected appointment at St Louis U was the last straw for her. Continuing to fight this battle and lose over and over again is too stressing and depressing for both of us. I have a phone consult with Dr. Eid in 14 days, the only doctor who has told me an implant other than rods or a short lived 2 piece is possible after a robotic prostatectomy and hernia repairs, but I need to be realistic. It costs $285 for a few minute interview. The result is that it still will cost me at least $11K for 7 days motel, meals, airfare, the presurgery testing he says is not covered by insurance because his pre surgery exam is less than 26 hours from the time he does surgery and then the deductible if he is a preferred provider and there is no way I can go through the slow moving process starting this time of year and expect to be healed for work season. My work is seasonal is in the good weather months march through early November. I can't be laid up for 6 weeks when I have work, very physical demanding work, and the last 2 years has certainly proved that starting appointments in august will not get a dick job done in December. Best wishes to every one of you now and in the future. May the dick of your dreams always continue to be the dick of your dreams. thanks to those who offered support. Hugs to everyone . Took 3 attempts to post this but maybe this one will finally work.

[KMeister]

I want to ask the adminstrator, moderator, owner, whatever to take my name off the member list. Easiest way to keep me from lurking here is not to be able to reply. I never have admitted defeat to anything before but I have been kicked in the balls too many times after being excited an implant was going to happen to have even the slightest hint it can ever be. I admit defeat. It is never going to happen. My wife and I do not discuss it any more. she admitted defeat a few weeks ago and the appointment with Dr. Bullock and then the misdirected appointment at St Louis U was the last straw for her. Continuing to fight this battle and lose over and over again is too stressing and depressing for both of us. I have a phone consult with Dr. Eid in 14 days, the only doctor who has told me an implant other than rods or a short lived 2 piece is possible after a robotic prostatectomy and hernia repairs, but I need to be realistic. It costs $285 for a few minute interview. The result is that it still will cost me at least $11K for 7 days motel, meals, airfare, the presurgery testing he says is not covered by insurance because his pre surgery exam is less than 26 hours from the time he does surgery and then the deductible if he is a preferred provider and there is no way I can go through the slow moving process starting this time of year and expect to be healed for work season. My work is seasonal is in the good weather months march through early November. I can't be laid up for 6 weeks when I have work, very physical demanding work, and the last 2 years has certainly proved that starting appointments in august will not get a dick job done in December. Best wishes to every one of you now and in the future. May the dick of your dreams always continue to be the dick of your dreams. thanks to those who offered support. Hugs to everyone . Took 3 attempts to post this but maybe this one will finally work.

So sorry this has not gone well, Ali. Perhaps the time isn't right today but it doesn't mean it won't be right tomorrow. Take some time to not think about this for a while. This a field that is constantly changing. For now, let it go, then later--a few months, a year, two years, who knows?--revisit this issue when you walked away from it for a spell. Hopefully, we'll hear from you again in the not-too-distant future. And if, by some twist of fate, you won't be able to have "traditional" sexual intercourse, that doesn't mean you and your wife will not be able to show love for each other in other ways for the rest of your lives. Take care.

KM

[alibaba]

I appreaciate what you say KM but you have to consider I have spent days getting appointments, then receiveing letters that they were cancelled and finding another doc to have it happen again. I have made many trips to st louit 250 miles round trip and been told I can have a quicky job with rods or a 2 piece "that will be much shorter than the one you have and it won't deflate all the way because the reservoir won't hold enough but 3 inch or 3 1/2 will gt hard. You will hate it, especially since it needs to be replaced ever 4-7 years so you will need most likly 4 more revisions in your lifetime." I would assume I have spent 35 days in 2 years on doctor visits, finding doctors or trying to reschedule visits they have cancelled. add to that the time I have spent since 1997's 2 hernia repairs when it started. that is 18 years of my life , 1/3rd of my life dealing with this shit to no gain. The doc i called yesterday' nurse told me have i ever considered becoming celebant and forgetting about ever having sex, just move along with your life and get a hobby? Fuck man. so much that you can take. Of all the big name docs you guys gave, only 2 had their secretary return a call. Did I get an appointment? No. I am told get all you money to pay for it taken care of it , then contact us. I've had 19 surgeries. They always contacted my insurance and figured out the money bit. I give up. no more of this crap. If I keep it up and nothing happens I will blow my brains out. 2 times last month I almost did. My wife says if you are going to do your, do mine first. I can't do that to that sweet woman. I have to get away from it. Maybe cut the damn thing off so I will never be tempted to throw myself in the fire of punishment trying. Someone emailed me to go see a shrink " and let him convince you that you never want to do anything sexual again so an implant won't be an issue. It's gonna be an issue ever day it is in my hand lik eit has for the last 18 years. Fuck that shit. I just takes a network doc that knows what he is doing who has no hangups or racial bias and does good work in an area I can afford to drive to. Not a doc that tells you an implant can't be done, go find you a risk taker doc ( Bullock). Not a doc that keeps moving your date over and over till you are past the first of the year and have a new deductible. The good thing is the deductible will be met in March. Yesterday I found out I have 2 new kinds of cancer. Surgery scheduled for one cancer Feb 26th @ 9 a.m and the other March 5th. By March 15, I have to be working again if there is no chemo and they don't find melanoma to add to the others so it would be NOV before I can take off from work for this. House payments still have to be made. The crowd funding bit was a joke. The add had one share and 2 people told me if I paid them $5 they would donate $1 to my surgery fund. Scammers. I've dealt with this since I was 39 years. When if first wouldn't work my wife almost kicked me out. Thought i was screwing around or something. Took a while for her to realize, my dick does not work any more. 2 hours ago I turned 57. That is a long time ot treatments that did not work, thousands in cost and too much to say, why don't wait longer?