Only 20 months ago I had a happy life, we had just come back from Spain with my wife, step daughter and my 3 children. All of them lovely in their own right and so very dear to me. 1 month later my worst nightmares started to unfold!
I wasn't Richard Branson but had a good career and was with my second wife who is the most amazing vibrant women and brilliant mum you could wish to know. Only 1 year before we had got married in Cyprus which was blessed with great friends and family. Life was the best it ever had been for me. I'd met the women of my dreams, a dark haired goodness with dark eyes that could melt a mans heart in seconds. She was the shinning beacon that made me proud and honoured to be with her.
I had been married previously and had 3 fantastic children, life had also been comfortable back then but my career was taking too much of the priority which ultimately ended that marriage, all the same and after 6 months of stress I met who was to be my second wife and then life became really perfect for me.
So life apart from a period of going through a separation and ultimate divorce had been very enjoyable apart from one thing which was erectile dysfunction from birth. My condition is a venous leak where an erection is easy to maintain but quickly you can lose it because of blood leaking out. Of course this didn't stop me having children, although the act was sometimes rushed.
When my first marriage broke down I was a bit stressed about dating again but i found off the shelf tablets that helped and there was always viagra if needed.
Come 2015 as i noticed that things had gone slightly down hill and although this didn't matter to my loving wife, being a man obsessed I started to go back to men's forums and saw a treatment called Scerothreapy offered by a Urologist/ professor call Ralph Herwig. People were refered in the UK by London Andrology where a doctor called Franklin Kuehhas worked. I booked an appointment to see him were he explained this procedure that they spatchulated a leaking vein to put glue inside it to close it off. I said ok but could this make things worse? He said absolutely NO. This as it turned out was the biggest lie ever told to me.
Their medical papers claim 88% cure rate and if it doesn't work then your be as per before. This is all lies and total Bullshit as I've found to my cost since.
The surgery was done in Vienna and cost £4000 including flight and hotel. Both Herwig and Kuehhas performed this surgery which took 30mins. After it was complete they showed me X-rays of less blood leaking out and declared this a success. It didn't seem that traumatic and I walked out the hospital after about half an hour. I flew back but felt in the back of my mind that something was wrong.
By the weekend things felt weird although I got two massive erections that were unnatural to say the least. By day 5 EVERYTHING got really weird and I felt a bulge and sharp pain during an erection, my erection collapsed and this was the start of my life falling apart.
Weeks later it was my wife's birthday and we'd bookedyo go to Brugge. What a nightmare I was shaking like crazy man and the whole experience was horrendous particularly for my wife who saw me fall to me knees in angeish at the train station. My life felt destroyed and I started to call psychics because the future looked really grim. I became obsessed with this and just wanted to know we were going to be ok ! The previous me would never have even concidered this because I was frugal with money even when I had it. I even started to discuss adoption of all things to try and please my wife and sort of make things right ??! I had a verstomy so knew we couldn't conceive naturally. I was also now in psychosexual councilling.
I had a month off work with depression and stress which with regards to the former I'd never had in my life, previous to this I was a bit of a joker and wind up merchant no one could take me seriously but I never meant any harm
now I was emailing the doctors and the clinic manically to tell them what bastards they were. They provided me a follow up appointment where they said new leaks had opened up etc.... what a horrible nightmare and for only £4K !!! They offered penile implant surgery at a knock down price like it was part of their commercial master plan !!!!By November I started to use Vigara again and notice that things had settled down a bit, my mood stated to lift and but not the same as before.
Come the New Year we went to my wife's mums in South Africa. Things were good on the intimate side and I'd started to settle down after a bad end to 2016 things were on the up. This said I could no longer obtain regular spontaneous elections for some reason ?? Whilst my appendage felt cold when it didn't previously. To add the stress had made me a regular smoker when previously I was only social whilst I tried like most people to look after myself.
All ok until I thought like a fool I could come off anti depressants in May because I foolishly thought I was ok !! At the time my wife's friend had started an affair, normally I'd either go with flow or have a soap box moment on red wine, unfortunately none of this, I became angry, agitated and paranoid my own wife was cheating on me!!! One one night end May I exploded like a demented drunken demon, not Violent but manic enough to frighten my wife and cause her to ring friends for help. She went to Spain with her mum and was away for 2 weeks, I obsessively texted, called, rang psychics, smoked, got drunk and cried. She emailed me to say it was over but somehow she must have still loved me enough to come back, this was strike two after shock depression the previous year.
The weeks went on and we reconnected and started to discuss of all things me having a versectomy reversal, all of this after having surgery the previous year ! I went ahead in September, I was still smoking and drinking a lot as I was still suffering the trauma of Scerothreapy because it took longer to get aroused for sex and masturbation had become difficult. I was now in councilling to try and better understand myself.
After I'd had this done, things outside our marriage took hold such as very ill parents etc.... we both started to think it was a bad idea and baby doesn't always make you happy. However by early December we decided to try again, all was ok in the bedroom department until December 12th 2016 when I could get any erection on the predicted day of ovulation, I went into melt down and cried and this really distressed my wife. I really knew then things were bad. Xmas was a very difficult time as I knew my masculinity was really waining, I didn't even resopond to Vigara! ! By Boxing my wife came back and said it was over, she'd had enough quite understandably. By 11.30am the next day she called me to meet her that afternoon when by a cold foggy lake she told me she was pregnant!! Jesus how it was like a miracle.
She came back home and we planned for the new future family addition, however by this point I knew I was now totally impotant and my mental health was in decline as was our relationship, whilst my job to which was a walk in the park before was becoming 1000% more difficult.
We were supposed to all be going to Spain end January but my mental health wasn't good, I'd come back from a work conference to which my presentation was terrible as I'd not slept all night because of the stress of my life falling apart. My wife went along with my step daughter and I know felt I was drifting out of her life. She came back AGAIN god bless her!
During March we'd had my wife's mother stopping with us as she was recovery with cancer, it was a tonic for me to assist in caring for her and helping in a small way getting her back on her feet. After she had gone I missed her because I knew her presence sort of kept me still with my wife. This is how desperate I'd become.
Around this time I decorated our new babies bedroom, as I know now she will never sleep in this room.
During this time I was trying to negotiate with the MD of London Andrology for them to cover the cost of penile implant surgery in order to atone for their referal to Professor Herwig the man who along with Franklin Kuehhas has destroyed my life. During this year I met another man from Austria who is 32 and had Scerothreapy in January, this man had no issues apart from first date anxiety but yet Herwig took his money and performed his life changing miricle surgery. He is now impotent at 32 and his life destroyed before he even started a family. A third man not to be named committed suicide 4 years ago after he had the same surgery with Herwig and Kuehhas.
As of tomorrow my wife leaves our nice family home of 5 years with my beautiful step daughter and 5 months pregnant with my baby girl to whome we have decided to call Clover. Life feels so cruel and when people say by the grace of god go I, no grace has been granted to me since I stupidly choose to have surgery on my penis 19 months ago.
To see my wonderful and beautiful lady leave is heartbreaking whilst when I now look in the mirror I see a broken shadow of my former self. I was so happy but now every significant song to our relationship whilst drowning myself in alcohol cuts at my heart like 1000 daggers. It's a waking nightmare and I want it to STOP.
I'm now alone, Ive lost friends and Worst of all I've lost the love of dedicated and loving women and the cheeky smile of a fantastic step daughter. I'm struggling to even face my brilliant 3 children because of the fear they will see the destroyed man I am.
To be constantly happy in life is never achievable goal, to be constantly unhappy only has one outcome !
If only those two greedy doctors could see how their risk free surgery has impacted on me and my family then maybe they might just reconsider their treatment is risk free.
As for me I'm hanging onto my job with my finger tips. That's how bad things have got. I'm feel emasculated, alone, penniless and ashamed.
Please publish this and show others the impact bad medical practice can have on people's lives.
Thanks for reading
Gollam121
42 years old, Venous leak all my life. Pills worked but not so much then I foolishly did Scerothreapy (See young guys thread). Now totally impotent and just want an implant to stop me from completely crazy.
Not sure if this will be edited but hope it doesn't so all can read and make an informed decision. Let everyone know who you speak with that has ED to read, study and research everything about it before going forward. Find the best doctors and check them out, ask questions and then study more. We do not want anymore "GOLLAM121's" to happen.
