What To Do? You Like Erotic Sex and Your Wife is Plain Vanilla

[Cigar56]

Unfortunately, sex with my wife has become mostly nonexistent. One problem is that, at age 63, she has pretty much lost all interest, although she won't admit it. She says we can still have sex but she usually says that with all the enthusiasm of checking in at the dentist for a root canal.

I will give her credit for one thing. If I approach her in bed on an evening when the time is right, say a Friday night, and tell her to take her panties off, she will. One hundred percent of the time. But basically, she just lies there and takes it -- your basic duty sex. Oral sex has dried up to nothing -- sometimes she stops after less than a minute. She's plain vanilla, I'm highly erotic. So we're mismatched in that regard.

Thank goodness for the Fleshlight and porn in high definition.

She knows I masturbate and said once that she's pretty confident that I have seen a sex worker a time or two (I claim the fifth!).

Anyway, we have been married 35 years and we know neither one of us is going anywhere. We're terrific friends and do lots of stuff together. If only the sex was better ...

[radioradio]

I wish I knew the answer.

[Cigar56]

Thanks for the comments, ibeleive! Mismatched libido is never a good thing, but there is always hope!

[Anonymous3]

I am in almost the same situation. Since Oct we gave had sex 4 or 5 times. It has always been minor things first 2 times she had spotting afterwards, that cleared up then she got razor burn try to shave, then it was a cold. It seems it is always something. When we do have sex it always at night. To top it off she adk me why I want sex everyday.

[Larry10625]

I am in almost the same situation. Since Oct we gave had sex 4 or 5 times. It has always been minor things first 2 times she had spotting afterwards, that cleared up then she got razor burn try to shave, then it was a cold. It seems it is always something. When we do have sex it always at night. To top it off she adk me why I want sex everyday.

Hugh
I know the feeling sooooooo very well. When my wife and I "shacked up" in my parents house in 1985 we had sex at least every night and a few times more than once a day. At the time I did not have a car and had to take a taxi to work and I had to get that taxi at 0500 or I'd be late for work. One night I was very tired and so I asked her if we could skip this night, and I told her that I was exhausted. From that moment on, I was lucky to get sex once or twice a week and got worse. In 1989 I married her. As time went on it got a lot worse. By early 2015, I was only getting sex maybe once a month... she was 50 and I was 49. Then all of a sudden she started wanting it a LOT more but, by that time, the only thing that worked was 2 Viagra tabs and they were not that great either. My big problem by then was I had my heart attack with triple bi-pass and was on LTD due to a severe back injury and just wasn't all that interested anymore. I told my urologist and he checked my T levels... sure enough they were low so he prescribed Androgel. I hated that shit. It got smeared all over my belly everyday and it stunk like rubbing alcohol and rubbed all over my clothes. All this and it didn't work. I started on injections every three weeks and WOW, what a difference, I was hornier than a three puckered Billy-Goat. Then... my dick decided it no longer wanted to fully co-operate with drugs. (I had already tried injections). Then I started down the implant road. My wife is still horny and I can't wait to heal enough to "fix her problem"

Larry

[dg_moore]

We're walking around in the 21st century with pre-1st century bodies. 100 years ago most would be quite surprised to live past 50. So longevity has increased markedly due mostly to medical science, but our basic systems haven't changed and are wearing out at the same rate they always did. Like my internist says, once you hit 40 it's patch, patch, patch. You have to keep the serenity prayer in mind, and - after you have tried everything - at some point you have accept the things you cannot change. I can attest that life gets easier when you get past worrying about sex.

[Anonymous3]

I seriously weighing all options at this point. With my hip surgery coming up in mid Jan, can not do anything extra till maybe end of Feb. I keep hoping the seitch will flip ba k on for her. She is also very jealous. So I kinda stuck

[Reggieman]

Cigar 56- I can sympathize with you. My libido has been higher than my wife's. She claims that she never thinks about sex unless I bring it up. When we married we were in our 50's and she seemed to enjoy sex a couple times a week. Then 1 year after marriage she gave me the "honeymoon is over" speech. She now felt she only wanted sex once every two weeks. It has been a battle for 18 years. I've concluded that for many, many women they have no idea what sex means to a man and that the pleasure they get from it is merely the orgasm. I get way more out of sex than just an orgasm. When you have an unwilling partner or one who drags her feet every single time it takes the pleasure out of it. It has affected our relationship in an otherwise great marriage. Whenever I would get horney I would also get angry because I knew what effort it would take to get my wife into bed. It is very strange because she always has tremendous orgasms. Very frustrating. After my 2016 prostatectomy my libido dropped and my ability to have good orgasms stopped. They only way I can reach orgasm now is by masturbation and it takes effort. She is enjoying not having me ask for sex now. I had my T levels checked and they are in the normal range. The doc discovered I have high Estradiol and is treating it with an aromatase inhibitor hoping to prevent the T from converting to Estrogen. It's a shot in the dark. I get great ejections from Bimix injections but can't orgasm during sex. I diverge here. I love my wife but have never found a solution to the libido problem and doubt I ever will. Perhaps my libido will completely die which will solve the problem for both of us. I can whine about this all day long. It's a no win situation. I feel for you and myself.

[Larry10625]

I seriously weighing all options at this point. With my hip surgery coming up in mid Jan, can not do anything extra till maybe end of Feb. I keep hoping the seitch will flip ba k on for her. She is also very jealous. So I kinda stuck

Jealous of what Hugh?

Larry

[Anonymous3]

I seriously weighing all options at this point. With my hip surgery coming up in mid Jan, can not do anything extra till maybe end of Feb. I keep hoping the seitch will flip ba k on for her. She is also very jealous. So I kinda stuck

Jealous of what Hugh?

Larry

Almost everything. She knowse everywhere I go