Let me start by saying that being able to fuck is not my concern since I am happily bionic. Right now my problem is having the desire for sex. Depression plays a cruel role in lack of libido. I am greatly depressed over my present situation. When I retired from Disney, I finally bought a 2017 KIA Forte. It rides like a dream. Compared to my Saturn ION that shook you to death at 70mph, this dream is at 80 before I realize it. Hence the reason for my depression. I was on the interstate in the left lane driving along happily with the traffic flow. I wasn't aware that the flow was speeding up. Even if I had I couldn't get out as I was trapped in the flow. Drivers were alerted of a law enforcement vehicle ahead and promptly left leaving me to drive past the officer. You guessed it I was ticketed and charged with 91 in a 70. In Ga.that is considered a super speeder and carries a hefty fine and a guaranteed increase in insurance rates. My wife is in bad health so I have decided not to give her this awesome news but to carry it myself. I Haven had a violation in 20 years and hopefully the judge will be compassionate. But worrying about it has caused this deep depression. I am thankful that I can share this with my brothers here at Frank Talk. Please any advice, prayers, and encouragement would be appreciated. I hate feeling like this but this situation has killed my libido. Just because your dick works every time doesn't stop depression from fucking things up.
Your bionic brother
Donnie
ED and depression.
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Donnie1954
- Posts: 2518
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 9:04 pm
- Contact:
ED and depression.
Implant AMS 700 CX, MS (18cm x 12mm with 5.5cm RTEs) on 10\4\16. 64 Dr. Edward Kata of Orlando. Awesome surgeon. Check out, 'DD Bryan. My implant journey, Wit and Wisdom, Stretching routine, Implant Pics, Natural Hang. Live in Ga.
.
.
Re: ED and depression.
Donnie,
It's not the end of the world. I'm sure throughout Ga many people get speeding tickets for more than 20 over every day. I don't have any knowledge of Ga law or how their traffic court works but I'm sure it's pretty routine. I'd find someone local with experience to talk to. You could even find a local cop to get a little insight from. Most will try to help you out with some insight. Of course there's always a chance you run into an ass but that's always a risk in life. You may want to hire a local traffic court lawyer or at least talk to one. Probably $200 to $500 bucks for a traffic court lawyer to handle a ticket. If it was FL I'd tell you to show up with your lawyer, have him get the officer to drop the citation to less than 20 over or whatever the cutoff is, and then avail yourself of the traffic school in lieu of points option that is available pretty much everywhere, I think. You could try the same without a lawyer but there would be more risk. And there's always the chance the officer won't show, which in many places (not all) means automatic dismissal. Again, that would be my FL advice but I don't know crap about how Ga works.
Not the end of the world. It's just a thing to work through. No biggie really.
Slow down!
It's not the end of the world. I'm sure throughout Ga many people get speeding tickets for more than 20 over every day. I don't have any knowledge of Ga law or how their traffic court works but I'm sure it's pretty routine. I'd find someone local with experience to talk to. You could even find a local cop to get a little insight from. Most will try to help you out with some insight. Of course there's always a chance you run into an ass but that's always a risk in life. You may want to hire a local traffic court lawyer or at least talk to one. Probably $200 to $500 bucks for a traffic court lawyer to handle a ticket. If it was FL I'd tell you to show up with your lawyer, have him get the officer to drop the citation to less than 20 over or whatever the cutoff is, and then avail yourself of the traffic school in lieu of points option that is available pretty much everywhere, I think. You could try the same without a lawyer but there would be more risk. And there's always the chance the officer won't show, which in many places (not all) means automatic dismissal. Again, that would be my FL advice but I don't know crap about how Ga works.
Not the end of the world. It's just a thing to work through. No biggie really.
Slow down!
R.R.P 2011 Mayo Jacksonville, Dr. M. Wehle. Not nerve sparing. C in margins. Radiation 2023, V.E.D, Viagra and PGE-1 (80mcg/ml) injections @ 8 - 14 units. Originally Edex20, then compounded PGE due to cost. Inject. 12 yrs. It works. Treasure coast of FL.
Re: ED and depression.
After typing all this I realize the post may be too serious, but maybe it will help someone someday. Best wishes.
Hi Donnie. I'm new to the board and I might not respond the right way. I have some history with depression and can address that a little. I hope it's useful. The depression you're feeling might not be totally due to the situation of the moment. You may have some depressive tendencies that have just never surfaced before. Or it may be a short term thing related to stress, libido, and the ticket. Either way it might be something you should deal with directly.
I'm going to share my ongoing battle with depression and hope there might be some nuggets of information that could be useful to you. I'm sorry if this is too personal. Use or toss this post as you see fit.
____________________________________
I've been diagnosed twice with severe depression and I've had to deal with some amount of depression many times. I've occasionally been on meds and or had counseling from time to time. Both have helped.
My children all have depressive tendencies, as well. We lost our second child to suicide at age 28. Depression was definitely a factor in his suicide and I'm often depressed about his depression and fearful that another child will do the same thing. It can be vicious. Anxiety about their anxiety and depression about their depression. Ugh.
There are lots of things that can cause depression, and lots of things that can help. Everyone is different, and the things that help me might not be useful to you, but these things seem to help me the most:
1. Counseling. Professional counseling about my depression, our son's suicide, my feelings of guilt, ways to change my thinking, or just insights into humanity, when needed, has been very useful. Some people think that if you get therapy you must be crazy or weak. I'm a poster child for counseling having its place. I only seem to need it occasionally, but when I need it, it's good to have. Last year, around the 10th anniversary of our son's suicide, counseling was important and extremely worthwhile.
2. My best asset has been a wonderful, supportive spouse that senses when the depression hits, doesn't think I'm "crazy or weak," and gives me space or extra love as needed. I'm sure it's hard for her to tell which I need, but she does a great job once she understands. I have to be man enough to admit my need from time to time, and to accept help. At the same time, I can't be a constant drain on her, or others around me. They have lives and needs, too. Balance is needed.
3. Another good thing is open discussion with others from time to time. It actually helps me to counsel others about how to deal with depression. I remember to apply the things I tell others to myself a little better. This can be with family, or friends/acquaintances who express interest in the topic. Sometimes it's actually better with acquaintances than with family as it is more likely to be about their needs and less about mine. Getting outside oneself and helping someone else is a great thing for depression.
4. Regular exercise. This can be extremely difficult to do - when you're depressed you don't want to do anything, least of all things that aren't "fun". I find having a regular schedule for exercise is best. I can sometimes keep up with a routine during the first phases of an oncoming episode of depression, but if I wait until the depression hits, I rarely have enough desire to get over the inertia.
5. Forgiving myself and letting me be me. Guilt over the suicide, over not being who I should be, over things I should or shouldn't have done in the past, or just pressure to be more perfect can easily trigger depression. There has to be a balance between loving oneself and the desire to be better. You can't just give up and not do anything - that will lead to more depression down the road - but you can't feel too guilty or pressured to the point where you just can't take it. I need to be the best me I can be, and accept myself for who I am. Balance, again.
6. Service to others. As with point #3, above, getting away from ones own needs and helping someone else can have an immediate and sometimes lasting effect. This can be hard to do when the depression is worst, though. And having someone push me to do something is often very counterproductive. I have to choose it, myself, to be good for my depression. But helping someone paint a house, tile a floor, deal with problems, wash a car, shovel snow off a walk - anything! - is good for the soul.
6. Medication when it's needed. I've done a lot of study on the topic and I'm convinced that it's not all in my head. I'm not crazy, I'm not weak; there's a chemical imbalance going on that sometimes needs some help to be corrected. Taking meds is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of intelligence.
7. Diet. Some foods are clearly not good for my depression, and I don't feel as good about myself when I let myself go and eat anything I want. As with exercise, this can be hard when depressed. Comfort food is, well, comforting. Diving into comfort foods to the exclusion of being healthy is counterproductive for me. Again, it's a balance.
Again, the hope is that something here might be of use with your depression. I wish you the best. I'm open to talk, anytime. I decided long ago to admit to the depression if it will ever be of help to someone else. Send me a PM if you want to discuss.
Greg.
Hi Donnie. I'm new to the board and I might not respond the right way. I have some history with depression and can address that a little. I hope it's useful. The depression you're feeling might not be totally due to the situation of the moment. You may have some depressive tendencies that have just never surfaced before. Or it may be a short term thing related to stress, libido, and the ticket. Either way it might be something you should deal with directly.
I'm going to share my ongoing battle with depression and hope there might be some nuggets of information that could be useful to you. I'm sorry if this is too personal. Use or toss this post as you see fit.
____________________________________
I've been diagnosed twice with severe depression and I've had to deal with some amount of depression many times. I've occasionally been on meds and or had counseling from time to time. Both have helped.
My children all have depressive tendencies, as well. We lost our second child to suicide at age 28. Depression was definitely a factor in his suicide and I'm often depressed about his depression and fearful that another child will do the same thing. It can be vicious. Anxiety about their anxiety and depression about their depression. Ugh.
There are lots of things that can cause depression, and lots of things that can help. Everyone is different, and the things that help me might not be useful to you, but these things seem to help me the most:
1. Counseling. Professional counseling about my depression, our son's suicide, my feelings of guilt, ways to change my thinking, or just insights into humanity, when needed, has been very useful. Some people think that if you get therapy you must be crazy or weak. I'm a poster child for counseling having its place. I only seem to need it occasionally, but when I need it, it's good to have. Last year, around the 10th anniversary of our son's suicide, counseling was important and extremely worthwhile.
2. My best asset has been a wonderful, supportive spouse that senses when the depression hits, doesn't think I'm "crazy or weak," and gives me space or extra love as needed. I'm sure it's hard for her to tell which I need, but she does a great job once she understands. I have to be man enough to admit my need from time to time, and to accept help. At the same time, I can't be a constant drain on her, or others around me. They have lives and needs, too. Balance is needed.
3. Another good thing is open discussion with others from time to time. It actually helps me to counsel others about how to deal with depression. I remember to apply the things I tell others to myself a little better. This can be with family, or friends/acquaintances who express interest in the topic. Sometimes it's actually better with acquaintances than with family as it is more likely to be about their needs and less about mine. Getting outside oneself and helping someone else is a great thing for depression.
4. Regular exercise. This can be extremely difficult to do - when you're depressed you don't want to do anything, least of all things that aren't "fun". I find having a regular schedule for exercise is best. I can sometimes keep up with a routine during the first phases of an oncoming episode of depression, but if I wait until the depression hits, I rarely have enough desire to get over the inertia.
5. Forgiving myself and letting me be me. Guilt over the suicide, over not being who I should be, over things I should or shouldn't have done in the past, or just pressure to be more perfect can easily trigger depression. There has to be a balance between loving oneself and the desire to be better. You can't just give up and not do anything - that will lead to more depression down the road - but you can't feel too guilty or pressured to the point where you just can't take it. I need to be the best me I can be, and accept myself for who I am. Balance, again.
6. Service to others. As with point #3, above, getting away from ones own needs and helping someone else can have an immediate and sometimes lasting effect. This can be hard to do when the depression is worst, though. And having someone push me to do something is often very counterproductive. I have to choose it, myself, to be good for my depression. But helping someone paint a house, tile a floor, deal with problems, wash a car, shovel snow off a walk - anything! - is good for the soul.
6. Medication when it's needed. I've done a lot of study on the topic and I'm convinced that it's not all in my head. I'm not crazy, I'm not weak; there's a chemical imbalance going on that sometimes needs some help to be corrected. Taking meds is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of intelligence.
7. Diet. Some foods are clearly not good for my depression, and I don't feel as good about myself when I let myself go and eat anything I want. As with exercise, this can be hard when depressed. Comfort food is, well, comforting. Diving into comfort foods to the exclusion of being healthy is counterproductive for me. Again, it's a balance.
Again, the hope is that something here might be of use with your depression. I wish you the best. I'm open to talk, anytime. I decided long ago to admit to the depression if it will ever be of help to someone else. Send me a PM if you want to discuss.
Greg.
Last edited by Quincy on Sun Feb 25, 2018 2:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
71, Boise area, Married
ED from type 2 diabetes and PCa radiation.
AMS LGX surgery 6/5/18 with Edward Karpman in Silicon Valley, 18cm+3RTE
ED from type 2 diabetes and PCa radiation.
AMS LGX surgery 6/5/18 with Edward Karpman in Silicon Valley, 18cm+3RTE
-
Larry10625
Re: ED and depression.
ddbryan1972 wrote:Let me start by saying that being able to fuck is not my concern since I am happily bionic. Right now my problem is having the desire for sex. Depression plays a cruel role in lack of libido. I am greatly depressed over my present situation. When I retired from Disney, I finally bought a 2017 KIA Forte. It rides like a dream. Compared to my Saturn ION that shook you to death at 70mph, this dream is at 80 before I realize it. Hence the reason for my depression. I was on the interstate in the left lane driving along happily with the traffic flow. I wasn't aware that the flow was speeding up. Even if I had I couldn't get out as I was trapped in the flow. Drivers were alerted of a law enforcement vehicle ahead and promptly left leaving me to drive past the officer. You guessed it I was ticketed and charged with 91 in a 70. In Ga.that is considered a super speeder and carries a hefty fine and a guaranteed increase in insurance rates. My wife is in bad health so I have decided not to give her this awesome news but to carry it myself. I Haven had a violation in 20 years and hopefully the judge will be compassionate. But worrying about it has caused this deep depression. I am thankful that I can share this with my brothers here at Frank Talk. Please any advice, prayers, and encouragement would be appreciated. I hate feeling like this but this situation has killed my libido. Just because your dick works every time doesn't stop depression from fucking things up.
Your bionic brother
Donnie
Hey buddy... I agree, get yourself one of those traffic ticket specialists. I am pretty sure that 20 k/hr is the speed where the fine really matters and many crown prosecutors are willing to make deals. Don't freak yourself out about it, that won't help. Do you not think that your wife will catch on, especially if she senses that there is something wrong with you??? Cheer up and tell your wife... I think if she finds out and you kept it from her, it could be worse.
Larry
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radioradio
- Posts: 1012
- Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2016 2:44 pm
- Location: Philly Burbs
Re: ED and depression.
Donnie,
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling the way you are now, but I totally get it. Quincy's post is full of good insight.
I know we have both had great tragedy in our lives and a sorrow that will never end. Because of this, sometimes my depression can really get going again over things that probably are not worth worrying about. And sometimes I can draw strength from the knowledge that if I made it through the tragedy with my mind and heart eventually healed, I can make it through whatever else life decides to throw my way.
I hope you can find the strength you need to put this episode behind you and get your mojo back.
Also good advice from the others re the legal aspect -- get a lawyer. Even if it costs you a fair amount, like anything else, it's better to have one and not need it than need one and not have it. They know the official -- and unofficial -- rules to the game you're now in.
I hope it helps you to know that all of us on FT are pulling for you.
Bob
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling the way you are now, but I totally get it. Quincy's post is full of good insight.
I know we have both had great tragedy in our lives and a sorrow that will never end. Because of this, sometimes my depression can really get going again over things that probably are not worth worrying about. And sometimes I can draw strength from the knowledge that if I made it through the tragedy with my mind and heart eventually healed, I can make it through whatever else life decides to throw my way.
I hope you can find the strength you need to put this episode behind you and get your mojo back.
Also good advice from the others re the legal aspect -- get a lawyer. Even if it costs you a fair amount, like anything else, it's better to have one and not need it than need one and not have it. They know the official -- and unofficial -- rules to the game you're now in.
I hope it helps you to know that all of us on FT are pulling for you.
Bob
Born '52. Married '79. RALP 3/1/17. ED 50+% prior to surgery even w/ meds. VED, Injections, ineffective. Considering implant even before PCa diagnosis. Dr. Kramer 8/2/17. LGX 21cm+0.5 RTE. Kramer replaced/repositioned pump 12/13/17. Willing to Show/Tell.
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radioradio
- Posts: 1012
- Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2016 2:44 pm
- Location: Philly Burbs
Re: ED and depression.
Quincy,
Thanks for your reply to Donnie.
My story is so much like yours -- depression, loss of our middle son to suicide (7 years ago, he was 29), anxiety, guilt, counseling, medications, the whole ball of wax.
Your comments and advice to Donnie were excellent, and applicable to all of us.
I'm sorry for your loss, and happy you are fighting the good fight.
Bob
Thanks for your reply to Donnie.
My story is so much like yours -- depression, loss of our middle son to suicide (7 years ago, he was 29), anxiety, guilt, counseling, medications, the whole ball of wax.
Your comments and advice to Donnie were excellent, and applicable to all of us.
I'm sorry for your loss, and happy you are fighting the good fight.
Bob
Born '52. Married '79. RALP 3/1/17. ED 50+% prior to surgery even w/ meds. VED, Injections, ineffective. Considering implant even before PCa diagnosis. Dr. Kramer 8/2/17. LGX 21cm+0.5 RTE. Kramer replaced/repositioned pump 12/13/17. Willing to Show/Tell.
-
dtwarren1942
- Posts: 1909
- Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:58 pm
- Location: Jersey Shore
Re: ED and depression.
In my state, you always get to court early and the prosecuted is usually there and often let’s you plead guilty to a lesser charge, say under 20 over limit.
In any case, look at it as a minor set back which will work its way out over time. I just saw a blurb on tv that to reduce depression, you need to give yourself 20 minutes of me time a day to think about all the positive things happening in your life.
In any case, look at it as a minor set back which will work its way out over time. I just saw a blurb on tv that to reduce depression, you need to give yourself 20 minutes of me time a day to think about all the positive things happening in your life.
Age 81
Diabetic
Pumping
Started Trimix injections 8/'11
Diabetic
Pumping
Started Trimix injections 8/'11
Re: ED and depression.
@radioradio: Thanks Bob. Sorry you had to go through that, too. Willing to talk if you ever need.
@dtwarren and Donnie. Good idea about spending time every day thinking about positive things happening in your life. I'm going to try that myself when the depression hits.
Greg.
@dtwarren and Donnie. Good idea about spending time every day thinking about positive things happening in your life. I'm going to try that myself when the depression hits.
Greg.
71, Boise area, Married
ED from type 2 diabetes and PCa radiation.
AMS LGX surgery 6/5/18 with Edward Karpman in Silicon Valley, 18cm+3RTE
ED from type 2 diabetes and PCa radiation.
AMS LGX surgery 6/5/18 with Edward Karpman in Silicon Valley, 18cm+3RTE
Re: ED and depression.
Everybody makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Judges know that. With your clean record, you’ll be fine.
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Donnie1954
- Posts: 2518
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 9:04 pm
- Contact:
Re: ED and depression.
I love my Frank Talk brothers. Thanks so much for your support and encouragement. You guys are awesome. My prayers to all of you who have lost a child. I feel your pain. My Joey was 9. There are a few assholes but overall you're the greatest.
Thanks,
Donnie
Thanks,
Donnie
Implant AMS 700 CX, MS (18cm x 12mm with 5.5cm RTEs) on 10\4\16. 64 Dr. Edward Kata of Orlando. Awesome surgeon. Check out, 'DD Bryan. My implant journey, Wit and Wisdom, Stretching routine, Implant Pics, Natural Hang. Live in Ga.
.
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