Vanilla wife.

[newtoed]

I don’t think most women are as orgasm oriented as we are. A man cannot imagine sex without finishing. Would drive us crazy. Most women are ok with that.

During my first marriage sex became vanilla too. After we divorced she dated this guy and I know she enjoyed all kinds of crazy stuff with him and fucked and sucked his brains out. Good for her and so did I have been enjoying sex much more since then.

So the question is: does something happen to us in a long term sexual relationship physiologically or we just get bored and complacent. I think the second, because in a new relationship we’d get super excited again at least for a while.

I have a girl I see regularly on every weekend. She is super orgasmic, but doesn’t seem like sex itself is super important to her, because she never initiates. We make sure we mix it up. She dresses up in all kinds of outfits and we role play a lot. She is half my age and likes me to be her professor so I bought some clothes and rulers and play the role. Otherwise she is super intelligent, going to graduate school and has a bright career infront of her.

I don’t have the answer how to turn vanilla sex into something more exciting, but I know giving her orgasms is not everything. We have to fuck the woman’s mind more than just her pussy. Whether is to tell her nice things, getting her flowers and shiny things or cook her a meal, being elegant and stylish all the time. They check out handsome men on tv, in public all the time like we do. Being romantic or aggressive other times. But it has to start that way from the beginning and consciously maintained.

[SCCountryboy]

Hey, you guys are so daggone lucky. My wife is so vanilla it's straight missionary position and that's it. She won't come near my dick with her mouth. I have never in 40 something years of marriage got her to come near my dick with her mouth. I just keep hoping one day maybe one day I will get a one from her!

[Larry10625]

I don’t think most women are as orgasm oriented as we are. A man cannot imagine sex without finishing. Would drive us crazy. Most women are ok with that.

During my first marriage sex became vanilla too. After we divorced she dated this guy and I know she enjoyed all kinds of crazy stuff with him and fucked and sucked his brains out. Good for her and so did I have been enjoying sex much more since then.

So the question is: does something happen to us in a long term sexual relationship physiologically or we just get bored and complacent. I think the second, because in a new relationship we’d get super excited again at least for a while.

I have a girl I see regularly on every weekend. She is super orgasmic, but doesn’t seem like sex itself is super important to her, because she never initiates. We make sure we mix it up. She dresses up in all kinds of outfits and we role play a lot. She is half my age and likes me to be her professor so I bought some clothes and rulers and play the role. Otherwise she is super intelligent, going to graduate school and has a bright career infront of her.

I don’t have the answer how to turn vanilla sex into something more exciting, but I know giving her orgasms is not everything. We have to fuck the woman’s mind more than just her pussy. Whether is to tell her nice things, getting her flowers and shiny things or cook her a meal, being elegant and stylish all the time. They check out handsome men on tv, in public all the time like we do. Being romantic or aggressive other times. But it has to start that way from the beginning and consciously maintained.

Good morning newtoed;
In my humble opinion, I think you need to sit down with your partner and have a very serious, heart to heart talk with her to find out if your suspicions are correct. You may find out that she wants something you haven't tried on her or she wants to try something on you. The mere fact that she is into role playing kind of leads me to believe that she is very much into sex. You say that she is half your age... I don't think I have ever met a girl in her twenties who wasn't hornier than a three puckered billy goat. I think if you have that talk it will finish by her wearing you out.

Larry

[Reggieman]

I believe some women are just not into sex. They engage when the relationship is new but then fade out as the newness wears off. It may be that their testosterone is lower than average, cultural restrictions, mama's advice as to what is a "bad" girl or dissatisfaction in the relationship. Many men will fuck no matter what mood they are in but many women, if not all, have to be in that very narrow "zone" mentally or it's a no go.In my hundreds of conversations with my wife about sex I have come to believe her concept of sex is totally different than what it is to most men.

There is an Australian lady sex therapist whose videos I've watch who describes two types of women. The first are "saucy ripe tomatoes" who are up for sex and need little coaxing. They others are referred to as "damp wood" who require lots of persuasion, warming up, etc.to get their fire started. The latter require a lot of work to get in bed. Often they can't seem to get self started, never think about sex on their own and may or may not enjoy sex once in bed. Many if not most enjoy sex once they are warmed up.

My wife is not a self-starter but once in bed and foreplay begins she will finish with terrific orgasms. Once the orgasm is over it's like sex never happened and her mind is back to other things. She can go for months without sex and when asked cannot recall how long since the last time she had sex. "Two weeks, three weeks, oh it can't have been two months, really?"

The latter remind of a story told by a Hub Zemke a fighter pilot/ace in WWII. He was assigned the task of overseeing the transfer of P-40 fighters to Northern Russia. He guided the Russian troops in assembling the boxed planes. It was cold and they had no heaters to keep the engine oil warm so the planes could be started. So, hours before each flight the ground crew would build fires on the ground under the plane's engine to warm the oil. In the sub-zero weather it took some time but finally the engine could be started.

Some women just don't come with pre-heaters.

[QuestionGuy]

There are men that women "make rules for" and there are men "women break rules for". No one should have to do something harmful or bizarre or way out of their comfort zone, but if there is something that they easily did with some thug they met in a nightclub, years before you were married....... and now cant/wont do it with you , its time to kick them to the curb and see how they like spinsterhood. Every major religion sees sex as a non-optional activity and the psychiatric community now officially considers withholding sex as a form of abuse. I don't like to go to work every morning, but I do it, because its expected of me and its the right thing to do. What do you suppose would happen if I called in sick for 10 or 20 days in a row?

[FreddyFree]

I think having sex because some religion forces you to, would be very unsatisfying.

[QuestionGuy]

FreddyFree: i think your missing my point. All religions are wrong for the same reasons, but frequently pious people use religion to somehow reinforce their asexual or anti-sexual positions, and in this post some of the gals religious backgrounds are referenced. I'm pointing out that EVEN RELIGION doesn't condone withholding sex in a marriage.

[FreddyFree]

I think your missing my point.

My point is, any sex that is somehow an “obligation” would be undesirable.

[Lost Sheep]

I think having sex because some religion forces you to, would be very unsatisfying.

Or in (or only in) a manner prescribed by any (not just a religion) organization, committee or person not involved in the activity. ("You don't play the game, you don't make the rules.")

[FreddyFree]

I don't like to go to work every morning, but I do it, because its expected of me and its the right thing to do. What do you suppose would happen if I called in sick for 10 or 20 days in a row?

You get paid to work.

Are you talking about prostitution?