wife (she turns 60 this year) no longer likes sex -- it hurts (so getting an implant was a waste--maybe ?)

[DougAnd]

I can really relate to the self worth aspect of the implant. I think that's what bothers me the most about being crooked. It's definitely psychological because it's not at all a functional problem. At work of course I don't notice it until I use the bathroom. Not much I can do there. But at home I find myself about 20 to 30% pumped just to keep me straight.

[tomas1]

My wife has always enjoyed sex, but in later years she has no shuddering orgasms. I can tell when she has a mini-orgasm as I call them.

I guess it's fine.
My fear now is after laying off sex for maybe 4 months, she will have lost interest.
I don't think that'll happen.

Does KY Love or stuff like that work?

[DougAnd]

I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that most of us guys you have a wife that has gone through MP and is not taking hormone supplements are facing the same situation. I should have gotten T shots and had an implant 30 years ago. Hindsight is 20/20. At my age it almost seems like it's wasted. For decades I had low T and a job that consumed my life. so my wife suffered. the housing bubble burst and I had to change jobs. 5 years ago I started getting T pellets hoping to fix things. Meanwhile my ED just got worse and worse and worse. We were both convinced it was psychological. Now she's glad to have gotten relief from MP. last year we found out that it was not psychological and that all these years I had a physical problem. so I got an implant. But it will take time for us both to heal from the psychological damage that this disease has caused. I love my wife too much to add to that. she means too much to me. I will be patient for the rest of my life if that's what it takes. I'm just getting a little taste at what she's gone through for decades.

[SW0110]

I think if I ever told my wife we had to have sex to fulfill a marital vow, I would wake up one day without a penis. For me. If I did it for that reason as well, I would get no satisfaction either. When things worked we just normally enjoyed ourselves. She is lucky I guess in being able to orgasm from penetration, as well as from, hand, mouth, toys, etc. About half the time I would not even orgasm. I just enjoyed wearing her out after an hour or so.

Her issue with me really started with my ed. Could not stay hard long, wanted to get right to it, few positions worked, etc. What would go through any womans mind. I was getting it somewhere else. Did not find her attractive anymore, etc. She felt more settled as I did when I had someone test and I have the leak. Peyronies was obvious. Then her health issues started. Life can be a bitch.

Married 39 years so we definitely had issues at times. For me I do not want to spend my retirement with someone else. We do, however discuss things, as we have before, sex is a big deal. We are 57. For her I know it is more mental. Right now she does not feel sexy with most of her hair gone, she cannot open her mouth to hardly kiss, let alone perform oral, and no way she would want to even think about having an orgasm and resulting increased blood flow to her head.

When these health issues get behind us, I am not sure how I would react to her telling me she does not want to have sex anymore. I have to say that would be a really tough one. I really enjoy it and for sure know i could not live without it. Hope i do not have to make that one and feel for those of you who have to.

[dg_moore]

...I really enjoy it and for sure know i could not live without it. Hope i do not have to make that one and feel for those of you who have to.

I can assure you that you actually can live, and happily, without it. Many of us do, and must, for lots of reasons

[David_Webb]

Once again I can’t count on FT to have some insight to a issue I’m struggling with about sex.

I’m dealing with a similar situation with my GF not interested in sex. We have been together for 3 years and was with me prior to implant so I feel she has helped me immensely on the process and recovery. We talk and are trying to make improvements but I’m like a kid with a new toy that wants to play all time. Right now I’m lucky to have intimacy a couple times a month but would like to be closer to a couple times a day. I try and seduce her every day with little compliments and touch that lets her know I want to be intimate but it rarely works.

Back in the day I had a couple GF’s that were submissive by nature and would role play and really get into the “naughty girl” sexpot mode daily and it was really special. I find myself looking to try and bring that out in my current GF but she is less than enthusiastic and doesn’t seem to have that vixen playfulness. I feel like she does have sex just to get me to leave her alone instead of for her own satisfaction. Everything else in the relationship is great but this has me dreaming about past GF’s and that wanted sexual appetite that makes intimacy more enjoyable.

Further skewing my expectations was about a 5-10 year stint that I was single and using pills with upscale professionals that were playing the role even though my performance was not on par with my new bionic abilities.

I feel I need to try and work things out with my current GF as she stayed with me before the implant and I was incapable of satisfying her sexually. Next step for us will likely be couples counseling to try and work through this and fix the chemistry. I feel it’s only fair she stuck by me with my ED that I be supportive of her issues with libido.

On a positive note I did read about a toy called the womanizer on here that has been a huge help when we do have sexy time. Great toy and only $100 on Amazon.

[Lost Sheep]

Once again I can’t count on FT to have some insight to a issue I’m struggling with about sex.

I’m dealing with a similar situation with my GF not interested in sex.

Was she EVER interested in sex.

I know this might be a dismal thought, but perhaps part of her affection for you was the lack of sexual (particularly coital) activities. If so, she may not see her lack of libido as anywhere near comparable to how you saw your lack of erectile ability. If she feels "pushed" into curing a problem she does not think she has, she may not like it much. I would suggest you explore that question before you start trying to "cure" her. If she is not on board, that might be a recipe for disaster.

I will give you the good news later. I have a pipe freezing situation here and have to go address it.

[David_Webb]

Once again I can’t count on FT to have some insight to a issue I’m struggling with about sex.

I’m dealing with a similar situation with my GF not interested in sex.

Was she EVER interested in sex.

I know this might be a dismal thought, but perhaps part of her affection for you was the lack of sexual (particularly coital) activities. If so, she may not see her lack of libido as anywhere near comparable to how you saw your lack of erectile ability. If she feels "pushed" into curing a problem she does not think she has, she may not like it much. I would suggest you explore that question before you start trying to "cure" her. If she is not on board, that might be a recipe for disaster.

I will give you the good news later. I have a pipe freezing situation here and have to go address it.

We talked about her libido and she thinks it’s partially due to her birth control (IUD) releasing chemicals that kills her sex drive. I just had a vasectomy a month ago so she can take out the IUD when my doc confirms I’m shooting blanks and my pipes are clear.

She had a child at 16 and made that child her sole focus resulting in her sacrificing a lot of her younger years and not being sexually active all that much. She says she wants to change and enjoys intimacy but she just doesn’t have the urge.

Good luck with the pipes... this polar vortex BS can move along...

[Larry10625]

Once again I can’t count on FT to have some insight to a issue I’m struggling with about sex.

I’m dealing with a similar situation with my GF not interested in sex.

Was she EVER interested in sex.

I know this might be a dismal thought, but perhaps part of her affection for you was the lack of sexual (particularly coital) activities. If so, she may not see her lack of libido as anywhere near comparable to how you saw your lack of erectile ability. If she feels "pushed" into curing a problem she does not think she has, she may not like it much. I would suggest you explore that question before you start trying to "cure" her. If she is not on board, that might be a recipe for disaster.

I will give you the good news later. I have a pipe freezing situation here and have to go address it.

Good luck with your pipes... I hope it's not a disaster for you.

Larry

[Larry10625]

Once again I can’t count on FT to have some insight to a issue I’m struggling with about sex.

I’m dealing with a similar situation with my GF not interested in sex.

Was she EVER interested in sex.

I know this might be a dismal thought, but perhaps part of her affection for you was the lack of sexual (particularly coital) activities. If so, she may not see her lack of libido as anywhere near comparable to how you saw your lack of erectile ability. If she feels "pushed" into curing a problem she does not think she has, she may not like it much. I would suggest you explore that question before you start trying to "cure" her. If she is not on board, that might be a recipe for disaster.

I will give you the good news later. I have a pipe freezing situation here and have to go address it.

We talked about her libido and she thinks it’s partially due to her birth control (IUD) releasing chemicals that kills her sex drive. I just had a vasectomy a month ago so she can take out the IUD when my doc confirms I’m shooting blanks and my pipes are clear.

She had a child at 16 and made that child her sole focus resulting in her sacrificing a lot of her younger years and not being sexually active all that much. She says she wants to change and enjoys intimacy but she just doesn’t have the urge.

Good luck with the pipes... this polar vortex BS can move along...

I get that but, sometimes, we have to do for others and not just ourselves...

Larry