What makes for a long, happy marriage/relationship?

[antelope]

There are two areas of tension in a marriage: money and sex. And the stress is a result of there not being enough of one or both. It's a simple as that. Everything else fades away when those two abound.

[oldbeek]

Don't ask me. Been married 56 years. Had good sex up to 72 years old. Worked hard all my life and have a very comfortable retirement. Then came prostate cancer. Doc removed all my nerves and left me with a shriveled shrinking dick. I wanted an implant but wife said I had enough sex in my life and it was time to give it up. Mentally I was devastated. I got an implant for myself. Now my wife says my bionic dick is disgusting. She hates sex now. Prior to cancer she stopped kissing also. got weird about sharing even a fork or spoon eating ice cream. I work hard at keeping her happy but she wakes in the morning finding fault in whatever I do. I am young at heart and want to enjoy life and she is waiting to die.

[Charlie2019]

The original question has been answered adequately. I'd like to possibly vent just a bit. I'd like to punch the person who gave my wife a book called The Five Love Languages. She devoured it and possibly memorized its contents. Unfortunately for me, my wife strongly identified her love language as Service, meaning that she feels most loved when I am of service to her. I asked her how that was supposed to work. She told me I could do housework without being prodded, dishes, laundry, volunteer to grocery shop and a myriad of other things. She became relentless and adamant about it and insisted I read the book. I pointed out to her that she has ALWAYS, from the inception of our marriage 40 years ago, done all those things and rarely ever asked me to do it. Turns out, during all these years I should've been clairvoyant and known she wanted me to help. Problem is, I learned a long time ago I don't do things the way her mother taught her to do them and lots of times was summarily dismissed from the chore I was helping with. None of this was a problem until that damn book appeared with examples of how other women have great guys she has missed out on!! So, my advice might be to get that book and memorize all 5 languages and apply the one that gets the best response from your potential mate. Another bit of advice for a long lasting marriage like mine is learning to adapt, as in the way I have by waiting for all this to blow over (it mostly has).

An old friend recently contacted me since he moved to the Phillipines to stretch his retirement income. He's my age and sent a pic of his 27 year old wife. He said lots of old American guys are there for the young women who want old guys as mates. I told him I'd be right down if my wife ever tossed me out. He replied that after 40 years I'd probably be lost without her and unable to function. He's right. My last bit of advice is, based on my experience, sometimes it just works because it does. Despite the issues it just goes on because you're meant to be together. Take from these ramblings what you will.

Don't take the bait... We have been married 30 years and I do ALL the household chores, because I am home on disability, I get sex maybe once a month and then, sometimes when I finally get it, she just lies there like a zucchini.

[Charlie2019]

Don't ask me. Been married 66 years. Had good sex up to 72 years old. Worked hard all my life and have a very comfortable retirement. Then came prostate cancer. Doc removed all my nerves and left me with a shriveled shrinking dick. I wanted an implant but wife said I had enough sex in my life and it was time to give it up. Mentally I was devastated. I got an implant for myself. Now my wife says my bionic dick is disgusting. She hates sex now. Prior to cancer she stopped kissing also. got weird about sharing even a fork or spoon eating ice cream. I work hard at keeping her happy but she wakes in the morning finding fault in whatever I do. I am young at heart and want to enjoy life and she is waiting to die.

There is no way in hell that there would be a 67th year... fuck that...

[Charlie2019]

There are two areas of tension in a marriage: money and sex. And the stress is a result of there not being enough of one or both. It's a simple as that. Everything else fades away when those two abound.

I hear ya brother

[dg_moore]

There are two areas of tension in a marriage: money and sex. And the stress is a result of there not being enough of one or both. It's a simple as that. Everything else fades away when those two abound.

I hear ya brother

Our sex life ended over 15 years ago and we have been fine. I recently asked my wife if she missed our sex life and she said Oh lord no. I don't miss it either. It was good while it lasted and now the idea doesn't even appeal, but life goes on, and nothing is forever.

[Old Guy]

Some of you guys are funny. After 32 years of marriage, and a couple living together before saying "I do", I think the key to a long and happy marriage is just being yourself and let the wife be herself. As a human we all change over the years, either from aging, learning or just life experiences. The main thing is don't try or expect your partner to change to what you want, as much as that would be ideal.
Yea sex and money can play a part. Money is kind of set, you are either in good or dealing with a week to week paycheck situation. Only one way to change that and that's learning & education. At 37 I went back to college and earned a degree so we didn't have to do the week to week stretch the paycheck thing. On the other hand sex is something that can and will change over the years, from good to maybe to none possibly. Most new couples will have sex multiple times a week when they are younger and first get under the sheets. Then work, kids & life come into play. As much as my libido still runs pretty high, the wife has been slowing down. I don't bitch at her too much, but sometimes when I get real horny my mood will turn sour. She knows, and almost always responds. If not there's my toys.

[notaes]

I agree with a great deal of what Oldguy had said. We all need to give our life partners room to be themselves without bitching or being critical. I enjoy being myself without my wife gripping at me about something trivial. I am almost 68 yrs old myself and my wife and I still enjoy the best sex ever 3-4 times per week. It is unbelieveable how great the sex is and I think it most be the fact that we are committed to one another. We also know that neither of us are going anywhere. We really do love each other and strive to make our marriage better each week we live.
My libido is also very high! Im not sure what to attribute it to but i have always been a guy that loves to hit the sheets quite a bit. My wife takes care of me and she knows i love her and only her. She is one hell of a woman that looks so much younger. She has it all. Legs, butt, boobs and a beautiful face. I am so lucky to have her in my life. I cant get enough of her.

[Charlie2019]

I agree with a great deal of what Oldguy had said. We all need to give our life partners room to be themselves without bitching or being critical. I enjoy being myself without my wife gripping at me about something trivial. I am almost 68 yrs old myself and my wife and I still enjoy the best sex ever 3-4 times per week. It is unbelieveable how great the sex is and I think it most be the fact that we are committed to one another. We also know that neither of us are going anywhere. We really do love each other and strive to make our marriage better each week we live.
My libido is also very high! Im not sure what to attribute it to but i have always been a guy that loves to hit the sheets quite a bit. My wife takes care of me and she knows i love her and only her. She is one hell of a woman that looks so much younger. She has it all. Legs, butt, boobs and a beautiful face. I am so lucky to have her in my life. I cant get enough of her.

So, imagine if your sex life just stopped or went to once a month....

[Charlie2019]

There are two areas of tension in a marriage: money and sex. And the stress is a result of there not being enough of one or both. It's a simple as that. Everything else fades away when those two abound.

I hear ya brother

Our sex life ended over 15 years ago and we have been fine. I recently asked my wife if she missed our sex life and she said Oh lord no. I don't miss it either. It was good while it lasted and now the idea doesn't even appeal, but life goes on, and nothing is forever.

30 years ago I did not know that in 30 years time my sex life would almost STOP and even when I get it, she just lays there. You seem to have ZERO libido... maybe your testosterone level is at zero...