Known Causes of Anorgasmia

[Stew52]

. . . And I'm wondering out loud how much DE has to do with a "tight hole". DE seems an affliction more in older gents with older women who may have bore children and are a bit boggy now maybe? Has anyone done any anecdotal study on a tight versus a boggy receptacles?

This was not meant to disparage our wonderful older women, wives and girlfriends, in any way. Married here 48 yrs. Glad to see that many or most are still wanting a great experience. They so know what they want now and how to get it. But after having kids and, getting drilled a thousand times, and age, things stretch. We do too, witness ED and DE/anorgasmia. Just wondering if this makes a difference for those who also experience tighter things.

[Up4Real?]

Just call me naive, but I / we have experienced the opposite effect. With the aid of me using a VED my wife finds sex very uncomfortable..... “too big”. On the recommendation of urologist, she uses esterase to help compensate for the loss of elasticity. So far no success. We are both 73years old. Any suggestions?

[Martin6469]

In my single days I met a real 40-year-old virgin! She wanted to start her sex life, so we did but she had vaginismus (pain on penetration due to nervousness) after the first time. So I gave her a set of dildoes I picked out from a sex toy store, of various sizes, the "medium" size being my size, and told her to masturbate at home with the thinnest one first, while fantasizing that it's me (or anyone else who comes to mind), and slowly work up in size over weeks or months.

[Stew52]

Just call me naive, but I / we have experienced the opposite effect. With the aid of me using a VED my wife finds sex very uncomfortable..... “too big”. On the recommendation of urologist, she uses esterase to help compensate for the loss of elasticity. So far no success. We are both 73years old. Any suggestions?

Cant win!! My lady is a bit big (and used to be very, very wet) and that with occasional small touch of PE was problematic. But now after 3 1/2 years of injections and some mild VED, it has helped the girth immensely. It is very "full"-filling now (pun intended).

But the age and/or PGE is causing DE now and I've tried a silicone ring to eliminate the PGE, but the unit gets too big (especially he head) and too hard and is very unpleasant for my lady. She actually prefers it at 90%. So I use it intermittently. The injection always works but no ejaculation. Can't win. Keep on experimenting and testing, it's frustrating and fun. Just finish off well.

[Stew52]

I'd mentioned above that I had a Uro appt upcoming to discuss DE.

First is was a quite superficial even though the PA was the practice's dysfunction expert. But he was earnest. A brief ED/DE history overview, followed by a description of the DE onset.

Did not discuss or question any drug taking (Rx. OTC or recreational) that might have caused or contributed to DE now or in the past (causing damage). Saw in records from my normal Uro that I had marginal Low-T and was being treated to a goodl range,

A brief debrief here.
1. Suggested that good vaginal contact was important:
- suggested small maintenance dose of Cialis to promote penile infusion and growth (was doing this occasionally but now regularly with good benefit),
- did not mention VED and I did not bring it up (which I do moderately several times a week),
- suggested we try different positions to make better contact (doggy, lazy doggy, WOT which doesn't work for me unfortunately)
- suggested partner try inserting a finger in front over the clit and in to tighten contact up (my diameter is pretty ample)
2. Suggested that sufficient lube in an older woman was important (she's still pretty wet and I have a lot of precum), suggested coconut oil which was a big fail as it gets sticky and needs constant renewal; water lubes only (Ed. but beware of numbing agents in them like aloe, even in organic Astroglide)
3. I brought up possibility that TriMix may cause or exacerbate DE, he concurred with trying to reduce dose and try just PGE again, but had no real info.

So that's it. Thank God for FT. Thanks guys for your expertise. More later as the journey continues.

[DonDon]

A couple of questions from the peanut gallery.
1) Does the use of an implant lead to DE? I've gotten pretty rough with it and sometimes my penis gets sore enough to lay off for a few days. Most of my sensations for orgasm come from the head and it gets pretty sore sometimes.
2) Have read that those who have had the Chinese COVID virus are being noted as having more ED than the population. Could it also be causing anorgasmia as well? If it affects the nervous system, it might be a contributing factor.
Early on, almost a year ago, I believe I was one of the early virus victims. No one knew what it was and we got over it and recovered, or so we thought. Over this year, I can document 5 or 6 symptoms that I and my wife both had for over a week each that are now recognized as true COVID symptoms. Now I am experiencing total anorgasmia. Nothing works. Since I am implanted, there's no problem with erections (inflations.) I have to stop intercourse because she had had several orgasms, maybe more than she wanted, and my continued thrusting is irritating her and not stimulating her. If she doesn't fall asleep from exhaustion, she will work on me by hand, but that doesn't work either. I don't see anything in the "Table of Known Causes" that we have changed in our lives. I am now avoiding sex because it leaves me horny, frustrated, restless, depressed, and not able to sleep if I fail to cum. I haven't had a good night's sleep in months. And she so enjoys me orgasming inside her.
So what about this virus?

[Reggieman]

Add Radical Prostatectomy as a reason for Anorgasmia.

[phallus]

I am currently taking dutasteride for hair loss and it should definitely be on that list, I haven't ejaculated in months.

yes, i'm also using this topically and it have increased the ejaculation time. Unfortunally, i can't quit it because i need my hair.

[Martin6469]

Try a thinner lube. The K-Y series (no aloe according to the ingredients list) give me the most glans sensation. (I did a little Internet research and found "pjur Light Silicone Lubricant" at goodvibrations.com, $35 + postage for 3.4oz. (100ml), and it is quite thin but it feels thick in the vagina! (Maybe an FT scientist can explain how this can happen!) Back to K-Y!

[Martin6469]

DonDon: I don't know about the Chinese virus, but after 30 years of a sexually satisfying marriage, I"m getting anorgasmia simply due to getting old. We switched to morning sex only, because we're also getting old-age insomnia and physical activity produces a wakefulness hormone. Also because I discovered that 2 or 3 NoDoz caffeine tablets sometimes helps me get across the finish line. I get some satisfaction from simply getting hard and thrusting, and she likes the thrusting feeling for ten minutes or so, and then tells me "OK, you should stop." So I stop if I don't feel like I can get to an orgasm, and I think to myself "this is better than nothing." (While I'm getting the Tri-Mix erection, I hold a larger-than-me dildo in her and she masturbates to an orgasm. I encourage her to imagine that it's a young, virile guy, so that she gets her strongest possible orgasm. The she rests a while before inviting me in, and she's nice and wet and shrunk down to my size.)

My wife is my age and the special nerve endings in her clit are as sensitive as ever. I assume that they're the same as those in mens' glans, so why ours are wearing out is a big mystery!

It's known that masturbation de-sensitizes the glans, so I stopped doing that.

I think some of the respectable Internet health sites like WebMD and www.sciencenews.org will have current Chinese flu neurological effects as they're discovered. Hopefully there will be remedies.