State of Mind Affecting ED and Orgasm

[tonyintoledo]

Here it is: What do you do/think/try to make sensations during IC (intercourse) better?

[Paul-Mod]

Tony
This is a good question. It can be deceptively hard to answer, cause it makes me think about what I do think about. There is the ever present fear - is it gonna work? Am I losing it? Am I gonna lose it? Part of the frustration of this whole experience is that it has changed our mindset in so many ways. It's hard to stop thinking of ourselves as medical patients and allow ourselves to get lost in the moment.
This is a good challenge to change the thought patterns.
Paul

[Thomas]

Although I still struggle in this department, there is one "lesson learned" for me that I can share. One of the "get hot" thoughts I always used prior to the RP was cuming inside my wife. When having IC after the operation I thought to myself that it still feels like you are cuming (the penis muscle contracting and pulsing), so I should just continue to focus on cuming inside her. Well, this turned out to be a disaster for me as this thought then led to others like the thought that I do not ejaculate anymore, which then led to ED thoughts, and the downward thought spiral would begin. Then I'd lose my erection.

I then read a posting on one of these sites where someone stated that the beginning of his "mental" recovery was when he started changing his thought patters to be about the feel of the orgasm rather than the act. I've tried this and it has helped me alot in both IC and "self service". Obviously, it takes time and patients. Changing your brain muscle (how you think) is one of the hardest tasks in the recovery process. But it's well worth the efforts.

...just a thought