Extreme concern and anxiety

[Al1962]

This for sure is life shattering.
I have spent times wishing I was not here but luckily there are times I still enjoy being here on this earth.
I had a time when I thought I had broken myself. I was in complete panic. Nothing I did could get it up. I even pretended to be sick so my wife would not expect any. I think My biggest issue was I was so afraid it would not work. Our minds can not overcome actual disfunction but our minds sure do screw with us when we are trying to figure things out. I hope you are ok.

[FroggyFresh21]

Hi all,

28 and going through extreme worry that I have Venous Leak and severe ed right now.
Currently using 5mg of cialis for sex.

I managed to have sex with my gf last week using ED and everytime bar one time they worked well, on one occasion so we'll I just flirted with my gf and stayed hard without her touching me for 15 minutes.

However, since that week I can't get hard, even by myself. The reason I took the pills is because the exact same thing was happening the week before we got together again (She works away alot)

Its like I can get hard with her but not on my own.

I can't even muster a semi by myself! Not sure if it's going to work with her again when she is back. Right now it feels like I have Venous Leak. I'm worried and don't know what to do!

Hey brother hang in there. You say you can't even get a hard on by yourself. Maybe it is because you are going in to it with an expectation and you have anxiety about that. When things don't work out for you your anxiety compounds and it gets even more difficult.

I think I read somewhere on this forum or maybe somewhere else that if you have performance anxiety(like myself) then your body could produce adrenaline. Adrenaline triggers the fight or flight response. When your in this mode the last thing you need is a hard on because your mind thinks it is fighting off a that.

So what I'm getting at is this. I found this in a book I bought called No more Mr nice guy. This is a great self help book by the way. In this book the author talks about what he calls healthy masturbation. He describes healthy masturbation and masturbating without any expectations. You should do it when you have time to be alone, without interruptions. Don't do it expecting anything. No hard on, no ejaculation. Just explore yourself. Close your eyes and find out what feels good. Use oils or lotion if you prefer. Clear your mind and RELAX. This is key. Just be with yourself for as long as it takes for you to get into a comfortable and relaxed state. Try this and let me know how you make out.