Postby AmansinCali » Mon Oct 10, 2022 11:18 pm
Gentlemen,
This is sort of an update to my previous post here, I have had implant surgery, today I am 3 weeks post-surgery and just had my first office visit since my implant. It looks as though we are halfway through the waiting period before I can test fly this sucker.
I went back to the beginning of this thread and re-read all of the posts. It disturbs me to hear of men being deprived of sex by their wives. In a way, I wish those wives could talk to my wife, she says sex is a part of being married. We all know it takes teamwork to make a marriage survive and even more to make it thrive, you both need to invest.
I don't know any of your wives, but it seems rational to me discussing all of this with your partner is the solution. I mentioned in my early post that my wife and I never, and I mean never discussed much about sex, but when I had to go on trimix just to be able to have penetrative sex it required quite a bit more communication and planning than we had ever had to do. I had to speak to her more honestly about sex than I had ever spoken to her before. Not that I hid anything from her, we weren't totally out of communication about sex, but nearly so, we just did it. This "frank talk" really opened up the topic for both of us, there was no great revelations or discoveries, but just undisguised "frank talk" which I think has drawn us together, closer sexually than we have ever been.
The other big effect on our communication was my bringing up things I learned here on Frank Talk. I had to learn about injections, explain the science of it to her, plus the scheduling required seemed to just draw us closer. There are a lot of very sad stories of good men on the site who are being deprived of sex by their own wives. I read or talked to her about many of these, and she has been just shocked that a married woman would treat their husbands so badly. She says, "It is just plain cruel."
People get awfully set in their ways as they age and some will never change no matter what, but I think opening up the conversation about sex is where it begins. I think all women know, but many don't admit it, that the sex needs of a man and a woman are totally different. I really think this is where the conversation should begin, not lecturing like she is a child, but simply bringing up why you have different needs than she has and go from there. Explain to her what makes you tick and why you have the sexual drive you have. Let her know you know she is almost opposite of what you are. Ask her, what she would do if you could change places, have her imagine having a cock and balls and for days at a time the only thing you can think about is getting laid, she won't understand it, but explain it is the way we are built, and you can't change it unless you are castrated. Well maybe that shouldn't be suggested. lol
Try to get her to talk about why she doesn't want to be intimate with you, have her put it in her words. Let her know it is the nicest thing she can do for you and hopefully, the more she tries to please you the chances are the more turned on she will get. Let her know you are in a partnership you love being in, and that's the point, you want to make love to her and show her how much you love her and sex is the best way for you to show it.
We also know as we age our women are aging too, so making love is different, more restrained, but it can be just as rewarding and maybe even more so than it ever was. If your woman is past the age of menopause don't even think about penetrative sex without a good quality lube, use it in your foreplay on both of you. We prefer the silicone lubes, they don't dry out and don't get sticky like others. We love silicone based Platinum, they describe it as a luxury lube and it is.
As I said earlier, I was just implanted 3 weeks ago, this began whole new phase of communication between us, from her never knowing about implants to being with me in the recovery room. She made a comment to me in the recovery room I will probably never forget, she said, "I can't believe you are going through this for us."
Used Viagra & Cialis until lost vision in one eye due to AION, therefore can never use pills again, then tri-mix 1 1/2 years until unreliable. Implanted 9/20/22 at 77 years old by Dr. Yafi, UC Irvine. Married 55 years wife 76. 20cm Coloplast Titan.
