What is it with Women and a man's erection?

[sogwap]

I've struggled with some form ED and/or PE (premature ejaculation) most of my life.
For past 10 years I used viagra with moderate success. And for the past 3 years took an SSRI to help control my ejaculations. Without SSRI I would last maybe 2 minutes or less.

By using the combination of Viagra and SSRI sex sort of worked, I was able to do one (and only one) position and by utilizing limited thrusting I usually last until my wife came with use of vibrator. The problem is my wife found that of sex boring and unfulfilling, so much so that she only wanted sex maybe once a month. But then she would complain that we are now in a sexless marriage. We both felt terrible about the lack of sex.

Last fall I contacted a urologist about using Trimix. After 6 month wait for me to see him in person, he agreed Trimix would be a good solution. I can give good erections and you can continue sex after ejaculation. I'm all excited about the possibilities. And sure enough using Penile Injections with Trimix, I can get an erection in 10-15 minutes, and keep the erection for about an hour. Like a dream come true for someone that has struggled with some form of ED/PE for most my life.

So far (in past 2 months) my wife and I attempted sex nine times using Trimix. Four times the sex ended badly.
The first time went ok, the low starter dose worked about as well as Viagra.
On my second Injection, I missed the injection spot, WTF, not even a chubby? My wife woudnt talk with me for two days.
I tried several solo injections, they went well. Kept erection for over an hour.
On my third try with my wife, I stopped thrusting afraid I was going to ejaculate. She was not happy followed with two days of silence.
We had sex several more times, they seemed to go Ok. But I dont think she was feeling 100%.

The last two times however, she stops the sex, saying that I ejaculated I lost my sexual energy.
I was shocked, true I came fairly quickly 2-3 minutes, but was able to continue, Actually (I thought) with more vigor, since I came and did not have to hold back.

So it seems like (at least for my wife) she gets hung up with my erections (which I understand no erections no sex) but now she's upset with me ejaculating even though I continue with sex.

Women can have multiple orgasms, why cant men.

My bigger question, for those men that use injections or have implants, How do you and your partner deal with the fact you may ejaculate before you want even though you can continue the sex.

NOTE; I know lots of guys have the opposite problem they have trouble coming. I get how that would be frustrating for both the man and his partner.

[Lost Sheep]

On first reading, it sounds to me that your wife is having trouble with your relationship, and not your sexual performance.

Ideally, a life partner (wife and husband) union is a cooperative venture. One partner who gives the silent tretament to the other's difficulties is no the epitomy of cooperation.Rather adversrial, I would characterize. Now, her upbringing and socialization may have made her attitude towards sex different from the rest of her relationship with you, so I understand that she may not be entirely at fault, so do not get my message wrong, please. If she is helpful and cooperative in other areas of your relationship, give hera chance.

By "give her a chance", I mean to suggest talking to her openly (if you have not before) about your sexual difficulties and allow her to reflect back to you, her feelings. YOU have to LISTEN! With your head and your heart and not be defensive (which a lot of men are when it comes to sex). I do not want to suggest that you are defensive, but just mention the possibility, so please do not take offense. The assistance of a relationship counsellor might be on order.

Men and women have different perspectives on each other's orgasms and sexual responses and performances. Opening up the lines of communication about those differences can dispel a lot of misunderstandings and lead to better sexual (and general relationship) experiences for both of you.

Good luck.

[sogwap]

On first reading, it sounds to me that your wife is having trouble with your relationship, and not your sexual performance.

Ideally, a life partner (wife and husband) union is a cooperative venture. One partner who gives the silent tretament to the other's difficulties is no the epitomy of cooperation.Rather adversrial, I would characterize. Now, her upbringing and socialization may have made her attitude towards sex different from the rest of her relationship with you, so I understand that she may not be entirely at fault, so do not get my message wrong, please. If she is helpful and cooperative in other areas of your relationship, give hera chance.

By "give her a chance", I mean to suggest talking to her openly (if you have not before) about your sexual difficulties and allow her to reflect back to you, her feelings. YOU have to LISTEN! With your head and your heart and not be defensive (which a lot of men are when it comes to sex). I do not want to suggest that you are defensive, but just mention the possibility, so please do not take offense. The assistance of a relationship counsellor might be on order.

Men and women have different perspectives on each other's orgasms and sexual responses and performances. Opening up the lines of communication about those differences can dispel a lot of misunderstandings and lead to better sexual (and general relationship) experiences for both of you.

Good luck.

Having struggled with ED and PE for some time has led to some very difficult times in the bedroom.
95% of our sex talk has been negative, mostly centering around my ED/PE.

Since starting Trimix, I've tried to encourage her to tell me how shes feeling.
She has told me she feels terrible about our lack of sexual connection. As do I.

I was hoping by using Trimix, things would greatly improve. Which they have in regards to my erections. But now she saying I lose sexual energy when I ejaculate. Which is quite new for her to say. While using Viagra I learned to hold back from coming before her and was mostly successful. In the past when we had sex and she was happy about the out come; I would hold back from coming until she came. The problem with this is I was very limited in what I could do. And she said it was boring and non connective.

I would agree a counselor or therapist is in order, And have seen several of them in the past with multiple sessions. But she has consistently insisted that I am the on that needs to talk with someone.

But the question remains, especially with Trimix and implant users, do women value when their man to ejaculates? Considering they can continue having penetrative sex after ejaculation.

Like I mentioned previously before when using Viagra I learned to hold back because once I came, the erection left. But now with Trimix, I can continue sex with an erection. Which is new for me. I just never thought it would matter to her. But apparently it does.

My wife is a one and done type of woman. Only a few times that I remember she had more than one orgasm. I brought this up, and how some woman have multiple orgasm she got a bit angry and said she doesnt care about other women, only what works for her. Yet when I say things like 75% men come within three minutes or that ED is quite prevalent for older men, She tells me that is not her experience.

[abhishek26]

I've struggled with some form ED and/or PE (premature ejaculation) most of my life.
For past 10 years I used viagra with moderate success. And for the past 3 years took an SSRI to help control my ejaculations. Without SSRI I would last maybe 2 minutes or less.

By using the combination of Viagra and SSRI sex sort of worked, I was able to do one (and only one) position and by utilizing limited thrusting I usually last until my wife came with use of vibrator. The problem is my wife found that of sex boring and unfulfilling, so much so that she only wanted sex maybe once a month. But then she would complain that we are now in a sexless marriage. We both felt terrible about the lack of sex.

Last fall I contacted a urologist about using Trimix. After 6 month wait for me to see him in person, he agreed Trimix would be a good solution. I can give good erections and you can continue sex after ejaculation. I'm all excited about the possibilities. And sure enough using Penile Injections with Trimix, I can get an erection in 10-15 minutes, and keep the erection for about an hour. Like a dream come true for someone that has struggled with some form of ED/PE for most my life.

So far (in past 2 months) my wife and I attempted sex nine times using Trimix. Four times the sex ended badly.
The first time went ok, the low starter dose worked about as well as Viagra.
On my second Injection, I missed the injection spot, WTF, not even a chubby? My wife woudnt talk with me for two days.
I tried several solo injections, they went well. Kept erection for over an hour.
On my third try with my wife, I stopped thrusting afraid I was going to ejaculate. She was not happy followed with two days of silence.
We had sex several more times, they seemed to go Ok. But I dont think she was feeling 100%.

The last two times however, she stops the sex, saying that I ejaculated I lost my sexual energy.
I was shocked, true I came fairly quickly 2-3 minutes, but was able to continue, Actually (I thought) with more vigor, since I came and did not have to hold back.

So it seems like (at least for my wife) she gets hung up with my erections (which I understand no erections no sex) but now she's upset with me ejaculating even though I continue with sex.

Women can have multiple orgasms, why cant men.

My bigger question, for those men that use injections or have implants, How do you and your partner deal with the fact you may ejaculate before you want even though you can continue the sex.

NOTE; I know lots of guys have the opposite problem they have trouble coming. I get how that would be frustrating for both the man and his partner.

give her a divorce. I don't think she deserves a man as good as you!!

[bldoink]

There are obviously some issues in your marital relationship. Let me throw this out there as an option. I won't call it a suggestion, just a thought:

Perhaps the next time you have a successful injection erection don't be timid or concerned. Go for a full on aggressive grudge fuck, multiple positions, even pinning her arms down, etc. as seems appropriate at the time. If you nut just keep on going with more power and aggression until she is wore out (you too most likely). Obviously any genuine protestations you would stop. I put this out there assuming you've already tried the gentle timid approach and she is complaining about being bored. I've done that and my wife got quite hot (sexually). Not an everyday type thing, unless that's what she demands.

Good luck.



Edited: To fix coding error.

[68CatFan]

Hmmm, I have to agree with the other guys there are some serious issues going on with your marriage. ED is a depressing struggle for men and to not have a supporting wife...
Trimix is not for every man. An implant may be a better choice.

[AmansinCali]

Sogwap,

Don't you think this begs the question?

"Yet when I say things like 75% men come within three minutes or that ED is quite prevalent for older men, She tells me that is not her experience."

Man, if you don't want to know, I do...Where did she get this experience, she is so proud of? Maybe you haven't been married very long, but if you are in a fairly long marriage, where and with who did she get this experience? How many old men has she been with?

All I know, the way you are living sucks and has to change, either she changes or you trade in this one for a new one. There are tons of women out there who, I am sure, wish they had a partner who wanted to please them.

[Lost Sheep]

My wife is a one and done type of woman. Only a few times that I remember she had more than one orgasm. I brought this up, and how some woman have multiple orgasm she got a bit angry and said she doesnt care about other women, only what works for her. Yet when I say things like 75% men come within three minutes or that ED is quite prevalent for older men, She tells me that is not her experience.

Bldoink's may have hit the nail on the head.

There are obviously some issues in your marital relationship. Let me throw this out there as an option. I won't call it a suggestion, just a thought:

Perhaps the next time you have a successful injection erection don't be timid or concerned. Go for a full on aggressive grudge fuck, ...Obviously any genuine protestations you would stop. I put this out there assuming you've already tried the gentle timid approach and she is complaining about being bored.

Are you adapting to your wife's particular, preferred love-making style?

edit: That sounds a bit insensitive of me to your situation. I am sure you have tried everything you can think of. I will have more later, hopefully more helpful. That one-liner is just food for thought in the meantime.

[sogwap]

give her a divorce. I don't think she deserves a man as good as you!!

How helpful is that? Given you know nothing about my situation or my relationship outside the bedroom.

[sogwap]

There are obviously some issues in your marital relationship. Let me throw this out there as an option. I won't call it a suggestion, just a thought:

Perhaps the next time you have a successful injection erection don't be timid or concerned. Go for a full on aggressive grudge fuck, multiple positions, even pinning her arms down, etc. as seems appropriate at the time. If you nut just keep on going with more power and aggression until she is wore out (you too most likely). Obviously any genuine protestations you would stop. I put this out there assuming you've already tried the gentle timid approach and she is complaining about being bored. I've done that and my wife got quite hot (sexually). Not an everyday type thing, unless that's what she demands.

Good luck.

Previously when using Viagra. I did everything I could to just to maintain an erection. I was very limited in what I could do. I was only able to hold the erection in one position. Best I could do was give her oral which she liked but she wanted more. I talked about trying other things which she said what we do doesnt work, why try anything else. Which is partially true. I can understand, my ED and PE, has left her disappointed.

However since using Trimix, I can have an erection from the start of sex and lasting for some time after sex. I tried being more aggressive. It didnt go so well. Its as if she said WTF are you doing? She says she wants PIV sex, but if there's no clitoral stimulation she sometimes stops the sex and lets me know.
She's frustrated and so am I.

Given my new erection powers I want to try different things. But then she gets upset if things dont work the way she would hope.

Seems the only way this is going to work is if we take it from a new perspective.
I've tracked my Injections and how they turn out. One injection missed the target, the sex did not go well. A big zero. The other dozen or so injections had fairly solid erections.
Of the nine attempts at sex, the one was a not hitter, Three other times the sex stopped and did not go well, Even though I still had a strong erection.