Uneasy about using pump with my wife present

[fiatman]

Sorry if this sounds too weird. I am relatively new to the discussion board. I have tried many different ED treatments. ED is from numerous surgeries over the years including orchiectomy due to tumors. My urologist prescribed a vacuum pump which I use occasionaly to work my penis. I have never used it the presence of my wife. The situation is very intimidating to me. Early in our 40 + years of marriage we discussed sex toys and devices to which she had strong negative feelings. Has anyone else had this experience

[bldoink]

I have no idea what life is like at your house so my thoughts may not apply at all.

I also feel uneasy using a VED in front of my wife....unless I enlist her help. If I get her to fondle, offer encouragement, stroke a bit, flash some titty, maybe talk dirty a little, etc., well that uneasiness flees away. You should be able to figure that out. Keep it light hearted with smiles and laughter.

As for the toy issue. I say you should buy a battery operated mini-magic want type "toy". They work great as muscle massagers. Use it on her neck, back, calves and thighs. Then when she is relaxed and it seems appropriate you can move on to her female bits. Don't be dissuaded easily. The full size magic wands work too but I'd start with a rechargeable lithium battery powered mini-wand. My wife was a bit uneasy with the toy idea at first but "came" around when I used it on her. Do a massage first.

The two above paragraph topics can go well together. Make it fun.

Good luck.

[Alan810]

I too was uneasy about using a VED w/rings in front of my wife but she has accepted it as something I need to help with my ED. She also sometimes participates a little and does need the assistance of a vibrator for her orgasms. It is now readily accepted with no problem as she knows that's the only way I can achieve an erection and it's important for me - less so for her. Initially she did not like the feel of the rings and I solved that problem by placing a thin rubber shield over he rings. Best to talk about it with your wife and explain why and how....

[AnotherOldMan]

I cannot know how communication between you and your wife flows and how much you share with each other. If she is onboard with continuing your sex life together then you both need to sit down and work out a couple of strategies to proceed.

One suggestion is her getting into doggy style position while using her favorite vibrator while you prepare and pump. She won't see you pump or even care!

[Alanoc8]

I've been using Trimix since 2017. Over the last few months I started worrying about scarring. I haven't felt anything different but I thought I would try a VED to get an erection and stay away from Trimix for awhile. I explained this to my wife before buying the VED. She was ok with it. Her only concern was the ring hitting her pubic bone. The ring is rubber so it wasn't a problem. For now I'm done sticking a needle in the side of my cock. Just be honest with her. If she wants to have sex she needs a stiff cock. Since I can't get a natural erection what's the diference between Trimix giving me an erection and a VED giving me an erection.

[AnotherOldMan]

If she wants to have sex she needs a stiff cock

A few sessions with a super stiff cock that stayed that way for 15-20 minutes were more than enough to convince my wife.

[Bigdog4all]

I started out using the Pump. Yes, to me, the pump is mechanical. But it got the job done. Then after finding FT, I thought I would try Trimix. After about a year, I no longer could stab myself. Trimix too fricking painful. So I went back to the Pump. To me, The Pump was easier to use. The Pump produced larger & thicker erections, by my standards and hers. But the drawback.....You have to keep penetration sex at 30 minutes. That stinks.....So you have to do all your foreplay, teasing, and touching before you put on the Pump. Then you got only 30 minutes of pipe laying. But hey, something is better than nothing.