I'm new here

[Raven99]

Hi, I've been dealing with ED problems for many years. I'm 65, gay, and from the beginning of my sex life in my 20s I had problems maintaining an erection when with a partner. I get hard but often lose it quickly. I remember complaining to therapists about it when I was in my late 20s. Honestly I wish I could go back to that level of functioning now

Over the years it grew worse to the point in my 40s I'd not get an erection at all -- even if I was aroused, horny, excited, whatever. I went to an ED clinic in my late 30s and they tried the injection on me and I nearly passed out. Now I'm thinking that could be the way to go.

In my mid 40s I developed chronic fatigue syndrome, which i still have but my sexual functioning for many years was about the same. And I never had trouble masturbating while alone. That began a few years ago when I started an anti depressant, cymbalta. Even a year after I stopped that drug I could no longer fantasize to get hard when alone.

ED drugs can help a little but not enough. And now I need an ED drug, a cock ring, and watching porn to occasionally be able to masturbate. It's a big production and I do it occasionally just to get the equipment to work.

I have been on testoterone since the fall as my T levels have been low normal for years. Ironically, I get erections when I sleep but not when I'm awake. Even if I wake during the night and I'm hard if I try to get off I just lose it. Losing the ability to fantasize really puzzles me.

So this issue has haunted my sex and romantic life for so long and I don't want to give up on love and sex.

I'm seeing an urologist in two weeks and don't know what to expect. I got his name from a friend who had early prostate cancer surgery.

I'm afraid he'll just blame CFS but I know that's not the whole story. I'm willing to consider an injection now. I've read that the needles are smaller.

Any advice or suggestions or even sympathy will be welcome . . . or if maybe anyone has questions if I've left anything out

Thanks!

[Raven99]

Forgot to say that about a year ago developed what appears to be Peyronie's Disease. I'd heard that it can cause painful ejaculation but that's so far not the case with me. but my penis when it does get hard bends like the leaning tower of Pisa except more from the middle upward.

[rschweiger]

Hi Raven,
Some support for you,and a welcome.
You will find a great group of guys here.
I can't speak on injections, I jumped feet first into an implant when oral meds failed me, and for me it was the right choice.I suffered from 37 to 41 implanted on 8/7/2012and am now 42......I know the mental abuse of ED. And that is why I did what I did and couldn't be happier.
Best wishes,Rich

[Raven99]

Hey, Rich, Thanks for the welcome. I'm still pretty stunned to find out this kind of forum exists. Because of my health issues I had about given up on finding a solution and that was deeply demoralizing. I've read some of the discussion on gay v. straight issues and basically not getting hard hits every man's sense of himself as a man, especially if it goes on for years and years.

I'd never considered surgery so kind of curious that so many guys here have gone that route and been happy with it. I am seeing a urologist soon and hoping he's a good one. I'm on lots of meds, two BP meds -- but they are supposed to be two of the least likely BP meds to cause ED and the problem pre dated them anyway. And on two sedating anti depressants for sleep issues, and also they are old anti-D's and not the kind associated with ED.

[rschweiger]

Hi again raven, its Rich.
For me once I researched implants ....it was feet first, I had been mentally abused by ED for to long,been to many dark places and couldn't be there anymore. And I went through it before I discovered FT. So I felt all alone originally w/a doctor that thought I was crazy cause I was so young 37 it must be in my head?it was just lower one....lol
I couldn't be happier now tho. Just know that you will find a solution that's right for you and you will get back what ED robs from us,
I wish you the best on your journey,if you need any help along the way
I'll be here......Rich

[Raven99]

Hi, Saw the urologist today for first visit and it left me pretty depressed. He focused on my Peyronie's Disease. Did an ultrasound and found two areas of calcification or something like that. He's put me on Trental which she either stop continuing calcification or maybe improve it a bit. He said there's a new enzyme drug before the FDA in Sept which will actually clear away all the plaque and whatever there is.

But I've had ED problems for years that have worsened. I asked about a shot and he emphasized how painful it is and that with my Peyronie's Disease it wouldn't help me more than an ED drug.

I asked about the cock ring I've been using and he said it might have made the whole problem worse. Might have. But without it and and ED drug I can't even jerk off to porn, forget about with a partner.

He said I could try the shot during that visit but kept emphasizing how painful it would be and how it probably wouldn't do more than an ED drug.

Right now I'm feeling kind of hopeless about it all. There's an anti depressant, cymbalta, which will improve my mood some but it kills whatever libido I have left.

I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is much worse than the name sounds and it makes meeting people hard enough, but with a limp dick it makes it all that much harder. I know there are lots of understanding women out there but I'm GAY so

Nick

[Peckerwood]

Painful? Did your uro explain what he meant by painful? I have been giving myself injections for over a year and a half and have not experienced any pain whatsoever. There is a tiny little prick when the needle goes in, but it is not really painful. Interestingly and surprisingly (I have to admit.), there is less pain in the penis with a shot than any other place on my body that I've had one. We like to think it's a muscle, but it's not. I wonder whether your urologist has ever had an injection in his penis.

[Frank Talk Admin]

Not saying this doctor isn't great and all....but I would shop for a new doctor immediately. Now. Today. Forthwith. Run-like-bloody-hell. He's probably fantastic though.

I can't begin to point out all the red flags in this story that you have wandered into an office that is simply not prepared to help you. Just like any other major medical issue - you should always get a second or even third opinion. Why are you believing this doctor? I would never go back to him - but that's just me. To have a doctor leaving you with less hope than when you arrived is inconceivable to me. Your issues sound very solvable. It may take work and commitment on your part, but there is every reason for hope - just not many reasons for hope with this doctor. Find a new one today. Get on the internet and make a list of 3 other doctors (from other practices, not within his same group). Call them Monday. They should be able to see you very quickly. If they don't, cross off their names and keep going. As one member on here says, the phrase "This is not acceptable" must become part of your vocabulary.
Pau

[JDavid]

Raven,
I'll be a bit less correct than Paul. In terms of your needs the urologist you saw sounds terrible! Why was he he attempting to discourage every option for you to be able to have sex. Unless you know him to be gay-friendly you have to consider that his attitude may have been influenced by anti-gay bias. I've certainly had that experience. Subtext: "Oh, you can't commit sodomy. How unfortunate. It's too bad I can do nothing to alter the situation."
In many ways, at this point in your journey the cause of your ED is irrelevant. There is a solution and you need a solution, not B.S. If you already have Peyronie's injecting yourself may be contraindicated. IMHO you need to find a urologist who is a well regarded implant surgeon so that option is on the table.
Dave

[ohohiakane]

Raven....
What Paul (administrator) said !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My only addition would be to beware of some ED clinics.... those can me more high pressure than medical.

I would get a referral from your primary care physician.

Bill