Bachelor Party

[Old Guy]

This married fellow tells his wife he’s going to his friend’s bachelor party. The wife says if you end up sloppy drunk passed out in some girls’ apartment like the last three parties, I’m divorcing you. The guy says I swear I would never do anything that would jeopardize our marriage no matter how drunk I got. Tonight my buddy is driving and I’ll take it easy on the hard stuff.
As the night goes on, one drink leads to another and before you know it the dude is blitzed drunk. Finally, around 2 AM his buddy drives him home. He goes in the house thinking he is being quiet, but he’s making more noise than a herd of bulls in a china shop. His wife wakes up and meets him in the hallway.
Right about then a sudden stomach explosion happens and he pukes all over himself, down his shirt, all over his pants and onto the floor. His wife helps him to the bathroom to clean up.
The next morning waking up, besides having a massive hangover he wonders what kind of trouble am I in with the wife. But rolling over he sees a note on his night table, along with two aspirin and a glass of water. After sucking down the aspirin he reads the note, it’s from his wife. It reads- Good Morning Honey, there is coffee and breakfast in the kitchen. Hope you feel better. See you later, wink, wink.
OK, what the hell he thinks. I should be in big trouble. He goes to the kitchen where he finds his son eating breakfast, so he asks if he knows what happened last night.
Oh yea the son says. You came in last night making all kind of noise. Woke me and mom up. When you puked all over yourself mom took you to the bathroom to clean you up. When she tried to take your pants off you hollered at her “I’m a married man bitch, get your hands off!”

[Masonjames]

Hahaha Good one