Trimix & Delayed Ejaculation

[magicman222]

lol definitely not 18 with a 20-minute refractory period, but I know I could have brought myself to orgasm via masturbation before she arrived... I know this because I edged for a few minutes prior to her arrival to verify I'd be able to cum. But nope -- no dice with her.

This is what's making me crazy... I'm 56 and I'm starting to accept that I'm getting older and things change as I get older.

Also thinking I'm obsessing about this too much which just creates an anxiety loop.

[ape1100]

lol definitely not 18 with a 20-minute refractory period, but I know I could have brought myself to orgasm via masturbation before she arrived... I know this because I edged for a few minutes prior to her arrival to verify I'd be able to cum. But nope -- no dice with her.

This is what's making me crazy... I'm 56 and I'm starting to accept that I'm getting older and things change as I get older.

Also thinking I'm obsessing about this too much which just creates an anxiety loop.

it does create anxiety but you have to relax. ED prevented sex but now with modern pharmaceuticals make it possible. you have to look at the bright side, you can have sex with a slight change. we usually have sex for 3-4 hours and i will be lucky if i have one orgasm if any. after all those hours i KNOW that my wife is pleased beyond belief. that makes me content. it was a straight anxiety attack the first 5-6 times but now i have settled in and thoroughly enjoy the whole experience. i will have what feels something like an orgasm more than once, just no ejaculation. to me, its kinda like medically induced edging. i will say that the combo of cabgergoline (sometimes, not always) and an anal plug make it easier. plus if you are into it, THC helps, but that is another conversation in its own. lol.

[magicman222]

I just thought about an obvious solution or strategy that I should try next time.
Once the clothes come off, I'm raring to get the action started and usually get straight to PIV sex.
I'm realizing that I'm not giving myself enough time and foreplay to really get super excited prior to PIV.

Would have never previously thought I need more foreplay but it makes sense. When we take our time and she gives me a show and teases me - and takes more time giving me oral - that's when I get super turned on and can cum rather easily.

I'm the one who usually stops that and gets down to business right away.

So next time I'm going to slow my roll and make sure I'm really turned on before going for penetration. We both very much like visual stimulation and I should ensure I get more of that prior to going to home base.

So wish me luck.

[Martin6469]

I stopped masturbating some years ago when anorgasmia started. That has helped somewhat, but I think age is my problem, maybe yours too.

Masters and Johnson put great emphasis on "being in the moment" when you're in the tunnel of love. Think about nothing but the slipin' 'n' slidin'. Tell her about how wet she is, how beautiful she is. Try not to be a "spectator" of your performance. (I know it's the hardest thing. )

[Zebulun]

I'm 76, always had great sex but as of now have I been using trimix for about 10 months. I'm now using 10 units which gets me hard and it lasts for about 2 3/4 hrs. more or less. I do have lots of nervousness and anxiety lately. I have difficulty not getting up tight as I do overthink pretty much everything, especially negative issuers. Been thru a lot lately, a knee replacement 10/20/22, had to avoid screwing for about 5 weeks. Depressing! Then wife and I had covid over Christmas and New Years and that also got in the way of screwing, my wife felt awful. Even more depressing. Seems even with the 10 units of trimix the nervousness and being down keep me from a real good hard on for a while but by about 20 minutes it's really hard even hurts some. Now, since moving up to 10 units from 7and 8 units I'm not Cuming as I used to. The last 2 times I had to finish by hand. That's kind of upsetting in itself. I used Viagra and Cialis for about 12 yrs. prior and it worked great. Never had any delayed ejaculation and always was able to get it up except when drinking alcohol or after a big meal so I avoided those things when I wanted to screw. Last year I had some serious emotional upsets, a major move to a new location, stopping working and big life changes which didn't set well. I started feeling depressed. I believed that caused me to have my erection issues even while on Viagra or Cialis. That by itself started me on anxiety issues and left me kind of F.U.!! So went to urologist and he gave me trimix. Talked with a sex therapist for a while but that really didn't do much other than confirm what i already knew. I Really do like that the trimix does work, even being nervous, depressed some and anxious, but not happy with the delayed ejaculation as of late. Maybe the emotions', depression and anxiety are affecting me that way? Maybe the dosage increase? I Got on a low dose of bupropion for the depression which I think it might help a little. Might try cutting back. But want to keep the good hard on. Taking some online therapy for my performance anxiety issues. Hope it does the trick. I took Testosterone tests were low first time, about 290 and I brought it up to about 350 with eating specific foods. While that is acceptable it is still "almost" to low which is a number below 300. I've read low T, quite common in older men, can cause all sorts of issues, physical and emotional. T levels should be 300 to 1,000. Anyone have a feel for or knowledge about this? Given it my best.

[bldoink]

Unfortunately I don't have any great solutions for you. I can definitely empathize with you. I pray you can work through the difficulties and issues you're going through and find acceptable solutions. My only anemic suggestion would be to try using novelty/sex shop cock rings. You'll have to experiment to find what rings will work well for you. The proper rings may allow you to use a little less trimix which may help with your anorgasmia.

Good luck.

[Martin6469]

Zeb: Your nervousness comments reminded me of myself years ago when I developed low T. For a time I was uneasy about leaving my house! I found a good endocrinologist who gave me synthetic T to get me up around 400, and simultaneously sent me for a skull MRI scan, because sometimes low T can be caused by a brain tumor (hypothalamus or pituitary). Currently my T is around 500 and all is well, except for the old-age effects to be expected. Foods will not raise your T, and neither will "masculinity boost" pills or "human growth factor" powders advertised all over. Hormones and their interactions are very complex, and only endocrinologists have the education to figure them out.

Your adverse life changes reminded me of a neighbor who had anxiety and depression after a car accident, and found that yoga was a big help.

I also have the anorgasmia you describe. I think it's just old age, but it might be caused by spinal scoliosis pinching a nerve, and I'm investigating that possibility. If I find anything, I'll post in the "Anorgasmia" topic. Currently I'm following Masters' and Johnson's advice to us old guys: "Keep banging her until she's had enough, then stop, and next week you might ejaculate in her, after building up more semen." (I'm paraphrasing. )

(If you'd care to pass along that online therapy website you like, I'll save it for the occasional young FT guy who reports performance anxiety, if you think it would be useful for guys beginning their sex lives with this worry.)

[magicman222]

I'm back (I'm the OP) with an update.

It's been an interesting couple of months and my experiences have varied. I switched over to Bimix and prefer it over Trimix as I don't get an aching erection. All good there. I'm able to ejaculate "normally" most of the time now when using Bimix, and interestingly always when not using any kind of medication. My erection isn't as rock hard without the medication and it takes a bit longer to get me excited and ready for penetrative sex, but when I'm ready I can reach climax within a few minutes. Actually, I need to control myself so I don't cum too quickly (without Bimix/Trimix).

With Bimix/Trimix I get a raging rock hard erection and I generally cannot cum quickly -- I have to work a lot harder to reach climax.

Last night we had a great Bimix-fueled sex session (20 units) where I had a great long lasting erection. Focused on giving her a few orgasms orally first and then went straight into PIV sex. I should have asked for some foreplay before just sticking it in -- and I think this is where my issue lies.

We had vigorous sex in multiple positions and took turns doing the work (me on top, me behind her, her on top, etc.) but I just couldn't cum even though it was super hot and intense sex. Got close to the edge a few times. Took a water break. She said she needed a bit of a break from all the pounding. We'd been going at it for close to an hour.

She disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared wearing some sexy lingerie and thigh high boots. Holy moly. Some more riding me and then she asked how she could entertain me. Told her to get on all fours facing away from me and tease me by shaking her incredible ass. She did this while I stroked off and within a minute I felt like I was on the road to orgasm. I got up and immediately started pounding her doggy style and within a few minutes I had an amazing orgasm.

Told her something like "sometimes all it takes is a little teasing" which she thought was pretty hot.

Anyway I'm learning that my sexual needs have adjusted over the years. Sometimes it's not enough for me to go straight to PIV pounding sex. I actually need some foreplay and teasing. Go figure.

I love looking at my girlfriend's body and she knows it. I can cum fairly quickly stroking myself while looking at her hot body when she teases me with her amazing assets. So I'm incorporating some of this teasing into our sex routine. She is cool with it because she wants to make sure I cum.

Has anyone else experienced this or am I odd in some way wanting to jerk off while looking at my honey as part of our sex routine in order for me to reach climax? (typically only when on Bimix - still need to experiment with lower doses)

[ape1100]

Just shows the differences we all have. I use trimix and we do foreplay for at least an hour and orgasms are illusive as ever. After about two hours and almost throwing out my shoulder i may be lucky enough to get one. Tried a smaller amount of trimix and erection lasted 30-45 min. I just can’t get it normally bit i have no other recourse and have to live with it i guess. The only silver lining is the wife gets plenty and gets plenty wore out. I’m attributing it to old age I guess.

[magicman222]

Another interesting update. Went on week-long vacation with my girlfriend and I was really happy and surprised to see that all of my issues with ED and DE have vanished! No issues getting it up, keeping it up, and climaxing. Had sex 5 times during the week without any medical assistance (other than 5mg daily Cialis which I'm not sure does much anyway). I brought my BiMix but never needed to use it.

Perhaps being away from everything (no worries about kids or pets or job, etc.) helped me to finally relax enough to enjoy myself and stay in the moment. Needless to say, I am super stoked that I'm back to my old studly self where I have no problems achieving and maintaining a solid erection on demand, and being able to control my climax to cum when I want to. No premature ejaculation and no delayed ejaculation. It was perfect.

Told my girlfriend I may still want to use the BiMix for our epic extended sex sessions and she's totally up for that too. With the BiMix, playtime doesn't end when I climax because I can stay hard for a long time (unlike without BiMix).

So, thanks to everyone for your insights and feedback, it's been helpful and I'm super happy that things ended up working themselves out. I knew they would, just didn't expect it would take this long.