Struggling to continue on

[personfromon]

It's honestly wild to me how you can remove one fundamental part of the human experience and life feels so shallow, hollow, empty and worthless. On the surface things should be relatively good for me: I have a mom & dad who love me, friends I see semi regularly, hobbies I do my best to partake in...but it all feels so fucking meaningless. I haven't been with a woman for I don't even know how long but it has to be more than 3 years at this point. I haven't had GOOD, SATISFACTORY sex for ~10 years I'd imagine. I'm only in my 30s. I can't work because you become judged for not having a partner in the workplace. Having erectile dysfunction makes it impossible for me to focus on anything else. I can barely even enjoy social outings, beacuse most of my friends are in relationships or at the very least bring dates to parties and I cannot do so because the emberassment of being unable to perform is too much to bear. With events like bachelor parties (or even just some parties in general) the conversation inevitably turns to sex, and I stick out like a sore thumb. Some of my closest friends are have been getting married in recent years, and I thought I would be able to have someone that I LOVE and that LOVES ME to share and bask in these moments with; I want so bad to be able to be happy for them but watching them find love and start this new chapter with their partners only shines a brighter light on what I lack.

It's not as if I don't get any attention from women either; I'm not a bad looking guy and women show interest...but the fact that I am unable to maintain an erection AS WELL as suffering from premature ejaculation means that any encounter with a woman who I'm actually interested in would leave me more embarassed and feeling worse than not engaging in a love life at all. I have rejected so many women who I was very attracted to over the past years. It hurts to think about.

I have no idea what to do and do not know how much longer I can go on. Getting an IPP seems so unsure as well; what if the outcome is not good? What if I end up with a misshapen penis? Or one that STILL does not function as well as I would like, only now it feels and looks unnatural? Every other health issue can be spoken about publicly, and people will have sympathy and empathy for you, but speaking publicly about erectile dysfunction leads to laughter, jokes, and ridicule. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt myself, but I lost the desire to live long ago.

[Randalltx]

It's honestly wild to me how you can remove one fundamental part of the human experience and life feels so shallow, hollow, empty and worthless. On the surface things should be relatively good for me: I have a mom & dad who love me, friends I see semi regularly, hobbies I do my best to partake in...but it all feels so fucking meaningless. I haven't been with a woman for I don't even know how long but it has to be more than 3 years at this point. I haven't had GOOD, SATISFACTORY sex for ~10 years I'd imagine. I'm only in my 30s. I can't work because you become judged for not having a partner in the workplace. Having erectile dysfunction makes it impossible for me to focus on anything else. I can barely even enjoy social outings, beacuse most of my friends are in relationships or at the very least bring dates to parties and I cannot do so because the emberassment of being unable to perform is too much to bear. With events like bachelor parties (or even just some parties in general) the conversation inevitably turns to sex, and I stick out like a sore thumb. Some of my closest friends are have been getting married in recent years, and I thought I would be able to have someone that I LOVE and that LOVES ME to share and bask in these moments with; I want so bad to be able to be happy for them but watching them find love and start this new chapter with their partners only shines a brighter light on what I lack.

It's not as if I don't get any attention from women either; I'm not a bad looking guy and women show interest...but the fact that I am unable to maintain an erection AS WELL as suffering from premature ejaculation means that any encounter with a woman who I'm actually interested in would leave me more embarassed and feeling worse than not engaging in a love life at all. I have rejected so many women who I was very attracted to over the past years. It hurts to think about.

I have no idea what to do and do not know how much longer I can go on. Getting an IPP seems so unsure as well; what if the outcome is not good? What if I end up with a misshapen penis? Or one that STILL does not function as well as I would like, only now it feels and looks unnatural? Every other health issue can be spoken about publicly, and people will have sympathy and empathy for you, but speaking publicly about erectile dysfunction leads to laughter, jokes, and ridicule. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt myself, but I lost the desire to live long ago.

Get the implant. End of discussion. Anyone embarrassing you or humiliating you because of this issue does not belong in your life. The tubes inserted called cylinders are fairly rigid. That being the case you're going to be at least as straight as you are now. Once the Ed goes away with the new and improved version of yourself the PE is easier to solve especially with practice.
You have the paralysis of analysis. Take some action to solve your problem get the implant the solutions will appear and you will have more women than you know what to do with. The best part is this will all be over in 6 months or less. You are talking to the group who has endured a lot of what you have and sometimes more so pay attention to what we say.

[sogwap]

I can't work because you become judged for not having a partner in the workplace.

You cant be serious?

The fact is there are 1000's of men who don't have a partner, and just as many who aren't getting any (sex).

[Lost Sheep]

I can't work because you become judged for not having a partner in the workplace.

You cant be serious?

The fact is there are 1000's of men who don't have a partner, and just as many who aren't getting any (sex).

Sogwap has a good point.

You do not say what sort of social circle you have, but in my view, there are few societies so hypercritcal that a man who chooses to be without a female partner for whatever reason (specified, admitted or otherwise) is judged as being "lesser". Is your social/professional milieu one of those?

My advice is to seek the company/companionship of a woman you like and admire and put the potential of sex completely aside. She will probably find not being pressured for sex to be refreshing, at least for a while. Simply enjoy the friendship and having a companion for social outings.

After establshing a trust level, you may or may not let her know of the limitations of your performace parameters. In my experience, when I admitted to a woman that my penis "does not perform as well as I would like, but that I will make every effort to satisfy her sexually", most responded very well...and enthhusiastically. I have found that women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected and safe. More so if they feel loved.

In the meantime, just have a good time with non-sexual pursuits. Entertainment, arts, carnivals, sightseeing, shared meals, sports (participating or spectating). Take her to or teach her to play billiards/pool, cards, scuba diving, etc. Enjoy what aspects of life fate has afforded you.

Even if she is merely a "beard" (to cover your social standing), you should be able to have a good time if you let go enough to relax and enjoy yourself.