27 and defeated

[Anonymous1smile]

Hi guys.. I originally posted this in the implant section because I'm trying to figure out how I can get one.
I never wanted to consider an implant but I'm at my witts end. I'm literally watching my dick shrivel away.
Just looking at it makes me feel inadequate and less of a man. I'm not the same guy I used to be.
This can't be it.. Made it to 27 just to live the rest of my life with a laughable size. I worry I'll never be able to fully satisfy a woman like before or build a true connection. I'll always be thinking someone else was able to satisfy her more. Because we can talk about love, bond/connection, foreplay. but facts are facts. size is size.
Men lie, women lie, numbers don't

Anyway heres my original post:

Whats up guys. Recently stumbled upon this community because of my current issue. Made a throwaway account for anonymity. Im a 27M who has a venous leak and it's ruining my life. I've become very depressed and have suicidal thoughts quite often. The only thing stopping me is that I'm not a selfish person and I realize the traumatic impact that would have on my family. Not here to look for pity or sympathy but hoping at least one person in here has experience with a similar situation.

I was very sexually active since my teens and had many partners, never had an issue with erections. Then around 25 I had multiple tragic events happen in my life and felt like I needed help. I spoke to a psychiatrist who got me on anti depressants. Like most people I experienced some sexual sides and difficulty maintaining an erection. I quit the anti depressants and got prescribed viagra which led me down a slippery slope. I'm not sure if I actually needed the viagra at a certain point or if i developed a mental dependency.

Anyway, I took viagra way more than I should for around a year and then it no longer worked. I saw multiple urologists and no solution. I tried everything, daily cialis and viagra. Overtime my erection strength kept dropping 70% -> 50% -> 25% until I could no longer maintain an erection. My urologist was convinced it was mostly mental but after me swearing up and down he had me do a doppler exam. Then came probably the worst day of my life, the doctor confirming I had a venous leak and that I would need a penile implant at just age 26!

My gf of 2 years ended up cheating on me (I'm guessing for sexual satisfaction) and I truly can't blame her but still had to break up with her. BTW I'm located in a big city known for modeling (NYC/LA) and a few months after my breakup I met a famous european super model. We hit it off and started dating but I could never get the job done. I even tried trimix injections. I used to be in my bathroom injecting my dick with a needle as I had naked supermodel in my bed. It got so bad I even said "fuck it" and doubled and tripled the recommended dose for the trimix to only get a 25% erection and fail after a few minutes. I had to break things off with the supermodel on my own because I could not keep going through the failures. Funny enough she begged me not to break up with her and somehow was convinced that I was not attracted to her. So yeah as if this hasn't been enough of a mind fuck, I'm now beginning to SHRINK. I was never large to begin with but now my life has become a joke.

Originally 6"x4.5". Now I'm about half the size of that. I never measured my dick flaccid because I was always more of a grower but my flaccid dick is a joke now, like 2.5" and a pencil. This is making me extremely depressed and I don't know what to do.

Its gotten so bad that I finally gave in and considered going forward with the surgery but I can't find any reputable surgeons that take my insurance. All reputable surgeons are private or only take blue cross blue shield (which I don't have)

I'm very tight on money and going through some difficult financial times right now so I need to know where to best allocate my funds.

Questions.

I recently got laid off and lost my insurance through my employer

I'm located in NYC. Which "unemploment" health insurance should I apply for?

What should I do? Purchase a vacuum/bathmate type thing? Will PE help?

Has anyone here tried shockwave therapy for blood flow? PRP?

I don't want to lose anymore size before I find a surgeon so Id appreciate any insight you could provide as possible shockwave therapy, vacuums, or PE exercises



Much appreciated

[Alan810]

I too, have bad veinous leakage and unable to get an erection. I've tried all the pills and injections with little or no satisfactory results. In your case since you do not have insurance, I would suggest that you invest in a decent quality VED and rings. It's the only procedure that works for me and several others on this website. Since I'm married, I do not have any of the difficulties that a single man might have, but it you're upfront with your partner, she will probably work with you - perhaps more out of curiosity. But for most partners for PIV, an erection is an erection...especially if it's coupled with oral and a vibrator. When, and if, you go that route I would strongly suggest experimenting and getting experienced with the VED and rings to achieve the best possible results. When you do have a partner, you can set everything up in advance so that applying the pump and rings would only results in a minute or two of interruption. You can always tell her humorously "have pump will travel" Good luck and keep FT informed.

[Martin6469]

Anon: I'm not a medical person or any kind of ED expert, but your symptoms sound like those which I think our Administrator Paul has said could be the "Hard/Flaccid" pelvic problem. There's a very interesting post from Fed1981, who was your age, "Hard Flaccid - success story ..." in the Hard/Flaccid topic 9-3-20. (His original post is "27-year-old pump injury ..." in General Discussion 8-1-20) Paul recommends the book "A Headache in the Pelvis," which you can download from Amazon instantly to Kindle.

[Old Guy]

Don't give up. It doesn't matter how old or young a man is, if you can't get the job done it's time to take action.
Really can't say what insurance would be best. Many have clauses that do not cover implants. You're going to have to search before buying. Then make sure the surgeon you select accepts that insurance.
As far as I've seen Shockwave has been not very helpful except for a very few, and it seems temporary.
A vacuum pump is supposed to help you maintain size. I have zero experience with one, but it can't hurt. They do stretch out the penis. There are many posts about using them here if you search.
Stay tough and keep moving forward, even if it's tiny steps at a time.

[Flavio]

Thank you for sharing your testimony.

You are obviously under great stress and this is a major cause of ED. Check out the antidepressants you're taking, they may also be causing or worsening your condition.

The venous leak diagnosis seems a bit strange to me, I think you should get a second and third opinion from reputable doctors, before you decide to do anything drastic. You're probably too young to get an implant, it works but it's always a last resort solution.