I'll start a journal

[kampfmops]

I’m not really much of a writer, in fact I hate it, but thought I might share my experience in case it might benefit others going through the same things.

I’m a 57 year old gay man in Michigan, single for the last 7 years after a 22 year relationship. Still look good enough to date (okay… hook up with).

I’ve been dealing with ED for at least 10 years. I tried tadalafil and didn’t care for its side effects. I started using sildenafil, which also has side effects, but I find them more tolerable. I take 50mg and might get a relatively short-lived erection in the right circumstances—on a good day.

In October 2022 I started having painful erections (if I could get one). During one particular sexual encounter, I happened to look down and was horrified to see an upward bend in my dick, about two-thirds of the way up from the base. Later, I discovered a lump in the same spot. It was about the size and texture of a pencil eraser. After the doctor confirmed it wasn’t my imagination, I got a urology referral and was diagnosed with Peyronie’s.

I made an appointment for my first round of Xiaflex, but got cold feet and bailed on that.

To be honest, I didn’t even want to masturbate any more (when I could get hard) because I couldn’t stand touching the bend in my shaft. So I reconsidered and resolved to start the Xiaflex treatments.

While a needle in your dick isn’t the most fun you can have with your pants down, the pencil eraser lump disappeared after the very first injection, so I was hopeful. After the eighth and final injection, the Xiaflex had only reduced the angle by maybe 10 degrees. It was time to start considering an implant.

My foremost thought was that the implant is so permanent. There’s no going back after getting one. But then, what would I be going back to? A limp-noodle bent dick that only gets semi-hard for a minute or so if I’m lucky?
I made an appointment with the surgeon, and had an initial exam, followed by a doppler/sonogram of my penis to determine erection ability and blood flow. After 2 vasoactive injections, I was only able to achieve 40% rigidity. The doppler showed blood was flowing in, but not staying. We discussed my options, and I settled on grafting for the Peyronie’s and the AMS 700 CX implant.

Now the surgery is less than two weeks out (6/27). Some days I’m more nervous and anxious than others, but feel I’ve made the right decision.

My biggest concern now is something completely out of my hands: length. With appearance being a close second. Not gonna lie, I have/had a nice cock (many others have confirmed this). Not girthy, but pushing 8” when super aroused. Now, without the bend, it’s maybe 7” and ends about an inch south of my bellybutton. I have no idea what to expect post-surgery. I’ve seen quite a few nice dicks here, so am hopeful. I dread being disappointed and ending up regretting this decision.

Anyway, that’s my story so far. You may be thinking, “That’s a lot of damn words from someone who doesn’t like writing.” But I didn’t say I couldn’t write… just that I don’t like doing it.

(The two photos are from 2020 and 2023.)

[easymoney]

If you have not been having regular erections for any length of time you have already had some size loss. The bend will make you lose even more, but being 10 yrs younger than most of the guys on here will help. Ask your dr. about using a VED before the surgery, I used one for 6 weeks before mine and I do think it helped. Let size be the last thing on your mind. Think instead that you chose the right dr. and is the implant being used the right one for your body, do your research. Opinions from dr's on which brand implant run all over the chart ..ask members on here gain some insight on feel, firmness, reliability. The biggest take from this experience should be erections on demand for as long as you want, heal up with no infections .. and not need a revision for many years if at all .. best of luck to you.

[GoodWood]

Best of luck to you. As someone who is likely to need an implant soon I find these journals helpful. Thanks for posting the pics as well. It’s helpful to see the before, the process, and the after.

[backup2014]

I'm sure you have considered this question: Isn't a rock hard 6 inch dick better than a 8 inch floppy one? Friend there's no way I can walk in your shoes. Consider all the pros and cons and live with your decision and don't look back. It will never be normal again, whether you get the implant or not. I wish I had my 20 year old dick back again. But that ole boy is gone gone. I have never regretted getting the surgery. As you can see by my profile I have had some terrible issues with mine. But I kept going back and trying again. I wish I had a dick like yours, nice package even with the issues. I'm sure you'll be happy with your new improved dick. Looking forward to the after pics. God bless you sir.

[kampfmops]

The hospital called today and surgery is at 12:30 tomorrow afternoon. Thank god I can have coffee (plain) before 8:30!

I hope I have everything ready, mentally as well as around the house. Feeling nervous and kind of all over the place. Going to try to relax tonight and turn in early. Wish me luck.

[kampfmops]

Well, it's done.

I arrived at the hospital for check-in at 10 a.m. and they called me back to pre-op around 10:30. I got myself undressed, donning the always-in-fashion hospital gown, and they started the IV with antibiotics.

So many questions, from the pre-op nurse, the assisting surgeon, a nurse anesthetist, and the surgeon himself. When did I last eat? When did I last have something to drink? When did I last take such-and-such medication? At least they provided distraction.

They came to fetch me to the OR at about 12:50. It felt surreal that I was actually there, being wheeled into a very cold OR, about to have the procedure I was having. After all the safety checks, the OR team was super efficient in setting me up (thankfully with warm blankets). They used some sort of inflatable mattress gizmo to move me from the gurney to the operating table. That was interesting. The nurse anesthetist put a mask on me and had me take deep breaths. That's the last thing I remember.

I woke up in post-op around 5 p.m. I think. Felt a bit of discomfort in the junk, but not pain. (The catheter and collection bag are a pain in the ass though!) The nausea from the anesthesia was actually worse. The post-op nurse tried a few meds, but nothing helped. They sent me home, and I made it into my building, but not yet to my door, before I barfed. Luckily I had the bag they'd given me in post-op, and no neighbors were around.

I went right to bed, and slept until about 12:30 a.m. I got up to empty the collection bag and take one of my pain pills, then went back to bed until around 6 a.m. I tried having coffee, and checking messages, but couldn't do it, so it was back to bed. I woke up again around 9 a.m. feeling much better. A friend came by to walk the dog for me. I couldn't manage it with the bulge and catheter/bag. I'll be glad when the damn thing is gone this afternoon.

While getting here has been a rollercoaster, I have to thank everyone here for their thoughts and support.

[silver daddy 1960]

Congratulations !! Ice and meds but you are on your way!

[rdnkbiker]

looking good Kamp need anything just let us know

[kampfmops]

Had the unwrapping and catheter removal yesterday. That was an adventure. This is what was under the gauze. Maybe could use a little concealer?

[tomcat]

Congrats, Kamp! You're a brave man, and I wish you a speedy recovery. Feel free to keep in touch anytime.