Worried about not feeling in the moment with new partner

[FMLFML85]

I am single again and feeling very lonely. I had my hormones checked at the endocrinologist and they appear to be good. I was in a relationship while being implanted and sex was really just to maintain the relationship. I am worried that during sex with a new partner I will feel disconnected from what is happening and it will kill the mood. Before ED I was very assertive and it put my partners at ease knowing how eager I was because it would make them not feel self conscious and allow them to enjoy the moment. I used to love exploring their body's and taking it slow but sex with my ex was pretty much going straight to the penetration. I would have a very lacklustre orgasm and immediately want to remove myself from the situation because of anxiety. I want to feel the connection with a future partner and bring them slowly up to orgasm as we enjoy each others body's. I am worried that I wont be able to feel any connection with them because of having little sensation. During sex with my ex while implanted I would have to concentrate in a bad way in order to be able to ejaculate. It was stressful for me.

Anyways have any of you been able to find a new partner while implanted that you were able to have passionate sex where you felt in the moment? Have any of you been able to fall into very romantic kind of love? Do any of you see a beautiful woman and still have a strong urge to have sex with them?

[newhope]

feeling the moment doens't have much to do with the implant, but rather with the connection you have with your partner.
finding the right connection with the partner honestly it's the hardest part

[FMLFML85]

The connection used to happen organically because of how into them I was. I wonder if it really just depends on how horny I am. Im not horny at all anymore and I wonder if its because I dont have a natural erection anymore. Not feeling my self. I see beautiful women walking around but theres just no attraction to them anymore. My hormone levels are good so it must be something else thats holding me back.

How is your love life going newhope? are you able to enjoy foreplay with your partner or are you stuck in your head like I am?

[dan_bionic]

My recommendation: try to find joy in your sexual life now and don't so much look into relationships.
Relationships are not easy to find and very hard to maintain.

You now have a new life, find women that want to enjoy sex with you and you will be much happier after having great sex with them!
Cheers
Dan

[Txagq8]

I’m not a psychologist. Just a crusty 68 yr old ex-soldier, ex-oil field hand, current cowboy who tries to involve common sense in all my activities.

I can’t speak to finding a new partner. I’m still on the same one I’ve had for almost 40!years and I don’t cheat since she’s an excellent shot and I made the mistake of buying her a new handgun for our last anniversary.

Here’s what I think: you’re over-thinking this. The implant and your libido/detachment have nothing to do with each other.

Quit thinking of yourself as implanted. What you are is a guy who had his ED fixed surgically. No big deal.

You no longer have the burden of worrying about losing an erection. In any sexual encounter you can focus on you and focus on her and that erection is never going to betray you.

Love yourself so that you can love others. Sex is supposed to be fun, not something you have to worry about.

In high school I was a short, scrawny runt with a very small prepubescent dick. I didn’t really start puberty until I was nearly 17. Needless to say I wasn’t getting laid in the back of my vehicle like my friends.

When I finished growing, in my early 20s I was 6’2”, weighed 185, had a pretty good sized dick, and wasn’t bad looking. Still, the psychological scars were there.

I made a conscious decision to fake it til I make it. Exude self confidence even if you don’t have any. Not trying too hard doesn’t mean not trying at all. By the time I was in the Army (women actually do like masculine guys in uniform) I was pretty damned close to living the James Brown classic “sex machine.”

You don’t need to change your life around or join the Army. All I’m saying is relax, enjoy the journey, quit worrying about shit you cannot change. Continue to try and show your girlfriends a good time while having a good time yourself. Above all, love yourself. If you can’t do tgat, then others will see no reason to do so.

[Old Guy]

Don't think I could say it better than Txagq8
Being horny is a mind thing. That's where you need to direct all that worrying mind towards. Look at sexy females. Think of what you could do with them. Imagine yourself being with them.
Take your time with a new partner. You won't lose your erection. Enjoy the time with them.

[Alex258]

I am single again and feeling very lonely. I had my hormones checked at the endocrinologist and they appear to be good. I was in a relationship while being implanted and sex was really just to maintain the relationship. I am worried that during sex with a new partner I will feel disconnected from what is happening and it will kill the mood. Before ED I was very assertive and it put my partners at ease knowing how eager I was because it would make them not feel self conscious and allow them to enjoy the moment. I used to love exploring their body's and taking it slow but sex with my ex was pretty much going straight to the penetration. I would have a very lacklustre orgasm and immediately want to remove myself from the situation because of anxiety. I want to feel the connection with a future partner and bring them slowly up to orgasm as we enjoy each others body's. I am worried that I wont be able to feel any connection with them because of having little sensation. During sex with my ex while implanted I would have to concentrate in a bad way in order to be able to ejaculate. It was stressful for me.

Anyways have any of you been able to find a new partner while implanted that you were able to have passionate sex where you felt in the moment? Have any of you been able to fall into very romantic kind of love? Do any of you see a beautiful woman and still have a strong urge to have sex with them?

I think you've had some excellent wisdom from others on here. I respond once in awhile on here nbut I'm here now to let you know a couple of things. For myself it took quite some time with actually feeling those good sensations when fucking. I'm 20 months in, used it last night and my god it always feels like the real thing. Its been this way each and every time and I don't even think that I have an implant. It feels that good. Wherever you're at...this just takes time to heal. I had a bad case of Floppy Penis Head for quite some time and that too has fully resolved itself. GL to ya and have fun out there.

[FMLFML85]

Thanks for the words everyone. Glade to hear your implants are working out for you guys.

[Mark1974]

The connection used to happen organically because of how into them I was. I wonder if it really just depends on how horny I am. Im not horny at all anymore and I wonder if its because I dont have a natural erection anymore. Not feeling my self. I see beautiful women walking around but theres just no attraction to them anymore. My hormone levels are good so it must be something else thats holding me back.

How is your love life going newhope? are you able to enjoy foreplay with your partner or are you stuck in your head like I am?

This is something I think about with the implant. I am having one done in December

But I can say that my horniness for me depends on time between ejaculations. The longer it has been since I have released energy the more that is in my body and this makes me think about sex more. At a certain pint after two-three weeks I really start to feel it

I wonder how this will work with the implant

[FMLFML85]

The connection used to happen organically because of how into them I was. I wonder if it really just depends on how horny I am. Im not horny at all anymore and I wonder if its because I dont have a natural erection anymore. Not feeling my self. I see beautiful women walking around but theres just no attraction to them anymore. My hormone levels are good so it must be something else thats holding me back.

How is your love life going newhope? are you able to enjoy foreplay with your partner or are you stuck in your head like I am?

This is something I think about with the implant. I am having one done in December

But I can say that my horniness for me depends on time between ejaculations. The longer it has been since I have released energy the more that is in my body and this makes me think about sex more. At a certain pint after two-three weeks I really start to feel it

I wonder how this will work with the implant

I also had alot of family members die lately and had to have a colostomy bag attached to me after a total collectomy so I have other reasons as to why my libido is low. If I were you Id concentrate on working on mysely. Get fit, eat well, and if your depressed you might want to consider getting on medication for it. Try to fix all your other problems and I would imagine like the other men in this thread you will be enjoying your new love life. One thing that does make me wonder is when is the right time to inflate your implant. I suppose building up the sextual tension with flirting and then foreplay to the point you know your partner wants to get down to the deed would be important to maximise pleasure.