Possible new partner/my approach with performance anxiety

[cbr1100xxrules]

54 yrs old. Have had performance anxiety/ED on/off for years. All mental.
Early on I got on injections, then pills (via lid and now Avanafil) They helped in casual relationships. Get nasal congestion from pills.

Had a 3.5yr relationship that ended in 2019. She was super hot and I was having sex drug free after a couple months. When I’m comfortable with a partner and told her I don’t fuck well the first month bc of anxiety, she was cool with it and I of course stopped worrying much about performing.

Same thing happened in a 6 mo relationship after that. Was ok after a month or so but wasn’t really attracted enough to this woman so I ended it. But she’s still a good friend.

Now a new woman and I seem to be hitting it off. She has already been flirting with me sexually verbally. She’s very attractive and younger by over a decade.

I don’t like it the start of these relationships so I will tell her eventually about my performance anxiety early on when/if things get physical. Hopefully she is cool with it. Being considerably younger than me, I do sort of feel like a use it or lose it but she said she’s not into casual sex either. So that’s a plus.

I will probably take some of my Avanafil in the beginning. These days I have anxiety about staying hard for blowjobs. That NEVER was the case in my 20s. Don’t know how this happened. If things progress, I will hopefully ween myself off the drugs which also only work if I’m somewhat relaxed. I of course will offer and do all kinds of other stuff like giving oral as much as she wants. Hopefully she can get off that way an enjoys it.

So we’ll see how this goes. I definitely don’t want to ever go the implant route to be honest. I had surgery before down there to remove excess sagging skin on my scrotum. That worked well. But that’s enough.

Wish me luck. (Crossed fingers)

[jwjwjw]

You mentioned injections...... So did you try Trimix ?

If so....did Trimix not work?

[cbr1100xxrules]

You mentioned injections...... So did you try Trimix ?

If so....did Trimix not work?

Yes, injections did work. I haven't used them in like 25-30yrs. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever go that route again. Mostly b/c I don't have a physical problem. Also b/c I didn't like the injections. Often my penis ached after, it would stay hard too long after...etc. Pills usually get me over the hump in the beginning of relationships and then I usually need nothing as I don't have a physical problem, just mental. If I get dumped or whatever b/c I'm not "peforming" well the first month or so.........so be it. Then she wasn't for me. I'd honestly rather have that happen then go back to injections.

[Flavio]

Sexual performance anxiety used to be a big problem for me, not anymore.

A few tips:

a) The nervous system plays an essential part in sexual function. Some people may have an overactive sympathetic system, try to find ways to limit sympathetic activity and promote parasympathetic activity.

b) I used a very simple trick to overcome my anxiety: if I had a negative sexual experience, I would avoid sex for a few days or weeks, just to clear my mind.

c) I still use a natural supplement called Seredyn 30 min. before sex, no side effects, no drowsiness.

d) Knowledge is power, the more you know about sex, the less stressful it will be. Read books, consult good websites, talk to doctors. It's no shame to seek professional help, a urologist can help in cases of performance anxiety.