How to not kill myself?...

[secondchance]

I understand I'm probably not the only one here that's been through some serious suicidal thoughts. It's not so bad if I'm just hanging out with my family but as soon as I'm out the door it can be a war zone for me. I feel like sex is such a big part of life, even when sex isn't literally involved, there's sex vibes everywhere between men and women and I have to check myself out because I'm dysfunctional. Yesterday my suicidal thoughts were so strong, the only thing that saved me was looking at youtube videos of people who had lost a loved one to suicide and how it impacted them. I couldn't help myself, I started to cry. I guess that was an attempt to keep myself alive... I don't want to call the suicide hotline because I'm afraid they will trace my call and send me to the psych ward. And talking about my ED to someone on a suicide hotline just doesn't sit well with me. I'm on the edge please help, you guys are the only people i can talk to. I don't want to die but sometimes it's calling me.

I ended up on a forum where men were talking about using cheap shockwave machines from aliexpress to treat ED. They seemed to be having great results... I tried it and fucked up my urethra and now I'm leaking urine all day. What's worse is I think I have soft glans syndrome from it which effects how well an implant would work. So now I feel I'm screwed no matter what. That feeling that I'm screwed forever really devastates me, and what's worse is my own stupidity caused this. I need to find a reason to live, that's the only thing that will save me at this point. Please help me.

[QualityLife]

Soft glans is an issue but it's not a dealbreaker. You can work around it if you want (pills, cock rings, vitaros - gel) and you may respond well to something. Or physiotherapy could help, along with neuroregenerative medicine - and there's a lot of research and development being done in this field.
Once again, soft glans IS NOT a dealbreaker and many men with implant enjoy their sweet time with this issue just fine. I've seen one guy talking about how his wife actually prefers that.

How not to kill yourself...I'm younger than you and dealing with just the same issues. And there's many others who made it through and of some of them we're aware, and the rest is happily fucking. Maybe that's 'how' - the perspective that we can be just as happy as before all this. Try to do everything to bring yourself back to the game naturally, and if nothing works just go on with the implant idea and leave ED struggles behind.
Have that in mind you're twice the age of some guys who had it done when they were 18, and there's a good bunch of them. One of them here had it done when he was 18 and he's now 42 or 44, I can't recall. Anyways, close to 30 years of being a better lover than everyone around.

One thing that helps me personally is just to go on with life just how it was before my injury. Be as flirty as I was before and see where it's heading. Sometimes we got a false view on how many intercourses we might be having if not for ED and it's that false view that gets us depressed. Is there a girl standing by your window right now asking to screw her? I hope u get what I'm saying. Try to improve yourself in any other part of life and when the time comes, make a decision on what way you want to proceed with in treating ED. Our sexual life ain't over. We're just TEMPORARILY inactive in it.

[secondchance]

Hey QualityLife, thanks man. I get what you're saying and really appreciate it. I think sometimes i just think myself into a black hole... I'm happy to hear soft glans isn't a deal breaker. I'm already double dosing Cialis daily(10mg per day) still nothing, no morning wood and very hard to achieve and maintain an erection. I also hear about these regenerative therapies but I think that's way in the future, who knows though... Gotta have faith. How's your implant going? Would love to hear about it.

[QualityLife]

Hey QualityLife, thanks man. I get what you're saying and really appreciate it. I think sometimes i just think myself into a black hole... I'm happy to hear soft glans isn't a deal breaker. I'm already double dosing Cialis daily(10mg per day) still nothing, no morning wood and very hard to achieve and maintain an erection. I also hear about these regenerative therapies but I think that's way in the future, who knows though... Gotta have faith. How's your implant going? Would love to hear about it.

I don't have an implant yet, but I'm researching it a lot. Still trying to bounce back naturally, but if nothing proves useful for me then I know the way I'll follow to leave sad times behind. PM me, I'll invite you to a discord server with guys who deal with same type of issues.

[Martin6469]

Secondchance: In my younger days I'd occasionally go limp. I would slide down and lick her clit, putting her on Cloud 9, and she'd throw her arms around me pleased as could be. To any woman, tongue action feels better than any penis not enormous. This is your Plan B for keeping your confidence up when your penis isn't. Women with any experience know that guys go limp from time to time, and guys who give them orgasms nevertheless, get their friendship and understanding. If you need guidance on how to lick clits, the Internet has plenty of videos.

The standard Cialis dose is 20mg. I used that for some years until old age switched me to injecting.

Many of us inject with good results. I've injected Trimix for seven years and could not be more pleased. Sure, it's tricky and takes a little time to learn, but this would be your next logical step before an implant. It might bypass your supposed arterial insufficiency. If you don't like pain (who does?) I can tell you how to inject painlessly or almost painlessly. Spend some time reading through the "Injections" topic and you'll get familiar with the procedure. And injecting is certainly a lot cheaper than an implant!

Keep us posted. PM me if I can help.

[Jgoody]

Hey bro. Sucks to hear how bad it's got you feeling but I sympathize. I had Ed from 18 on. Had 2 girls before that it somehow worked but then nothing. But I understand your depression & hope you figure it out. My 20s were spent avoiding sex but too horny to not let it get there & try again & even having full on relationships with it not working. Eventually pills helped for awhile once a Dr finally believed me then injections really worked for a bit. Have you tried injections? I was just implanted 3 weeks ago tho & it's amazing. I just had my 1st real sex last night. I'm pretty sure they put the cylinders into the glans now (I know mine are) which would rectify the glans issue if I'm not mistaken. But I am grateful I was able to do this & I'm certain you have options so go see a urologist dude! I know the feelings you're having & am grateful I don't have them anymore but would like you to get there too. I often think how shitty life would have been in the 1800s with this condition & no fixes. Think I would have been an outlaw or serial killer lol. Good luck brother

[UKHelper2024]

You posted this a month ago and I'm glad you're still here. The depression you get having ED problems is insane and not everyone really gets it. I've had it to the point I've attempted suicide a few times. My partner of 4 years has been through ED with me since the day we met and we're still together stronger than ever, she's never made me feel uncomfortable or guilty and I STILL have suicidal faults. It's crazy but having these problems just makes you feel less of a man, we're supposed to have sex when we want and get erections when ever and we're just the unlucky ones that have to go through life without experiencing these things. Right now I'm in a good place in terms of looking to the future. The more I spend reading other peoples stories and the outcome of what they are doing injections/implant it makes me feel hopeful.

Please don't ever feel alone, you can message me privately if you like I'm more than happy to be just a person you can unload on.

[cbr1100xxrules]

Hey bro. Sucks to hear how bad it's got you feeling but I sympathize. I had Ed from 18 on. Had 2 girls before that it somehow worked but then nothing. But I understand your depression & hope you figure it out. My 20s were spent avoiding sex but too horny to not let it get there & try again & even having full on relationships with it not working. Eventually pills helped for awhile once a Dr finally believed me then injections really worked for a bit. Have you tried injections? I was just implanted 3 weeks ago tho & it's amazing. I just had my 1st real sex last night. I'm pretty sure they put the cylinders into the glans now (I know mine are) which would rectify the glans issue if I'm not mistaken. But I am grateful I was able to do this & I'm certain you have options so go see a urologist dude! I know the feelings you're having & am grateful I don't have them anymore but would like you to get there too. I often think how shitty life would have been in the 1800s with this condition & no fixes. Think I would have been an outlaw or serial killer lol. Good luck brother

What was the cause of your ED? Was it physical or mental? Could you get hard masturbating alone?

[cbr1100xxrules]

SecondChance,
If I were you, I would definitely try the injections first. I had really bad performance anxiety (still do with new partners) and was on injections in my 20s! I used them many many times until the pills came out. Injections are much more potent and fail proof than pills IMO. And once you get the hang of it, injecting is pretty easy.
I would try that first and if that doesn't work, I'm betting an implant would. Injections are a relatively easy thing to try out. Just visit a urologist.

[secondchance]

SecondChance,
If I were you, I would definitely try the injections first. I had really bad performance anxiety (still do with new partners) and was on injections in my 20s! I used them many many times until the pills came out. Injections are much more potent and fail proof than pills IMO. And once you get the hang of it, injecting is pretty easy.
I would try that first and if that doesn't work, I'm betting an implant would. Injections are a relatively easy thing to try out. Just visit a urologist.

Thanks man that's my next move