Being single with ED

[qcswral]

I know somewhere on this forum there is a thread for "young" (under age 40 I believe) and being single.....But I'd just would like some comments concerning those of us in our 50's and 60's who are single and dealing with ED....I was married for some 25 years and fathered 2 beautiful and successful kids..the last 5 years of my marriage were sex-less......all due to marital difficulties and my wife gaining an enormous amount of weight which just made her sexually unattractive to me...never really struggled with ED until then...but I chalked it up to a bad marriage. We legally separated some 7 years ago and I went about making up for lost time sexually.....due to the nerves that comes alomg with being with a new woman, I started taking like 50mgs of Viagra with great success....over the past 7 years I've had 3 somewhat serious relationships, 2 of them with younger women...as the years went on the Viagra dose increased to 100mgs....worked like a charm. I could go twice within 1 night or afternoon....the last relationship I was in was with a much younger woman who was 1 of the most sexy attractive women I had been with sexually..as my ED worsened I feared losing her...during that time I had to have cardiac by=pass surgery and eventually went to Trimix injections after several embarrassing encounters of "limp dick" syndrome.....I remember one time not being able to get hard looking down at this beautiful woman giving me oral sex...the anger and depression was too much to bear..my body was failing me in a way I never dreamed it would frankly....I remember being so relaxed and turned on but it was if another body was attached to me....WTF?..little harry was just not waking up....
We have since parted ways, and I never told her I was injecting towards the end of the relationship...but I hate the whole thing...all the anxiety of being with a new woman....Yea yea, all the relax crap, enjoy the moment doesn't stop the reality that a woman wants to be satisfied....and the hurt when you are dating someone and they tell you about how good their past lovers were. AS we all know, woman can be so cruel...sometimes totally unaware of how those comments strike a guy struggling with ED.....The whole dating at my age and hoping to find a loving understanding woman and the dissapointment of not finding her makes one want to just live a celibate life....
Those of you who have loving understanding long term partners....you're so lucky you have no idea....you have the comfort to experiment with all sorts of aids, etc without feeling rejected just by the sheer length of your relationships. I find myself avoiding my lover.....I call her a lover because the relationship is built on sex...she wants nothing to do with a serious relationship....but enjoys our time sexually together...at least until I had to stop injecting because of scarring...anyway I started this thread because I think we single older guys have a unique story and a much different experience than some of the other guys on the forum...please, I am in no way diminishing your frustrations, anxieties etc with ED and your relationships with your partners...
But every time we single guys have our first encounter with a new woman it's proabaly one of the most stressful situations for us...which of course adds another impediment to our desire and ability to have an erection..I just needed to vent...partially because I have a date this weekend with a woman I've seen in the past....and I know or believe we may end up in bed...and I'm a different man than I was when I was seeing her some years back..It's like coming up on a car wreck...your curosity pulls you to slow and look...but at the same time you want to desperately avoid it.....I'm not suppose to try injecting again till another month...but right now I feel like F-ck it....just do it....I know I'm not alone in this struggle as a single older man....and it would be good to hear how others cope with this bottomless pit of anxiety, despair and at times yes elation...

[rlm1818]

Well, an implant would probably solve your problem.

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3699

PM me if you want to talk on the phone.

[Anonymous2]

Hi, Please just take the advice and don't inject, just wait, as for an implant keep this as a very last resort, and I do mean the very last, I know one guy on here, no names, who wish's he had never had the fucking thing done, his kind words.

I think reading this your main problem has been stress, you have brought this up a few times, when it comes to sex relax, you not there to impress her, but make love to her, ease into it, drink some wine be more relaxed and let the moment happen, and remember its not a race to orgasm, its slow gentle love making, enjoy the moment and most of all let her enjoy your body and the moment.

But first you need to be healthy, in body and mind for good sex, so if your not fit get fit, if your over weight lose it, if you think your drinking to much cut it right down, just keep to some good red wine, and to be healthy we need to eat right, so forget fast foods and junk foods and sodas, if need be just drink water.

Get all this working then try some sex with a women, without drugs just to see what happens, but slowly, in a relaxed way, feel the moment and if it happens feel the orgasm.

I have some posts on here for herbs, see Viagra need not work for me, so I had to go this way, and it worked, so just read them and either try them or just discard them.
But as you will see there were posted from NOHARD which has now become NOWHARD, so.
DRUGS VERSUS HERBS, HERBS MY CHOICE
DRUGS VERSUS HERBS, HERBS MY CHOICE DAILY INTAKE
NOHARDS HERB LIST WITH LINKS
NOHARDS HERBS FOR ED, PART 2

These may just get you up and hard again, could be worth a try, some of these you may have around your home now, there that simple, and they do work.
Good Luck

[rlm1818]

Hi, Please just take the advice and don't inject, just wait, as for an implant keep this as a very last resort, and I do mean the very last, I know one guy on here, no names, who wish's he had never had the fucking thing done, his kind words.

Before I had my implant I had to sign a legal document three times, IIRC, that more or less stated I had tried every possible solution (and they were all enumerated) and found that either they didn't work or were unsatisfactory. So, I would agree 1000% that if you have something that works satisfactorily, don't do an implant.

One of the nice things about FT, and the implant forum in particular, is that you can read many, and I would guess several hundred, first hand accounts of guys who got implants. You shouldn't rely on just one negative, second hand account to investigate this option. The vast majority of guys are very very happy, even ecstatic, with their implants. Yeah, there are risks, make no mistake. As a guy who has either been married or in a committed relationship almost all my life, I have more recently been single and dating. Having an implant has made an enormous, positive, improvement in my life. Do not underestimate the small but real risk, but also definitely do not underestimate what a huge improvement a successful implant can bring.

[qcswral]

I do very much appreciate all your comments....I will look into those threads about the herbs..I do take supplements like CoQ-10, L-Arginine etc..so I am very open to alternative treatments if that's the correct word..as far as being in shape...well I'm 59 years old, never smoked, not any where near over-weight, only drank/drink socially, and I exercise on a regular basis. If I'm not at the gym, I am surfing, riding my bike etc...since my by=pass surgery, I am practically a vegetarian..and even before that surgery, I was the guy ordering the salmon at weddings while every one else was ordering the prime ribs....I have gotten physicals every year since I turned 45....My Doc told me if anyone looked at my medical profile they would have put me at low risk for heart disease...everything was/is in my favor but my genetics.....which you can't change. I aslo learned through my cardiac surgery that more than half of the guys getting by-pass operations have stents have "normal" cholesterol levels.....I'm not diabetic but my Doc wants my cholesterol at the level he likes to have his diabeteic patients to be at....my last total cholesterol was 100...that's right you read it right 100....so with that being said...I have already begun speaking with some people who have had implants done...But I assure you, I am not running to a surgeon....It would definitely be a last resort....the question is what's one man's "last resort" is another man's second to the last resort..lol...I started the thread as a means to engage guys who are single like me, in their 50's and 60's and struggling or maybe just dealing with ED. I have many many loyal great friends who I travel the world with surfing....but ED is not something you start bullsh-tting about over beers with the boyz....except for my very close and best friend who's older than me and is glad he has ED...he's married..and I guess it's a long story..lol..Anyway, thank you all for your comments and support.....

[rlm1818]

my Doc wants my cholesterol at the level he likes to have his diabeteic patients to be at....my last total cholesterol was 100...that's right you read it right 100

Well, you are probably doing this, but you should be checking your testosterone and thyroid levels, and all the related items (LH, DHEA, estradiol, etc). You need cholesterol to make testosterone. Your comment about low cholesterol made me think to suggest testing these items. I think this book isn't bad when it comes to testosterone, and it includes suggestions too on vitamin, mineral and herbal supplements. Low T and low thyroid can cause ED. Heart and cardiac probems too.

http://www.amazon.com/Improving-Male-Se ... 531&sr=1-4

[qcswral]

my Doc wants my cholesterol at the level he likes to have his diabeteic patients to be at....my last total cholesterol was 100...that's right you read it right 100

Well, you are probably doing this, but you should be checking your testosterone and thyroid levels, and all the related items (LH, DHEA, estradiol, etc). You need cholesterol to make testosterone. Your comment about low cholesterol made me think to suggest testing these items. I think this book isn't bad when it comes to testosterone, and it includes suggestions too on vitamin, mineral and herbal supplements. Low T and low thyroid can cause ED. Heart and cardiac probems too.

http://www.amazon.com/Improving-Male-Se ... 531&sr=1-4

hahahaha....sorry..I'm laughing because the last T test I had my Doc said my levels were "Uh, robust"....he says I have the testicles of a 25 year old....I said I know...it's a curse....the urges sometimes are unbearable, but the the other part of my sexual organ at times refuses to cooperate....I've been to 2 different URO Docs and both have said to me after examining me and reading my lab work.."Well I see desire's not a problem"......At the risk of diagnosing myself I think my coronary artery disease ( or should I say I've been told that) is the underlying physical cause of my ED..it's actually textbook...ED in my early 50's followed by a by-pass operation some 5 years later....couple that with the psychological factors....wham,,,,ED....the lack of my body responding to sexual stimuli sends me into a zone that is not condusive to having sex...so I guess I should kick back with a glass of wine or beer and just cuddle with this lady and..whatever will be will be...

[Andy425]

my Doc wants my cholesterol at the level he likes to have his diabeteic patients to be at....my last total cholesterol was 100...that's right you read it right 100

Well, you are probably doing this, but you should be checking your testosterone and thyroid levels, and all the related items (LH, DHEA, estradiol, etc). You need cholesterol to make testosterone. Your comment about low cholesterol made me think to suggest testing these items. I think this book isn't bad when it comes to testosterone, and it includes suggestions too on vitamin, mineral and herbal supplements. Low T and low thyroid can cause ED. Heart and cardiac probems too.

http://www.amazon.com/Improving-Male-Se ... 531&sr=1-4

hahahaha....sorry..I'm laughing because the last T test I had my Doc said my levels were "Uh, robust"....he says I have the testicles of a 25 year old....I said I know...it's a curse....the urges sometimes are unbearable, but the the other part of my sexual organ at times refuses to cooperate....I've been to 2 different URO Docs and both have said to me after examining me and reading my lab work.."Well I see desire's not a problem"......At the risk of diagnosing myself I think my coronary artery disease ( or should I say I've been told that) is the underlying physical cause of my ED..it's actually textbook...ED in my early 50's followed by a by-pass operation some 5 years later....couple that with the psychological factors....wham,,,,ED....the lack of my body responding to sexual stimuli sends me into a zone that is not condusive to having sex...so I guess I should kick back with a glass of wine or beer and just cuddle with this lady and..whatever will be will be...

The easiest thing for me to do is just avoid women. There are a few I interact with IRL, a couple might be in reach -- literally -- but I don't push it like I used to because I know there's no end game. Or at least nothing remotely like I used to have. I was almost done with them anyway two years ago when I had prostate surgery, so it wasn't a huge step to take.

Here's some more I wrote about this a few weeks ago, on another thread here.

[wolfpacker]

Well, you are probably doing this, but you should be checking your testosterone and thyroid levels, and all the related items (LH, DHEA, estradiol, etc). You need cholesterol to make testosterone. Your comment about low cholesterol made me think to suggest testing these items. I think this book isn't bad when it comes to testosterone, and it includes suggestions too on vitamin, mineral and herbal supplements. Low T and low thyroid can cause ED. Heart and cardiac probems too.

http://www.amazon.com/Improving-Male-Se ... 531&sr=1-4

hahahaha....sorry..I'm laughing because the last T test I had my Doc said my levels were "Uh, robust"....he says I have the testicles of a 25 year old....I said I know...it's a curse....the urges sometimes are unbearable, but the the other part of my sexual organ at times refuses to cooperate....I've been to 2 different URO Docs and both have said to me after examining me and reading my lab work.."Well I see desire's not a problem"......At the risk of diagnosing myself I think my coronary artery disease ( or should I say I've been told that) is the underlying physical cause of my ED..it's actually textbook...ED in my early 50's followed by a by-pass operation some 5 years later....couple that with the psychological factors....wham,,,,ED....the lack of my body responding to sexual stimuli sends me into a zone that is not condusive to having sex...so I guess I should kick back with a glass of wine or beer and just cuddle with this lady and..whatever will be will be...

The easiest thing for me to do is just avoid women. There are a few I interact with IRL, a couple might be in reach -- literally -- but I don't push it like I used to because I know there's no end game. Or at least nothing remotely like I used to have. I was almost done with them anyway two years ago when I had prostate surgery, so it wasn't a huge step to take.

Here's some more I wrote about this a few weeks ago, on another thread here.

Avoiding women? Is the implant really THAT bad of an option? I am sure that you will not be avoiding women if you had a penis that could become rock hard on command, in seconds, and stay that way until you're done pleasing her.

[Anonymous2]

Hi Back Again, just a couple of things to try, if you have read through my stuff your see your see that I have a hardwear ice cock ring, there are others, but mine works well, just go to http://www.myhardwear.com
Now if you add in to this a bathmate, the bathmate would bring blood into your penis and should make it hard, you can get another ring this would hold it there, bingo one erect penis, good enough for sex.
Look this up for bands, the Osbon tension bands, just google it.
Now if you start doing kegels and start doing some jelqing, again this would get some blood moving down your penis, both of these exercises you can find on http://www.pegym.com your also find bathmate on there.
These are just some ways you can help yourself to get going again, but I think you may know where you real problem lays, when it comes to sex your getting stressed and just chuck in some anxiety, the Viagra and injections were getting you over this, till you were getting scaring, and scaring would lead to pyronies , so now your here.
Have a good look through the herb lists, there is lots of help, but its down to finding the right mix, that is the key, but each of us is different, mine would be a start.
Glad you a health freak and exercise, that a big step some of us all could do with.
Good Luck