My Story: Any Advice on How to Handle This?

[HealingJourney]

Hello everyone, I've been following this forum for a while, and I think it's time to share my story with you all to seek support, advice, and most importantly, to not feel alone in this battle.

I am 35 years old, and I discovered I had erectile dysfunction when I was 20, after my first sexual experiences with my girlfriend (now my wife).

During masturbation, I never noticed anything wrong, but when I started having sex, I realized I couldn't maintain an erection without continuous stimulation. I could never put on a condom or have a complete sexual experience—NEVER.

I went to my general practitioner, explained the situation, but he downplayed it (without examining me) and said it was just a psychological issue related to anxiety. Because of this, I tried not to think about it in the early years, hoping it would improve with time and experience, but it didn’t. There were several reasons why I didn’t pursue further treatment at the beginning: shame, financial issues (I started working at 27), and in the meantime, I was also helping my partner cope with severe depression due to obsessive-compulsive disorder. This situation naturally had a strong impact on our sexual life, with minimal interest in sex from my wife, at least at the beginning.

This whole situation, along with my struggles, eventually became an obsession, to the point where I developed ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune intestinal condition that causes severe abdominal pain and bloody diarrhea.

Then, things began to change. We started working, and financial and anxiety issues slowly decreased. My colitis went into remission, and I learned to live with the disease, with ups and downs.

After the pandemic, we bought a house and got married (I was never fully convinced about this choice. I always thought I should solve my big problem first and then get married. I didn’t want to give my wife an unhappy life, but she opposed this and said the only unhappy life would be without me). So, for me, it was time to finally face the problem and get out of this nightmare.

During this period, my colitis worsened, and it stopped responding to treatments, so I switched to immunosuppressants, and in the following months, I went into remission again.

We went to a specialist, but again, he didn’t examine me. He prescribed some supplements (I don’t remember the name) and generic Cialis (5 mg) to take daily and gradually reduce until stopping. With the pills, I immediately noticed an improvement in my erections, meaning I could get them easily, but the issue of losing the erection remained. When I was very aroused, I could maintain the erection a bit longer and start intercourse, but the final result was always the same: loss of erection and inability to regain it.

The doctor who prescribed the pills was available by phone, but when I called to explain the problems, he insisted that the issue was psychological and that I needed a sexologist.

Not being fully convinced, I switched doctors and saw Carlo Bettocchi (I later found out he performs penile prosthesis surgeries). He listened to me and had me do a penile color Doppler ultrasound, which revealed a vascular problem (I couldn’t achieve an erection despite 20 mg Caverject). He reassured me, saying that the problem could be resolved one way or another, and he also mentioned I had a foreskin issue and that ideally, I should undergo circumcision (which I haven’t done yet). He recommended shockwave therapy—8 sessions (one per week)—and then repeating the penile Doppler ultrasound. Along with the first shockwave session, he advised starting a daily regimen of Vintox (generic Cialis) 5 mg at the same time every day.

I noticed a slight improvement, but the issue of losing the erection remained. During the second Doppler ultrasound, I had a weak erection that tended to fade. However, the doctor said everything was normal but wanted to see me again in case there were still issues (I’m not sure if he has doubts). He also added Rabestrom 100 mg (an orodispersible film containing sildenafil citrate, equivalent to 100 mg of sildenafil) to take as needed.

The combination of the two treatments definitely helped. I had better experiences than before, but the final result was still the same.

I decided to try psychotherapy for 6 months, with weekly sessions. The therapist told me I didn’t need any medication for my erectile dysfunction, and I followed his advice. After 6 months, the situation worsened. Without the support of medication, my erections significantly worsened. During therapy, we worked on my anxiety management, self-esteem, and how to approach challenges in general. I also realized that, over time, I had turned more to pornography to compensate for my disappointing sex life, and I believe this may have negatively impacted an already difficult situation.

I also tried NoFap. I managed to go two months without relapsing, after which I noticed erections similar to what I get with 5 mg Cialis. However, the loss of erection remained.

After 6 months with no improvement, I decided to stop psychotherapy and started considering a penile prosthesis implant. I’ve already scheduled a consultation (which I’ll attend on Wednesday) with Dr. Bettocchi, where I’ll explain that I’m not at all satisfied with how I’ve been living this, and I’m truly exhausted. I want a definitive solution that will restore my mental health and my sex life.

What also makes me feel bad is that my wife is always by my side. Despite everything, she supports me and gives me so much attention. I want to make her happy. I have to do it. She deserves it, and I deserve it too. I believe no one should suffer like I do.

I want to explain to the doctor that I still don’t have spontaneous erections. I rarely have morning erections, and when I do, they are weak and disappear as soon as I get out of bed. The issue with maintaining an erection happens always and regardless of whether I’m alone or with my wife, whether I’m highly aroused or not, whether I take medication or not. It happens every time.

I’ve also thought about suicide, but I don’t have the courage, and it wouldn’t solve anything anyway. I would just make the people who love me suffer even more. Also, apparently, to everyone else, I have a perfect life: a great job, a beautiful wife, a house with every comfort imaginable. I’ve always taken care of my physical fitness and train three times a week, with an athletic body. I’ve never smoked or used drugs.

I’m truly broken right now. It feels like every effort is useless. I’m desperate. At this point, I feel I have nothing to lose, so I’m willing to try anything. I’ve also decided I will undergo circumcision (sometimes it causes me problems and pain during sex), hoping it may help in some way.

I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I know my father had very similar problems at my age and even had varicocele surgery. My younger brother suffers from varicocele, and we all have venous problems in the family (hemorrhoids, varicose veins, etc.).

I’m convinced that I suffer from venous leakage, and that psychological issues are a consequence of all this, not the cause.

A friend of mine (over 50 years old and diabetic) was treated by Dr. Bettocchi, first with a hydraulic penile prosthesis implant and then with circumcision (performed by another doctor), and he overcame his issues (he hadn’t had an erection in almost two years).

Do you think it’s possible and advisable to undergo both circumcision and penile prosthesis surgery on the same day?

Given my age, which type of prosthesis would be most suitable for me? I have already searched for answers to this question, but I keep finding conflicting opinions, sometimes from people who don’t even have a prosthesis themselves. I realize that with the hydraulic one, I would need revisions every 10 years (if all goes well), but I’ve also read posts from people who discourage this type of prosthesis in relatively young patients like me. Some even say that each revision increases the risk of infection, and it can’t be done forever. Eventually, you reach a point where a prosthesis can no longer be implanted. Also, since I’m on immunosuppressants, how should I proceed?

For someone very physically active, are there limitations? Are there any exercises to avoid in the gym that might put pressure on the components and cause issues?

Sorry for the long post and the venting. I just want to get support from those who truly understand what I’m going through.

[Old Guy]

Glad you found Frank Talk and could tell your story. ED is frustrating and makes many men question themself.
Read the posts here to learn that there are many like you who have tried numerous fixes and just ended up frustrated and depressed. Hopefully you've connected with a men's sexual health urologist who specializes in ED.
If you're contemplating an implant that is a solid fix, but there is no going back. Have to say I love my implant, wish I would have got it done before taking all the pills and sticking needles in my penis that failed after a time. Each failure was like going into ED again and again.
Best of luck moving forward.

[equusAz]

First of all, welcome to the forum! Always remember, there are no BAD questions here. Suicide is never the answer - and I'm glad you found this place and the support it brings. It sounds like your wife is awefully supportive - so that helps a LOT.

Second, congratulations on making it through all that you have gone through, Thats quite the story, and as I read it, it sounds like you made the right decisions in the right order - your first PCP was an idiot, but hey, they are people too, and people are prone to failure.

If you have a venous leak that is bad enough, then in implant might be the only answer. Injections aren't for everybody - and they caused issues for me, so after a year of injections I went to an implant - though I wish I had done it sooner - but hindsight is always 20/20 - my ED was caused by Prostatectomy - but the outcome was the same - no erections. Age is never a factor in getting an implant - its the cause as to why. If you can't get and maintain an erection due to ED - and this includes using treatment such as pills / injections - then you should get an IPP / MPP.

As far as recomendations, it is truly going to depend on your size, physiology, any issues with Peyrones (you didn't mention that - so probably not an issue) as well as other considerations. There are pros and cons for each one.

My biggest recomendation would be to research physicians who do implants and make certain the one you choose is part of a 'Center for Excelence' which means a fellowship in doing implants, and that they do a decent amount of them in a year. A lot of guys on here will recomend ONLY going to one of three or four high-volume implanters, but - IMO I went to a Center for Excelence doctor (Dr. Cohen Chesapeake Urology in Baltimore) and he did a great job.

Not to put a wrench into your plans, but also make certain your insurance covers the proceedure if you are in the US. If not - it will most likely be covered under your national health plan.

Best of luck to you on your journey!

[Kodixx]

HealingJourney,

Glad you found FrankTalk as I did a few years ago. Although my situation is different than yours, many of the considerations regarding an implant are the same. Malleable vs Inflatable - if inflatable, AMS vs Titan - then type of procedure, infrapubic vs penoscrotal - how to locate, interview and select an implanter. There are many many great threads describing guys' experiences with all of those choices. BTW here's a link to a thread with good info about type of procedure:
https://www.franktalk.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=26081&p=247983#p247975

But as you described your young age and potential for revision surgeries is an additional consideration. I can only paraphrase something another forum member wrote a short time ago - that all things medical change rapidly over time and for all we know, they'll be growing new penises from stem cells within the next 10 years But nothing replaces the time lost suffering the way you described. Its reported there are 20,000 implant procedures preformed every year in the US and the satisfaction rating remains very high. FrankTalk is a terrific resource - but it may be weighted more heavily towards guys who have had problems and are seeking answers. Just something to keep in mind.

Good luck with your journey. My experience is that forum members on FrankTalk are incredibily helpful and available to share their experiences when asked. I've seen several posts recently from younger guys with similar concerns as yours.

- Chuck

Hello everyone, I've been following this forum for a while, and I think it's time to share my story with you all to seek support, advice, and most importantly, to not feel alone in this battle.

[asjo14]

Hi Healingjourney,

I just sent you a private message about this. I'm new to this forum so not very savvy with using it - hopefully you received the PM?

[Alex258]

Hello everyone, I've been following this forum for a while, and I think it's time to share my story with you all to seek support, advice, and most importantly, to not feel alone in this battle.

I am 35 years old, and I discovered I had erectile dysfunction when I was 20, after my first sexual experiences with my girlfriend (now my wife).

During masturbation, I never noticed anything wrong, but when I started having sex, I realized I couldn't maintain an erection without continuous stimulation. I could never put on a condom or have a complete sexual experience—NEVER.

I went to my general practitioner, explained the situation, but he downplayed it (without examining me) and said it was just a psychological issue related to anxiety. Because of this, I tried not to think about it in the early years, hoping it would improve with time and experience, but it didn’t. There were several reasons why I didn’t pursue further treatment at the beginning: shame, financial issues (I started working at 27), and in the meantime, I was also helping my partner cope with severe depression due to obsessive-compulsive disorder. This situation naturally had a strong impact on our sexual life, with minimal interest in sex from my wife, at least at the beginning.

This whole situation, along with my struggles, eventually became an obsession, to the point where I developed ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune intestinal condition that causes severe abdominal pain and bloody diarrhea.

Then, things began to change. We started working, and financial and anxiety issues slowly decreased. My colitis went into remission, and I learned to live with the disease, with ups and downs.

After the pandemic, we bought a house and got married (I was never fully convinced about this choice. I always thought I should solve my big problem first and then get married. I didn’t want to give my wife an unhappy life, but she opposed this and said the only unhappy life would be without me). So, for me, it was time to finally face the problem and get out of this nightmare.

During this period, my colitis worsened, and it stopped responding to treatments, so I switched to immunosuppressants, and in the following months, I went into remission again.

We went to a specialist, but again, he didn’t examine me. He prescribed some supplements (I don’t remember the name) and generic Cialis (5 mg) to take daily and gradually reduce until stopping. With the pills, I immediately noticed an improvement in my erections, meaning I could get them easily, but the issue of losing the erection remained. When I was very aroused, I could maintain the erection a bit longer and start intercourse, but the final result was always the same: loss of erection and inability to regain it.

The doctor who prescribed the pills was available by phone, but when I called to explain the problems, he insisted that the issue was psychological and that I needed a sexologist.

Not being fully convinced, I switched doctors and saw Carlo Bettocchi (I later found out he performs penile prosthesis surgeries). He listened to me and had me do a penile color Doppler ultrasound, which revealed a vascular problem (I couldn’t achieve an erection despite 20 mg Caverject). He reassured me, saying that the problem could be resolved one way or another, and he also mentioned I had a foreskin issue and that ideally, I should undergo circumcision (which I haven’t done yet). He recommended shockwave therapy—8 sessions (one per week)—and then repeating the penile Doppler ultrasound. Along with the first shockwave session, he advised starting a daily regimen of Vintox (generic Cialis) 5 mg at the same time every day.

I noticed a slight improvement, but the issue of losing the erection remained. During the second Doppler ultrasound, I had a weak erection that tended to fade. However, the doctor said everything was normal but wanted to see me again in case there were still issues (I’m not sure if he has doubts). He also added Rabestrom 100 mg (an orodispersible film containing sildenafil citrate, equivalent to 100 mg of sildenafil) to take as needed.

The combination of the two treatments definitely helped. I had better experiences than before, but the final result was still the same.

I decided to try psychotherapy for 6 months, with weekly sessions. The therapist told me I didn’t need any medication for my erectile dysfunction, and I followed his advice. After 6 months, the situation worsened. Without the support of medication, my erections significantly worsened. During therapy, we worked on my anxiety management, self-esteem, and how to approach challenges in general. I also realized that, over time, I had turned more to pornography to compensate for my disappointing sex life, and I believe this may have negatively impacted an already difficult situation.

I also tried NoFap. I managed to go two months without relapsing, after which I noticed erections similar to what I get with 5 mg Cialis. However, the loss of erection remained.

After 6 months with no improvement, I decided to stop psychotherapy and started considering a penile prosthesis implant. I’ve already scheduled a consultation (which I’ll attend on Wednesday) with Dr. Bettocchi, where I’ll explain that I’m not at all satisfied with how I’ve been living this, and I’m truly exhausted. I want a definitive solution that will restore my mental health and my sex life.

What also makes me feel bad is that my wife is always by my side. Despite everything, she supports me and gives me so much attention. I want to make her happy. I have to do it. She deserves it, and I deserve it too. I believe no one should suffer like I do.

I want to explain to the doctor that I still don’t have spontaneous erections. I rarely have morning erections, and when I do, they are weak and disappear as soon as I get out of bed. The issue with maintaining an erection happens always and regardless of whether I’m alone or with my wife, whether I’m highly aroused or not, whether I take medication or not. It happens every time.

I’ve also thought about suicide, but I don’t have the courage, and it wouldn’t solve anything anyway. I would just make the people who love me suffer even more. Also, apparently, to everyone else, I have a perfect life: a great job, a beautiful wife, a house with every comfort imaginable. I’ve always taken care of my physical fitness and train three times a week, with an athletic body. I’ve never smoked or used drugs.

I’m truly broken right now. It feels like every effort is useless. I’m desperate. At this point, I feel I have nothing to lose, so I’m willing to try anything. I’ve also decided I will undergo circumcision (sometimes it causes me problems and pain during sex), hoping it may help in some way.

I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I know my father had very similar problems at my age and even had varicocele surgery. My younger brother suffers from varicocele, and we all have venous problems in the family (hemorrhoids, varicose veins, etc.).

I’m convinced that I suffer from venous leakage, and that psychological issues are a consequence of all this, not the cause.

A friend of mine (over 50 years old and diabetic) was treated by Dr. Bettocchi, first with a hydraulic penile prosthesis implant and then with circumcision (performed by another doctor), and he overcame his issues (he hadn’t had an erection in almost two years).

Do you think it’s possible and advisable to undergo both circumcision and penile prosthesis surgery on the same day?

Given my age, which type of prosthesis would be most suitable for me? I have already searched for answers to this question, but I keep finding conflicting opinions, sometimes from people who don’t even have a prosthesis themselves. I realize that with the hydraulic one, I would need revisions every 10 years (if all goes well), but I’ve also read posts from people who discourage this type of prosthesis in relatively young patients like me. Some even say that each revision increases the risk of infection, and it can’t be done forever. Eventually, you reach a point where a prosthesis can no longer be implanted. Also, since I’m on immunosuppressants, how should I proceed?

For someone very physically active, are there limitations? Are there any exercises to avoid in the gym that might put pressure on the components and cause issues?

Sorry for the long post and the venting. I just want to get support from those who truly understand what I’m going through.

All I can let you know is that from my many years of a nightmare with ED after radical prostrate removal I only showed 1.5 to 2 inches. I too wanted to leave the planet. Long story short I'm over 2 years in Coloplast Titan and am at 6L and 6G. That growth took time and I am a very happy and horny man 7 days a week. My implant feels like my original and I just want to encourage you about how wonderful the implant is. GL to ya, find a top surgeon if you can, cycle at least 2 times per day for one year and watch Perito videos for info on healing. I was fortunate to have him to mine. Great Dr and a terrific guy. Post surgery I had his cell and he was always available for me. Pre surgery I had serious penile issues that 2 other bonafide surgeons didn't really want to touch and they both recommended Perito even though he was my 3rd and last dr that I had already had planned to see.

[HikerMan]

[quote="HealingJourney"]Hello everyone, I've been following this forum for a while, and I think it's time to share my story with you all to seek support, advice, and most importantly, to not feel alone in this battle.

I am 35 years old, and I discovered I had erectile dysfunction when I was 20, after my first sexual experiences with my girlfriend (now my wife).

During masturbation, I never noticed anything wrong, but when I started having sex, I realized I couldn't maintain an erection without continuous stimulation. I could never put on a condom or have a complete sexual experience—NEVER.

I went to my general practitioner, explained the situation, but he downplayed it (without examining me) and said it was just a psychological issue related to anxiety. Because of this, I tried not to think about it in the early years, hoping it would improve with time and experience, but it didn’t. There were several reasons why I didn’t pursue further treatment at the beginning: shame, financial issues (I started working at 27), and in the meantime, I was also helping my partner cope with severe depression due to obsessive-compulsive disorder. This situation naturally had a strong impact on our sexual life, with minimal interest in sex from my wife, at least at the beginning.

This whole situation, along with my struggles, eventually became an obsession, to the point where I developed ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune intestinal condition that causes severe abdominal pain and bloody diarrhea.

Then, things began to change. We started working, and financial and anxiety issues slowly decreased. My colitis went into remission, and I learned to live with the disease, with ups and downs.

After the pandemic, we bought a house and got married (I was never fully convinced about this choice. I always thought I should solve my big problem first and then get married. I didn’t want to give my wife an unhappy life, but she opposed this and said the only unhappy life would be without me). So, for me, it was time to finally face the problem and get out of this nightmare.

During this period, my colitis worsened, and it stopped responding to treatments, so I switched to immunosuppressants, and in the following months, I went into remission again.

We went to a specialist, but again, he didn’t examine me. He prescribed some supplements (I don’t remember the name) and generic Cialis (5 mg) to take daily and gradually reduce until stopping. With the pills, I immediately noticed an improvement in my erections, meaning I could get them easily, but the issue of losing the erection remained. When I was very aroused, I could maintain the erection a bit longer and start intercourse, but the final result was always the same: loss of erection and inability to regain it.

The doctor who prescribed the pills was available by phone, but when I called to explain the problems, he insisted that the issue was psychological and that I needed a sexologist.

Not being fully convinced, I switched doctors and saw Carlo Bettocchi (I later found out he performs penile prosthesis surgeries). He listened to me and had me do a penile color Doppler ultrasound, which revealed a vascular problem (I couldn’t achieve an erection despite 20 mg Caverject). He reassured me, saying that the problem could be resolved one way or another, and he also mentioned I had a foreskin issue and that ideally, I should undergo circumcision (which I haven’t done yet). He recommended shockwave therapy—8 sessions (one per week)—and then repeating the penile Doppler ultrasound. Along with the first shockwave session, he advised starting a daily regimen of Vintox (generic Cialis) 5 mg at the same time every day.

I noticed a slight improvement, but the issue of losing the erection remained. During the second Doppler ultrasound, I had a weak erection that tended to fade. However, the doctor said everything was normal but wanted to see me again in case there were still issues (I’m not sure if he has doubts). He also added Rabestrom 100 mg (an orodispersible film containing sildenafil citrate, equivalent to 100 mg of sildenafil) to take as needed.

The combination of the two treatments definitely helped. I had better experiences than before, but the final result was still the same.

I decided to try psychotherapy for 6 months, with weekly sessions. The therapist told me I didn’t need any medication for my erectile dysfunction, and I followed his advice. After 6 months, the situation worsened. Without the support of medication, my erections significantly worsened. During therapy, we worked on my anxiety management, self-esteem, and how to approach challenges in general. I also realized that, over time, I had turned more to pornography to compensate for my disappointing sex life, and I believe this may have negatively impacted an already difficult situation.]

I also tried NoFap. I managed to go two months without relapsing, after which I noticed erections similar to what I get with 5 mg Cialis. However, the loss of erection remained.

After 6 months with no improvement, I decided to stop psychotherapy and started considering a penile prosthesis implant. I’ve already scheduled a consultation (which I’ll attend on Wednesday) with Dr. Bettocchi, where I’ll explain that I’m not at all satisfied with how I’ve been living this, and I’m truly exhausted. I want a definitive solution that will restore my mental health and my sex life.

What also makes me feel bad is that my wife is always by my side. Despite everything, she supports me and gives me so much attention. I want to make her happy. I have to do it. She deserves it, and I deserve it too. I believe no one should suffer like I do.

I want to explain to the doctor that I still don’t have spontaneous erections. I rarely have morning erections, and when I do, they are weak and disappear as soon as I get out of bed. The issue with maintaining an erection happens always and regardless of whether I’m alone or with my wife, whether I’m highly aroused or not, whether I take medication or not. It happens every time.

I’ve also thought about suicide, but I don’t have the courage, and it wouldn’t solve anything anyway. I would just make the people who love me suffer even more. Also, apparently, to everyone else, I have a perfect life: a great job, a beautiful wife, a house with every comfort imaginable. I’ve always taken care of my physical fitness and train three times a week, with an athletic body. I’ve never smoked or used drugs.

I’m truly broken right now. It feels like every effort is useless. I’m desperate. At this point, I feel I have nothing to lose, so I’m willing to try anything. I’ve also decided I will undergo circumcision (sometimes it causes me problems and pain during sex), hoping it may help in some way.

I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I know my father had very similar problems at my age and even had varicocele surgery. My younger brother suffers from varicocele, and we all have venous problems in the family (hemorrhoids, varicose veins, etc.).

I’m convinced that I suffer from venous leakage, and that psychological issues are a consequence of all this, not the cause.

A friend of mine (over 50 years old and diabetic) was treated by Dr. Bettocchi, first with a hydraulic penile prosthesis implant and then with circumcision (performed by another doctor), and he overcame his issues (he hadn’t had an erection in almost two years).

Do you think it’s possible and advisable to undergo both circumcision and penile prosthesis surgery on the same day?

Given my age, which type of prosthesis would be most suitable for me? I have already searched for answers to this question, but I keep finding conflicting opinions, sometimes from people who don’t even have a prosthesis themselves. I realize that with the hydraulic one, I would need revisions every 10 years (if all goes well), but I’ve also read posts from people who discourage this type of prosthesis in relatively young patients like me. Some even say that each revision increases the risk of infection, and it can’t be done forever. Eventually, you reach a point where a prosthesis can no longer be implanted. Also, since I’m on immunosuppressants, how should I proceed?

For someone very physically active, are there limitations? Are there any exercises to avoid in the gym that might put pressure on the components and cause issues?

Sorry for the long post and the venting. I just want to get support from those who truly understand what I’m going through.[/quote

Hey brother,
Welcome here.
It sounds like you've tried the pills and shots and other things to no avail.

I had a prostactomy and lost my erection ability for a brief time and know exactly the pain, heartache and depression you felt.

Although I can't imagine having to deal with this for decades.
I really feel for you guys and the pain you have felt.

If I was in your shoes I would go ahead with the implant surgery ASAP.
If what I'm reading is correct you've tried about everything and it won't get better as you get older.r

The implant WILL solve this and turn you into a sexual dynamo.
Yes, there is no turning back and at your age you will need this procedure probably 2-3 more times if you live to be an old sexually active man.

You see the results us implanted men have had with this procedure and the almost guaranteed happiness and satisfaction we have being implanted.

I believe the satisfaction rate across the board for penile implants is about 95%.

If there is a higher satisfaction rate in any surgical procedure or outcome, I don't know what it is.

We rave about it because in one fell swoop it takes away the depression, anxiety and sadness we have when we were impotent and unable to please our partner.
I GUARANTEE your wife will be amazed at your sexual prowess after you heal.

And so will you.

Good luck.

[returntocenter]

Hello everyone, I've been following this forum for a while, and I think it's time to share my story with you all to seek support, advice, and most importantly, to not feel alone in this battle.

I am 35 years old, and I discovered I had erectile dysfunction when I was 20, after my first sexual experiences with my girlfriend (now my wife).

During masturbation, I never noticed anything wrong, but when I started having sex, I realized I couldn't maintain an erection without continuous stimulation. I could never put on a condom or have a complete sexual experience—NEVER.

I went to my general practitioner, explained the situation, but he downplayed it (without examining me) and said it was just a psychological issue related to anxiety. Because of this, I tried not to think about it in the early years, hoping it would improve with time and experience, but it didn’t. There were several reasons why I didn’t pursue further treatment at the beginning: shame, financial issues (I started working at 27), and in the meantime, I was also helping my partner cope with severe depression due to obsessive-compulsive disorder. This situation naturally had a strong impact on our sexual life, with minimal interest in sex from my wife, at least at the beginning.

This whole situation, along with my struggles, eventually became an obsession, to the point where I developed ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune intestinal condition that causes severe abdominal pain and bloody diarrhea.

Then, things began to change. We started working, and financial and anxiety issues slowly decreased. My colitis went into remission, and I learned to live with the disease, with ups and downs.

After the pandemic, we bought a house and got married (I was never fully convinced about this choice. I always thought I should solve my big problem first and then get married. I didn’t want to give my wife an unhappy life, but she opposed this and said the only unhappy life would be without me). So, for me, it was time to finally face the problem and get out of this nightmare.

During this period, my colitis worsened, and it stopped responding to treatments, so I switched to immunosuppressants, and in the following months, I went into remission again.

We went to a specialist, but again, he didn’t examine me. He prescribed some supplements (I don’t remember the name) and generic Cialis (5 mg) to take daily and gradually reduce until stopping. With the pills, I immediately noticed an improvement in my erections, meaning I could get them easily, but the issue of losing the erection remained. When I was very aroused, I could maintain the erection a bit longer and start intercourse, but the final result was always the same: loss of erection and inability to regain it.

The doctor who prescribed the pills was available by phone, but when I called to explain the problems, he insisted that the issue was psychological and that I needed a sexologist.

Not being fully convinced, I switched doctors and saw Carlo Bettocchi (I later found out he performs penile prosthesis surgeries). He listened to me and had me do a penile color Doppler ultrasound, which revealed a vascular problem (I couldn’t achieve an erection despite 20 mg Caverject). He reassured me, saying that the problem could be resolved one way or another, and he also mentioned I had a foreskin issue and that ideally, I should undergo circumcision (which I haven’t done yet). He recommended shockwave therapy—8 sessions (one per week)—and then repeating the penile Doppler ultrasound. Along with the first shockwave session, he advised starting a daily regimen of Vintox (generic Cialis) 5 mg at the same time every day.

I noticed a slight improvement, but the issue of losing the erection remained. During the second Doppler ultrasound, I had a weak erection that tended to fade. However, the doctor said everything was normal but wanted to see me again in case there were still issues (I’m not sure if he has doubts). He also added Rabestrom 100 mg (an orodispersible film containing sildenafil citrate, equivalent to 100 mg of sildenafil) to take as needed.

The combination of the two treatments definitely helped. I had better experiences than before, but the final result was still the same.

I decided to try psychotherapy for 6 months, with weekly sessions. The therapist told me I didn’t need any medication for my erectile dysfunction, and I followed his advice. After 6 months, the situation worsened. Without the support of medication, my erections significantly worsened. During therapy, we worked on my anxiety management, self-esteem, and how to approach challenges in general. I also realized that, over time, I had turned more to pornography to compensate for my disappointing sex life, and I believe this may have negatively impacted an already difficult situation.

I also tried NoFap. I managed to go two months without relapsing, after which I noticed erections similar to what I get with 5 mg Cialis. However, the loss of erection remained.

After 6 months with no improvement, I decided to stop psychotherapy and started considering a penile prosthesis implant. I’ve already scheduled a consultation (which I’ll attend on Wednesday) with Dr. Bettocchi, where I’ll explain that I’m not at all satisfied with how I’ve been living this, and I’m truly exhausted. I want a definitive solution that will restore my mental health and my sex life.

What also makes me feel bad is that my wife is always by my side. Despite everything, she supports me and gives me so much attention. I want to make her happy. I have to do it. She deserves it, and I deserve it too. I believe no one should suffer like I do.

I want to explain to the doctor that I still don’t have spontaneous erections. I rarely have morning erections, and when I do, they are weak and disappear as soon as I get out of bed. The issue with maintaining an erection happens always and regardless of whether I’m alone or with my wife, whether I’m highly aroused or not, whether I take medication or not. It happens every time.

I’ve also thought about suicide, but I don’t have the courage, and it wouldn’t solve anything anyway. I would just make the people who love me suffer even more. Also, apparently, to everyone else, I have a perfect life: a great job, a beautiful wife, a house with every comfort imaginable. I’ve always taken care of my physical fitness and train three times a week, with an athletic body. I’ve never smoked or used drugs.

I’m truly broken right now. It feels like every effort is useless. I’m desperate. At this point, I feel I have nothing to lose, so I’m willing to try anything. I’ve also decided I will undergo circumcision (sometimes it causes me problems and pain during sex), hoping it may help in some way.

I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I know my father had very similar problems at my age and even had varicocele surgery. My younger brother suffers from varicocele, and we all have venous problems in the family (hemorrhoids, varicose veins, etc.).

I’m convinced that I suffer from venous leakage, and that psychological issues are a consequence of all this, not the cause.

A friend of mine (over 50 years old and diabetic) was treated by Dr. Bettocchi, first with a hydraulic penile prosthesis implant and then with circumcision (performed by another doctor), and he overcame his issues (he hadn’t had an erection in almost two years).

Do you think it’s possible and advisable to undergo both circumcision and penile prosthesis surgery on the same day?

Given my age, which type of prosthesis would be most suitable for me? I have already searched for answers to this question, but I keep finding conflicting opinions, sometimes from people who don’t even have a prosthesis themselves. I realize that with the hydraulic one, I would need revisions every 10 years (if all goes well), but I’ve also read posts from people who discourage this type of prosthesis in relatively young patients like me. Some even say that each revision increases the risk of infection, and it can’t be done forever. Eventually, you reach a point where a prosthesis can no longer be implanted. Also, since I’m on immunosuppressants, how should I proceed?

For someone very physically active, are there limitations? Are there any exercises to avoid in the gym that might put pressure on the components and cause issues?

Sorry for the long post and the venting. I just want to get support from those who truly understand what I’m going through.

Hey man - don’t despair, there’s a solution for this. I’m 27 and got my first implant a month ago. I felt like I was in a similar hole to you before this. Had ED for 10+ years. Feel free to PM me and I can help orient you through the implant landscape etc. Happy to help

[LetoMan]

I’m truly broken right now. It feels like every effort is useless. I’m desperate.

Man, this makes me emotional because I’ve been there. I’m also a lifelong sufferer, and a lot of your story resonates with me.

First of all, this is pretty standard, but it sounds like you’ve been getting crappy medical advice. Even the one urologist with the doppler. I really don’t trust anyone selling shockwave treatments. It’s highly profitable snake oil for the doctors that do so.

Do your research, but don’t fear an implant. It’s a life saver. It’s the best thing many of us here have ever done. Stop messing around and get it if you are ready.

Be well, Leto

[dan_bionic]

Healing Journey,

Welcome to the bionic brotherhood and sorry for you suffering from ED so early, but I think It's time for you to change your sexual life and start planing the implant. The implant is a life saver and your sexual life starts to funtion again and yes, you need a functional dick to finally start a normal life and to please your wife and yourself.

Don't mess around with doctors that have no idea how to really help, don't loos time with pills or injections that mostly do not work after some time. You need to function now. Your life will change in so many positive ways, having a functional dick, your self-confidence will dramatically improve, most of the other problems will lessen too.

Start now, it's time!
Dan