My Journal

[merrix]

All obstacles basically cleared. Paperwork completed, tickets and hotel booked.
I am on for surgery with Dr. Eid in New York on December 15:th.
Having gotten invaluable information from Frank Talk, this is my way to pay back. Even if only one person will benefit from and appreciate my journal, I will be ok with the hours I will spend on documenting my process.
In my case, the only person I discussed this with was, and still is, my wife. I have not discussed with any man expect for all you guys here on FT. This has been invaluable and extremely important for me in the process of coming to this decision. I am still not sure whether it is the right thing to do, but when can one ever be sure about anything? There are always uncertain factors and pros and cons.

Some of you may have read my background story in various posts in different threads here, but I will summarize it here. As time goes by this thread will be filled with honest and frank descriptions of my pre- and post- op experience.

Anyone having any questions are more than welcome to post them here or as PM.

Background:
I am 42 years old, and my ED started before I even started to have any sort of sexual experience. I do remember having long-lasting erections as a kid. I also do remember the erections were not long lasting as a 15 year old. Meaning it started somewhere in my early teens.
At around 20 (pills were not around then in the early nineties), I could have sex, but there were occasions when I could not even penetrate, and mostly I would finish the sex act with a semi-erect penis.
In the beginning of the 2000's, I was sent by a moron of a urologist for sexual therapy with my wife. It was only embarassing and gave absolutely nothing. Heck, I had ED when masturbating forever, and never had a proper morning wood after 13 years old. But this idiot still thought it was performance anxiety.
He gave me Viagra as well, and they sure helped. In the beginning they basically worked every time. Still with limited durability of the erection though.

As time went by, my problems got worse and the effect of the Viagra faded off somewhat. I could basically get a decent erection (good enough for penetration, but still softer than what would be normal. Especially the glans), but it would start to fade off within seconds without stimulation and within minutes even if going hard and fast with constant in- and out- motion. It was always a race against time to finish before my dick went soft. I started taking higher doses, and the normal dose for me lately has been 1.5 - 2 pills (and a pill is either a 100 mg Viagra or a 20 mg Cialis. The normal dose lately has been 100 mg Viagra + 10 mg Cialis).
I never had any side effects of them though, except for some blushing of my skin in the face and on my chest. But this was nothing that bothered me.

I have been with my partner (i.e. wife) for 18 years, and she is the most beatuiful, sexy and in-shape 43 year old woman one can think of. She has of course admitted I have issues, but never wanting to discuss them in detail and in comparison to other men she had before meeting me. I have never known the true extent of my problems since there has been no pre-ED sexual experience for me. My only bench mark of how a penis should work is porn... And that is probably not a realistic bench mark either.

Anyway, this summer I opted for testing the Sclerotherapy by Dr. Herwig and Dr. Kuehhas in Vienna. Kuehhas diagnosed me with venous leak. Better than average inflow and a completely crap outflow. 'Huge leak' as he described it.
I did the sclero treatment in end of July this year. There is a whole thread about the sclerotherapy here on FT under 'Young Members' for those of you interested.
To summarize - the sclerotherapy made things better. Especially the first few weeks after the treatment. I had extrmely strong and good lasting nightly and morning erections. Something I had never had before. What a great feeling. My shaft was hard and firm, and my glans was like a huge apple waiting to burst. Hard as billiards ball...
Sex after the 2 weeks of no-sex ordered by Kuehhas was heaven. I got hard as a rock and wife said this was the hardes dick (especially glans) she ever had experienced. However, I still used Viagra, and when trying without the pills it didn't work. Still got hard as a rock from beginning, but it would always go soft after a while.
After 1-2 months, even with pills I got back to the world of hit and miss. There is still an improvement, but even on good nights, there is a clock ticking which makes me rush through sex. And on a bad day, it will go soft after a few minutes. However, the erection is a lot stronger, fuller and harder now than before the sclero. It's just that the durability is not consistent.

The sclero did however kick my butt and made me talk openly to my wife. Even to get her to tell me straight to my face how a 'normal' erection works. Based on the handful of men she had sex with before meeting me. This, coupled with getting a taste after the sclero how good it could/should be, made me take the decision to go for the implant. I basically finally admitted to myself that my sexual performance is rubbish. And I wanted to end that.

I didn't really start to look into this until 1-2 months ago, and then things went fast. I quickly decided that I wanted to get it done by the best surgeon in the world. I am from a Northern Europe country and live in SE Asia. I would pay out of my own pocket, and deciced I was not going to let cost have any impact on my decision. Just picking the best.
I quickly narrowed it down to Eid or Kramer. What made me pick Eid were two things;
1 - The accessability of New York. When travelling from Asia, New York requires less transfers than Baltimore. Plus the airline I use for all my business travel and where I have all my benefits have flights to NY. They don't fly to Baltimore though...
2 - His response time. His website was clear and I quickly got the contact details needed and before Kramer's people even responded to my requests, I had already had the phone consultation with Eid.
I am sure Kramer is right up there together with Eid in terms of competence and experience, but the above two reasons made me go with Eid.

I am trying to keep expectations reasonable. I expect my ED to be 100% solved. I don't however expect everything to be perfect. I am prepared for some issues. There can be several issues after the surgery, such as: Loss of feeling/sensitivity, having more difficulties to orgasm, soft/floppy head, discomfort from the pump, loss of penile length etc. However, I would be surprised if all of those things happened, and if I am lucky - none of them will.
However, my reasoning is that whatever the outcome, it will be a lot better than today.
I can have sex with a slightly less sensitive dick. I can have sex even if it takes longer time to come, or even if I don't come at all occasionally. I can have sex even if my glans is soft (that's how it was for me for 25 years before I had the sclero...). I can have sex even if I feel a slight discomfort from the pump. I can have sex even if my 6.5 inch dick shrinks to 6 or even 5.5 inches. But - I just cannot fuck anyone if my dick goes soft...

That's where i stand today.
I will keep posting away during the weeks to come.

[alibaba]

Best of luck to you. I think it is good you and your wife had a heart to heart talk to understand where you were at. It started to get tough here when my ED started. We finally had a talk and it turns out my wife thought I was nolonger interested or having an affair after years of a rock hard, do it, leave to go to work and turn around to come back home to have another go at it. Just the thought of those young years makes me smile!. Look forward to your posts. Hug your wife. She is part of it too. d

[C_lab34]

I will be following your progress closely, as I'm up for an implant on January 6th, so not far behind you. Good luck and hoping for a great result for you.

[merrix]

Thanks, good luck to you too.

[ED2013]

You've made an excellent decision choosing Dr Eid. I'm sure you'll be happy with the outcome!

[merrix]

Communicated with Eid again.
Since so many here are obsessed about length, I thought maybe I should be as well. Making someone accountable is usually a good way to maximize reults.
So I asked him two questions:
1- What percentage of your patients end up with a penile length shorter than the stretch test length?
2- What is the average difference of length outcome and stretch test length?

His reply was that he always injects his patients to an erection before surgery. Penis is measured, length is noted together with patient. During surgery he will inflate before closing wound and measure. If length is shorter than the measured injection erection length, he will immediately replace to longer cylinders and hence always deliver a length equal to the pre op injection erection length. Fair enough. That's transparency and accountability in my book.

Also asked about what would happen if I after flying back to Europe will develop an infection over christmas/new year? I suppose it's critical to have the recovery surgery asap.
He said of course first that infections are extremely rare in his hands. But if worst comes to worst, an infection will develop over a period of several days with several distinct phases, all with clear signs. I will have his cell number, he will be in NY and I will be able to call him for consultation. If infection is suspected I will have time to fly to NY and he will be immediately available for the recovery surgery.

All in all, this man has a pleasing way of making me feel comfortable. He is confident but not arrogant. And he does give a genuinely professional impression.
I hope he lives up to it when it's time to walk the walk...

[alibaba]

That is one issue I have with length. I've stated here before and and to doctors in years past. With injections my hard length is just a hard skinny version of my flacid size, at least when injections work which they don't any more. I am a grower. Pumped up is almost 2" longer and much bigger around too. It would seem to me that it would be people like me who take issue with losing size. I have not been able to get past this issue with Dr. Milam either. he said my stretched size will be it and even with the LGX , it will not get any bigger. I got the impression that he views the 20% stretch on the LGX as only useful to fit an undersized implant to the full size of a penis. He was quite firm that I would never gain any additional length from the implant.. My stretched size is 1/2 way between flacid size and pumped size so it would still leave me short an inch. d

[merrix]

You nailed my worry there as well. What if the injection erection is not same as my best aroused Viagra erection?
On the other hand, I can see this from the doctors' point of view. They need facts. Measurable hard cold facts. If they were to implant patients based on their stories about size, there would be plenty of implants buckling and eroding out through the tip...
I just hope that injection will give me an erection as good as they come.

[Anonymous 3]

In all the video I have seen demonstrating inflation and deflation, the flaccid penis always seems to be long and pointing down (more or less). Inflated, the penis is the same length only pointing at 90 degrees to the body. There didn't appear to be any change in length, it just rises and gets stiffer. I am assuming the implant was a Titan or AMS CX as they don't change in length.

I have an LGX and there is most definitely a change in length between the flaccid and erect states. I was always a grower and with the LGX I still am. I am starting to think that the LGX isn't going to stretch to 20% larger over time and stay that way resulting in a permanently larger penis, but expands in length by about 20% each time it is inflated and returns to it's original size once deflated. It certainly seems like that is what it is doing in my case. There is no doubt at all that my erect length IS NOT the deflated length. This leads me to think that if you are properly sized with an LGX you will have a more natural cycling effect, but you won't magically grow by 20%.

Any thoughts?

[chiali09]

I have a CX and mine gets longer when aroused. You still get blood flow down there and your head expands.