A Brick or a Dick?

[kugu_yumo]

my friend a coffee-addict Phil is a nice guy but he used to steal in the local grocery stores. he would just come up to a shelf, slip a 8.8oz ground coffe brick into his pants pocket and matter-of-factly goes through the door. Though something is bulging badly around his left pocket area when he goes by the checkout, Phil always gets away with it. Once i dropped by in there to pick out some food and vitnessed a following scene- a women in casual dress comes up to Phil and says that her name is Rita and she's the head of security of the supermarket chain: "would you be so kind as to show me what is bulging about your left pocket?" Phil: Ok, but won't you accept it as an abuse? I've recently used my bathmate and I have 10 inches in girth now. It looks like a... brick, you know". Rita workes up a sweat and apologizes. Later he told me that this is the only working excuse