My Journal

[C_lab34]

Another great entry, Merrix. Very thorough and didactic. I like to think that I was part of a class of implantees, definitely including you, that has done a lot to increase the understanding and transparency of this procedure, with very detailed and honest discussions. I agree with you that when it comes down to it, on certain issues regarding the differences between the different devices, we will never really know for sure because we have what we have, and most likely won't have the other to compare. Even if we were to end up getting a different brand at some point, the comparison would still be skewed, because the penis would change some internally after one operation and implant, and so the controlled variable, the penis, would already be altered. You'd really need two of the exact same penises with the exact same internal structures, and two different devices to truly settle it. At least that is how I think of it, definitely could be wrong about that.

To clarify further, I know that the default cylinder size of the Titan is larger than the AMS. I think this has to do with the actual material out of which it is made, the bioflex polymer, where the AMS is made of silicone. The polymer is harder and thicker than the silicone. Theoretically, the Titan is a larger device. Practically, I still think that everyone, regardless of device, is limited by their own anatomy. The AMS has the capacity to greatly expand beyond its original size, and so does the Titan. Now, maybe, at some outer limit, the Titan can expand even more than any AMS. Maybe for very, very large girths, beyond the 6.5 range, the Titan can accommodate where the AMS can't. But I am in the 6+ range for part of my penis with the AMS, and the rest is a little thinner, and I believe it's because of my tissues and not the device. As I am still growing and stretching out with cycling, it is apparent to me that the AMS CX "wants" to keep expanding circumferentially, but it is just encountering different degrees of resistance. I'm sure the Titan would do the same, and maybe it would expand even more than what I'm getting now. But like you've said, there's no real way to know that.

[moetheman]

You boys are certainly at the top of the class now. As I've said before, the information in your journals is highly useful, filled with intelligent conversations. From my point of view I think implants are similar to diets, there are plenty of ways to achieve the same (or similar) result and there are plenty of variables to adjust. However there are some key parameters that have to be absolutely right (e.g. caloric deficit in a diet). In the case of implants, it's the skill of the surgeon.

I hope to be able to contribute to these discussions as I work through my issues. It's taking a lot of effort on my part to keep going. Sometimes it feels easier to give up but that's not in my nature. I've learned a big life lesson from this experience... never settle for second best in ANYTHING. I will apply this to every part of my life going forward. I only hope that I can salvage something from the initial bad experience. Perhaps if there is some hope of recovery from a revision then I will also start a detailed 'Revision' journal.

[alibaba]

moetheman, you re correct about second best. For 20 years I bought the cheapest appliances, lumber, equipment. Finally realized that it cost me many times more than the best. So I bought the best, Dacor, Viking, Jaguar, Deere, Caterpillar, and things have been much better, costs actually less overall. Stress level less. Then I screwed up and cut travel expenses for a closer dick doc. Beat myself up every day for a month over it now and it's still not over. Be well. good luck. Hope things work out. Sending a hug via transmission by electron mail.

[moetheman]

Alibaba I've had the same experience with a few purchases too where I tried to obtain bargains, only to realise that you get what you pay for. In the end you end up forking out for the best in class product anyway so the original money is wasted. My wife always told me to just go for premium quality as it's just more durable. In case of implants I've screwed up again but hopefully for the last time. I'd rather save up and buy the best going forward, especially for the bigger things that matter.

I've been really kicking myself for a while too that I've wasted money and more importantly hindered my chances of future success with the implant. All the while going through unnecessary suffering which could have been avoided. It is especially difficult trying to put on a brave face for the partner and vice versa. However what's done is done and I'm now coming out of the self-pity stage and trying to take action. It takes time but you will find the courage. At the end of the day there is no other choice but to carry on. I'm sure that the issues can be resolved to a point where we can begin to accept. We may not regain all of the length but to be honest reading some of the other posts, nobody has it perfect with implants. It is still a mechanical process and will never restore things back to exactly like the pre-ED days. However the guys are now getting on with their lives with their sexual function restored to the point that it's no longer a real issue. That's where I want to be. I actually quite like the implant now and feels fairly natural to me. If it weren't for the size, pump and tubing related issues, I would be jumping for joy (or at least I think so at this point anyway).

[merrix]

8.5 weeks post op

Have to say the last days have again seen accelerated progress.
I have skipped the twice-per-day >30 minutes-per-session cycling of the implant.
Just inflate now when having sex or when masturbating. If there is one day when none of this happens, I inflate once briefly such as when taking a shower.
As you can read in my previous lengthy post, size kept increasing anyway.

Coincidence or not - don't know - but my overall well-being has accelerated again lately. Less discomfort and tenderness. I simply barely feel the implant anymore. Too early though to say if this is the new normal or just a few randomly good days

Sex just keeps getting better and better. Numbness decreasing and hence sensitivity and pleasure increasing.
My ED-damaged brain starts to learn how to use a dick that stays hard forever. To make good use of it for both his owner and his customer.

Getting closer to the 'Hallelujah-chant'...

Till next time.

[merrix]

Adding to the above:
As I posted before, Eid's protocol is to start inflate twice daily (10-20 mins each time) as soon as possible. But only till implant is put in use. After that Eid claims there is no further benefit of dry cycling.
When looking at my progress (sex feel, daily comfort, size) after STOPPING the dry cycling - it seems the man was right. Again.
Maybe I could have made more rapid progress if following his protocol instead of the dry cycling.
Or maybe not. Who knows.

[RelievedofED1]

If you need help with the hallelujah words Merrix PM me! Congrats

[merrix]

9 weeks update

Not much to add since last update. I have, as I said earlier, taken a break in the twice daily 30-60 minutes per session cycling protocol.
All I do is inflate for sex (or masturbation). Days when I don't do either of the two, I inflate once briefly such as when taking a shower.
As always, one cannot know the true effect of an action like this. Simply because I don't know what would have happened had I done otherwise.
Anyway, I have had two good weeks behind me. The number of times in a day I even feel the implant is clearly reduced. I am basically having no issues whatsoever. I cannot say I don't feel the implant at all, that would be psuhing the truth. I still feel it simply becayse my flaccid is larger and it makes itself reminded sometimes. But I barely ever feel any tenderness or soreness. In that sense I am (almost) never reminded of the implant.
I still feel some light ache when I inflate close to max. Some in the tip and some in the perineal area.
Clear difference on inflating with or without arousal. When aroused I can pump to 100% full and feel nothing in the tip and only slightly back in the perineal area.
When not aroused I feel light pain in the tip already 5-10 pumps short of maximum.

Sex has gotten clearly better last two weeks. I have said before that even though my erect dick is super hard and clearly much harder than what it was pre-op, it hasn't really felt like that during sex from when I started having sex three weeks post-op. It has almost felt softer.
However, last two weeks, there has been a difference. I simply feel more. More in every way. The sensation in my dick is getting back to pre-op and with the increased sensation, I feel harder as well. And sex overall feels great.

Regarding how the implant works for sex, I must give Dr. Eid the highest credit.
It is very hard. I would not describe it as a 'railroad spike from ass to tip' as some people here do. And which I don't believe is true. But it is very hard.
There is no excessive loose skin (I am not circumcised), the foreskin looks and fits basically as it did before.
I have the exact same size as before surgery. Down to the level of detail I can measure, it is identical both in length and girth. (16.5 cm and 14 cm).
There is no issue at all with 'floopy-head' or whatever it is called. My cylinders go three quarters up in the glans and the glans is firm. Really no difference from how it was pre-op with a good day's erection. And even though the cylinders go all the way up to 1 cm from the tip of penis, they cannot be felt when aroused and glans is blood-filled. Neither by me nor by my wife.
I have no problem whatsoever to orgasm.
The sensation was a bit numbed from beginning when having sex (three weeks post op), but has lately started to come closer to pre-op.
Wife says the dick feels absolutely natural when having sex. Just very hard, but not hard beyond what a perfect natural erection can be.
I can feel some of the tubing with my hands, but wife says she has never felt them either during intercourse, oral, or handjob. Of course, I know where it is and I know where to find them. Basically high up in the left groin and down in the scrotum to the pump. But again, she doesn't feel it. Eid says tubing is normally not able to be felt at all, but blames it on my leaner body than most his patients...
Only way she can feel it's an implant is when touching the balls. Then it's of course very obvious...
Pump is hidden nicely behind balls when standing up. Cannot be seen.

In the beginning I inflated to sex-level (in shower) before going to bed at night when having sex.
Don't know why, but I feel better inflating to some sort of semi-erection hanging at 4:00 before, and then inflating to sex-level during foreplay. This can easily and quickly be done with one hand.

Deflation is still nowhere near the marketing gimmick of 'One-Touch'.
It is rather one long forceful squeeze on the valve, followed by 30-60 seconds of squeezing the shaft with one hand and pressing the perineal area with the other. Nothing that is done discretely with one hand quickly after having sex.
But what the heck. That's not a big issue when having sex with the wife.
For people wanting to try to look natural with a casual partner it would be an issue.

To summarize: I am quite a lot more content with the whole thing now than a couple of weeks ago.
Mostly because, as I said earlier, in order for me to be really satisfied I must feel 100% normal in my daily life. And that is starting to happen. My implant is starting to become natural to me. I seldom feel it at all when getting in and out of a car, playing in the pool with my daughter, etc.
But also because the sex has gotten clearly better lately.
So a combination of decreased negative impact of the downsides and an increased positive feeling from the upside.

Also attaching two pictures. Just for all of those people thinking of getting an implant. This is what mine looks like.
Flaccid size is about 14 cm. Used to be 9-10 before implant.
With loose boxers, it will hang along one leg down in the pants.
With tight boxers it will just look like a larger than averag bulge. No issue.
As you can see, my foreskin can no longer completely cover my glans. I have to either keep the foreskin behind the glans or keep the glans semi-covered. Both works and I do sometimes one way and sometimes the other.
As you can see, the pump is impossible to see for anyone not touching and moving around my balls.

[MARKOS2018]

Merrix

I applaud your detailed account of your progress from the beginning to end. There are many out there that are suffering with ED and are not wanting to go through it for fear of the results after surgery.

I wish I had done my surgery earlier but waited too long and the peyronies got the best of me. However, I did find Dr. Eid who implanted the Titan. All I wanted was a normal looking dick and he gave me one!.. I would have done it much earlier if I had seen your journal 4 years earlier.

When I looked at Dr. Eids " list of implantees" and attempted to call them, most of the numbers didn't work. However, it was Dr. Eid and his personality and his manner that made me trust him all the way.

A really honest and "frank" journal by the way,

Rod

[alibaba]

Have to say it really looks natural. I've kicked around posting a picture how mine looks. Not so good with the pump jutting out and dick taking a left turn. Awesome Job for your Dr. Eid. I hope your wife is low mileage as you may put some miles on her now!