My Journal

[alibaba]

I can get mine to the left side sometimes. Never to the right as the 3 tubes are on the right side as well as the square end of the pump along with the left bend in the penile shaft. I can try to force it rt but it is very uncomfortable and even though undergarments will hole it there for a few minutes, it will migrate to center so the tubes and pump are to the side.

[PFracture]

WTF!!!!! :O :O :O OMG! how can you go around with a bulge like that? jesus christ! i mean, and you are complaining about undersizing... It just looks like a big bulge!? i assumed you could put the implant close to your body, sideways, either left or right, like one normally does with a "natural flaccid" even if it was bigger... but it just looks impossible. Will the swelling go down? Is it swollen still? O.O

Merrix.... what do you have to say (or show) about this?

[alibaba]

No swelling, that is just the way it is. Thin pants are easier to wear. Heavy stiff denims are difficult. Often I cannot wait to get my pants off when I get home to get some relief. Fortunately I had no swelling after surgery, then a small bit above penis about day 4-6 and that was it. Weenie was awesome in the day it worked naturally. I would just pick which leg I wanted it to go down when I dressed. Why do you think my wife loves me? Before the implant I could move it to one side or another but with the pump and implant I cannot do that now. I really think a rear placement pump that is lower would help. The infrapubic tubing wad seems to pull things up a bit and make the ball sack higher too. I do not think that would be an issue with scrotal. I think it would likely hang free better. Balls have shrunken but now the 3rd one makes it up? Dick size gets no bigger than you see now. 30 years ago it would be 3 3/4" longer hard, before the implant 1 3/4" longer and 1/2 again large in diameter. I am no happy camper to lose that much. I may have much but I did have one fine dick at one time. One thing of interest, I pumped it up 200 pumps when I went to bed last night and left it pumped. This morning I found the tips better seated in the glans and penis was stiffer than usual this morning and it could take a little bit of use before it started bending in the middle. Second time I have tried this with the same result. Why it bends everywhere immediately after pumping and not 7 hours later, I do not know. I'll ask the pro about it tomorrow.

[David_R]

Alibaba, I can make mine look like that. Of course it takes a couple of socks to help.

[alibaba]

I wouldn't be able to walk with socks too.

[merrix]

In a dead lift the bar comes straight across the items of implantation. Place your hands down like you are holding a bar against your body and you will understand the alignment. It is common for people who dead lift to drag the bar across their upper thigh muscles and rest it against their body when upright. merrix, if I am incorrect, please feel free to correct me.

You're absolutely right.

[merrix]

WTF!!!!! :O :O :O OMG! how can you go around with a bulge like that? jesus christ! i mean, and you are complaining about undersizing... It just looks like a big bulge!? i assumed you could put the implant close to your body, sideways, either left or right, like one normally does with a "natural flaccid" even if it was bigger... but it just looks impossible. Will the swelling go down? Is it swollen still? O.O

Merrix.... what do you have to say (or show) about this?

That's what I mean PFracture... Not that I think mine looks like Alibaba's.
I have already posted pics of my flaccid when naked, so just go back a few pages on my thread and you'll see it.
Pointing it straight to the side is of course possible, but when bending down for a deadlift, it would be placed right in angle between the hip and thigh were the bend is. Since it is thick and massive, it'd get crushed in an uncomfortable way. I tried.
So pointing it kind of down, trying to bend it a bit and creating a big bulge rather than having it point down one leg is the way to go for me.

[merrix]

So another week has passed, 14 in total now since that day in mid December when I had my surgery in New York.
At this stage I thought there would be no meaning with a weekly update, simply because there would be nothing happening from week to week. Wrong.
Looking back a week, things have happened for sure.

One is my perineal pain seem to just be completely gone. Even if pumping to the absolute maximum, it is not there.
Tip pain is still there when pumping close to full, but only if not aroused.

Another interesting phenomenon is that I recently can get my implant harder than before. I used to say that it is harder than a natural perfect erection, but not by much. Which is why I could use full inflation for sex if I wanted. It worked.
Now, if I pump full, it is really hard beyond anything the evolution (or God for those who believe in that concept) ever created on a man. And that way-beyond-natural hardness goes both for the shaft itself as well as the flexibility at the base. It is really close to the description of having a broomstick from ass to tip. The shaft is so hard that it can’t be bent at all. The flexibility at the base is very, very limited. And my dick points to about 2:30 when inflated.
I can get more pumps in the implant than a couple of weeks ago, and hence it gets harder. Why more pumps? I guess the only explanation is tissue expansion. But I honestly don’t see that it is neither longer nor thicker. Just harder…
Yesterday when having sex, I abandoned my recent strategy of pumping 15-20 pumps for sex, which is what has given me something I’d describe as a very hard erection which is still within the limits of what a natural erection could achieve. I pumped it almost full, maybe there was still 1 or 2 pumps left to be had.
It was fun in a way, but not really optimal for neither of us. The problem is that having a dick which doesn’t give anything in terms of shaft bending and almost nothing at the base, makes having vigorous sex quite hard. It means you have to align the dick perfectly with the target and keep it in that exact position from entry to exit. And you cannot enter at an angle, because there is no flexibility either at the base or in the shaft which will compensate for your angle. Imagine having a tube and then trying to insert a rod into the tube. If the rod is very close to the diameter of the tube, you must of course insert it in a perfectly aligned angle to be able to get it in. Otherwise it won’t work.
Meaning most positions become painful of various degree for both me and my wife. She felt like her pussy was stretched beyond comfort level at the opening, since the tip will push to one side in the bottom of her, and then, since there is no flexibility in my dick anywhere, the base will stretch out the opening to the other side. Too much. And I think in most positions, you just don’t go in and out at a perfectly aligned angle. It is more like a curved motion and then the flexibility of the dick makes it work. Take that flexibility away, and it doesn’t work…
It was a bit painful for me as well.
So the only way to use that crazy hard dick is for soft and gentle sex. If I want to go hard and fast, there is no way this is the ultimate hardness. And besides, I still believe in the theory that natural blood flow is restricted when 100% full, which takes away some of the feeling. I couldn’t come yesterday even though going on for quite some time. My wife couldn’t either since it was a bit painful/uncomfortable for her.
A nice experiment, which confirmed that an implant, if properly functioning and installed, is hard way beyond anything natural. Both in terms of shaft hardness and base flexibility.
My wife, who has said previously that she feels nothing unnatural about my dick when having intercourse, definitely did not think so yesterday. It felt like being taken by a machine…
So next time, I am most likely back to using an 80% inflation.

Squats and Deadlifts keep working nicely. No reaction from neither, and I’ll start increasing the weights again and get back to my old routines.

Most days I pump up twice. If I don’t have time, I do it once only. Still don’t know if this is a good idea, but since the number of pumps I am getting in has slightly increased lately, I guess something is happening. Whether that is good or bad is of course another story. I honestly don’t give much of a shit about my length, and neither does my wife. It is about 16.5 cm (6.5”) erect today, which is more than enough.
My girth is around 13.5-14 cm (5.3-5.5”) depending on level of inflation and arousal and blood flow. That is already above average I think, but I wouldn’t mind increasing the girth a little bit though, so I’ll keep cycling for a while and see what happens.

Speaking of size, I posted a detailed post in another thread a few hours ago about size. Read it if interested.

Till next time

[rglassva]

Pfracture, I will be rude and interject into the question you asked merrix. A picture is probably better than a long explanation. Your flaccid size is a little larger with an implant. In my case and maybe that of others, the pump under the penis adds to the bulk.This picture may be slightly exaggerated to some people because I have slightly more size than average but it probably gets the idea across more vividly. No there is no padding in there, that is just the way it is. In a dead lift the bar comes straight across the items of implantation. Place your hands down like you are holding a bar against your body and you will understand the alignment. It is common for people who dead lift to drag the bar across their upper thigh muscles and rest it against their body when upright. merrix, if I am incorrect, please feel free to correct me. Cheers all.

Damn that 11 lbs I've gained the last few weeks looks like hell......

So, are you sure you didn't gain 11 lbs in your undies???
Great choice as well. . . .love Andrew Christians - however you're a candidate for Trophy Boys and I wear Show-its!

[merrix]

16 weeks, or 3.5 months.

Getting on with things. Haven’t updated for a while simply because there isn’t much to update about.
I am what I think is close to fully healed. I have no pain or discomfort when getting on with my routines, including working out. I did feel some light soreness after a deadlift session last week, but yesterday I did the same thing again and had no issues whatsoever.

Cycling habits
I am pumping up daily, whether I use it or not. Sometimes twice, sometimes once. Sometimes for up to an hour, sometimes only for a few minutes. It all depends on where I am and how much time I have. When on business trip I can walk around with my hardon alone in my hotel room, but when home it is a bit more complicated in the mornings…

Expansion of dick and cylinders
For sure, the pumping has had some impact. I notice it definitely in the number of pumps I can get in before it is full. A few weeks ago I could get in around 22-23 full wall-to-wall pumps, and then a few partial pumps. Now I get in 28-29 full pumps and then a few partials. Those six extra pumps will make the implant expand more, and apparently the room for that expansion wasn’t there before, but now it is.
What changes do I see then in terms of hardness and size after those extra pumps?

Size, length
Pre op I was around 16.0 cm (6.3”) on an average day with a pill-erection. Without pills probably only around 15.5 cm (6.1”), but not long enough time to even measure it. On a good day, it was 16.5 cm (6.5”)
When starting to pumping at two weeks post-op, I was 15 cm (5.9”). Eid was surprised and almost didn’t believe me. He said I should be 16 cm (6.3”) minimum. That’s what he said he measured me to during surgery. I understand now that this was due to me not being able to pump nowhere near as much as I can now. A few weeks ago, I was back at my good-day-pre-op of 16.5 cm (6.5”). Now, since my number of pumps have increased, I have twice measured it to 16.9 cm (6.7”).

Size, girth
The girth was on a good day pre-op 14 cm (5.5”). When starting pumping I was slightly larger, at around 14.3 cm (5.6”). Know now that this was due to swelling still being there. I later went down to around 13.5 cm (5.3”). Now I am back to my 14 cm (5.5”) again.

Size effect
Do I notice the extra 0.4 cm (0.2”) length and 0.5 cm (0.2”) girth? No. Does my wife notice? The length, no. The girth, yes.

Hardness
So the extra 6 pumps have given 0.4 cm (0.2”) length and 0.5 cm (0.2”) girth. But mostly, it has made the dick a lot harder. And I mean a lot.
When first starting to have sex 3-4 weeks post-op, I think I had some expectations of a super hard baseball bat. That wasn’t the case. When I could get 20 pumps in, and at that time, after 20 pumps it was full, my dick sure was hard. But I’d say about as hard as my pill-dick before surgery (on a good day). So thought my wife.
But now. Holy crap. If I pump it full nowadays, it sure is way beyond natural. It is truly rock-hard. Cannot be bent at all, feels artificially hard to touch (shaft) and has basically no flexibility at the base. I have used it at that hardness for sex two times, and it simply isn’t good. It is a bit fun, but it has nothing to do with anything that comes close to a natural dick. And it doesn’t work very well for sex. For those of you not having an implant, or an implant which doesn’t get so hard, imagine having a dick hard as a broomstick. And imagine having basically no flexibility at all in the base, neither up-down, nor right-left. That makes fast, deep strokes a challenge. Aiming precisely along the cylinder’ (i.e. vagina) with your ‘shaft’ (i.e. dick) isn’t easy. You will need some bending in the shaft, and mostly, some flexibility at the base to be able to have good (and intense) sex. Just lying on top and slowly grinding half-way in and half-way out may work, but nothing more wild than that.
So what I do is simply stopping the pumping a few pumps short of full, at a level where it is slightly harder or as hard as it ever was on its best day. That makes for a much better experience.

Angle
From the beginning, when starting pumping at two weeks out, My angle was extreme. Around 1:30. It later went down to just above 3:00. Let’s say 2:45. Or even 2:55. Just above horizontal. Now, with the increased number of pumps, the angle is going up again. Not to the immediate post-op 1:30, but to something which is clearly higher than horizontal. I’d say 2:00. Which I think is a good angle if not pumping too hard. When inflating max, 2:00 with almost no flexibility makes some positions a bit challenging…

Sex
…is good. It is really great to not having to worry beforehand about what form the dick will be in tonight. Just take things as it comes. No need to plan and try to figure out when is a good time to take the blue pill.
And of course, it is as good once game is on to not worrying over the dick going soft. My wife enjoys the new rules of the game as much as I do. The worry of the dick going soft before wasn’t only my worry, it was hers just as much as well. Both for her own sake and for mine. Now she can fully enjoy herself as well, knowing there is no stop watch with an unknown deadline ticking from start of foreplay.

What’s not good?
Well, not having a well-functioning normal dick without plastic in it is of course not good. I would still of course prefer a normally functioning natural dick.
Having to pump it up beforehand is still an issue. It feels already a lot better than initially (amazing how fast one gets used to things), but still it is not the way you want it.
Masturbating is a bit weird. Things kind of happen in the wrong order. First you get an erection, then you work on getting excited (watching porn, fantasies or whatever). Normally it’d work the other way around. But it’s better than the pathetic feeling of trying to cum when masturbating with a semi.
If I get really picky and try to find something to complain about, I could say that maybe my foreskin has been stretched out. I guess something must compensate. A normal dick will be substantially larger when erect than flaccid. Hence the foreskin can cover the glans fully when flaccid, and gets stretched back when erect. Now all of a sudden, the flaccid is not so much smaller than the erection, and much larger than the pre-op flaccid. If the foreskin wouldn’t compensate by getting stretched out and get longer, then the glans could not be covered when flaccid. If it does stretch out and get longer, then there will be slightly too much of it when erect. And I think this is what has happened to me. Not a problem in practice – I don’t feel any negative consequences from it – but it must go on the list of what is not perfect.
Size of flaccid. This is another issue. I’d say it depends on what I am wearing. Sometimes the bigger flaccid is probably not even noticeable. Sometimes is is noticeable, but just at a level where it looks kind of ‘good’ to have a big dick. And still sometimes, it is an issue. Not a big issue, but still something that must go on the list of what is not perfect.
And of course, having the pump in the scrotum is definitely on the not-perfect list. It makes it impossible to hide for a woman. Well, unless you have sex with that woman without her touching your balls of course. But I seldom do and seldom did.
When talking about what’s not perfect with the work of Eid, it is more difficult. The cons mentioned above is more general for an implant.
Maybe I could mention the tubing up to the reservoir. I can feel it quite easily on my left side if I press with my fingers. On the other hand, I am quite lean with visible abs, and according to Eid, he couldn’t put the tubing any deeper. He told me already immediately after surgery that my tubing will probably be more easy to feel than his normal patient. Who is an older, fatter man where the tubing will drown in the belly fat. This being said, I still think it is a minor issue. It is not visible, only that it can be felt if I press skin with my fingers.
My dick also had a combination of a curve and a twist pre-op. Eid managed to almost completely remove the curve (it went from 40 degrees to a minimum, let’s say <5 degrees. The twist however is still there. Eid was again correct in his prediction. He said the curve would improve a lot, maybe even disappear. But the twist would be harder to fix. He said pre-op it’d probably be unchanged post-op, but slowly improve or disappear over several years. So far he was right and I have no complaints about that twist. After all, it has always been there. And it doesn’t affect the function in any way, It is more of a cosmetic issue. But probably only for me. Wife says she never barely thought about it, not even when first seeing me.


Any pain?
Short answer: no. Not when having sex with a good pump level. Having hard sex with maximum inflation is not painful, but not 100% comfortable either. Pumping for myself will cause some ache in the tip when reaching around 25 pumps (full is 28-29 plus 3-4 partial pumps). This is without arousal, and not a bad pain. If pumping 100% full without arousal, it hurts. Enough pain for me to not want to stay there for more than a few minutes. And hence I don’t. I never believe in working against pain. Pain is a warning signal which I take seriously. Eid said as well that when pumping, never push beyond the pain level. Discomfort is ok, but pain is not. My cycling strategy hence is to pump up to level of discomfort. Stay there for as long as I have time, and then go till full and stay here only a few minutes. The difference between the discomfort level and the pain level is however decreasing week by week.
But when glans is engorged (i.e. when aroused), there is no tip pain even if pumping completely full.

Other issues
As I have said before, I think the whole thing is something one needs some time to get used to. Not only from a physical point of view, but equally from a mental point of view. I have also said all the time that it is just a matter of time. It has been almost 4 months for me now, including 3 months of using it. And I am definitely getting used to it…