Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

[antelope]

Jim you are an inspiration to us all. Thanks.

Greg

[Genome]

I always thought I was one of a few who J'd/O after marriage. I didn't restart until 2n son was born and then not that often until probably 20 urs ago. No one ever talked about it. Do you think that those of us in groups like this are few in number? My wife can't believe I'm normal and she probably never has masturbated. Many think it's an unforgiveable sin. I would like to know how many clergy do it.

Well I know of at least 3 clergymen on this site who wank one or more times a day. And numerous other Christians on here who do.

[antelope]

I'm reminded of an old joke:

Yep, times are changing. Catholics are eating meat on Friday; Jews are eating pork now and then; and the Baptists are drinking in front of each other. Just saying.

BTW, I are one of them thar dunkers so don't give me any PC grief.

[3mtrship]

And we both masterbate now to enjoy some sex without penetration. Masterbation is a regular part of how we "Edge" ourselves for those times we attempt insertion.

Plus we have one more physical obstacle to navigate past. I am on Oxygen 24/7. I can't be as athletic as I was but gosh darned I'm still in the game and not the grave so who cares.

Jim

[sogwap]

To answer the question.... In my experience Solo can bring more pleasure, since I am in control of the pace and stimulation. However Intercourse is more fulfilling.
On the other hand I believe that (in my relatively new marriage 2 years) as my wife and I become more in tune with each other our sexual capacity will have no comparison.

[Late Starter]

Let me introduce myself. This is my first post, and frankly although I am a member on here have not come to this sight very often. But the title of this post hit right at home and I couldn't resist responding. I am 68 and I had an penile implant this past February. It definitely took care of the erection problem and the surgery was very successful. However, as the Dr. told me before the surgery, this would not help my orgasms as all. I tried pumping which was to stimulate erections, but since my surgery I really don't need that now. My problem is that though I love my wife very much, I cannot have an orgasm in her as I can not get enough stimulation That is no fault of her. So what happens is that when we have intercourse I satisfy her needs, but I don't have an orgasm. Even when I try to masturbate in her presence, I get tired out because of trying too hard. Do I masturbate yes. I can usually have an orgasm but it is after a lot of self stimulation or or being stimulated visually by pictures on here or the foreskin restoration sites, not by pornography. I don't mind saying that I am a pastor and as one pastor was quoted in an earlier post, It is where your mind is that determines whether it is right or wrong. If I don't fantasize about other women or immoral thoughts, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. If I fantasize about my wife, or just enjoy my own body as was mentioned earlier I don't see anything wrong with it. Well that is pretty much it. It just makes me feel better that I am not alone in this, that there are a lot of men my age or close to my age that are struggling with this same thing. But one thing I do know is that I am a fighter, I am not going to give up as long as I can continue to have sexual satisfaction, even if it has to take on a new means of getting there.

[Peckerwood]

Late Starter, your post is very meaningful.

[Norman]

. I think just about 100% of men masturbate as boys. When marriage comes along, men may or may not halt masturbatory activities for a while. But, I believe most men continue the big M as a separate part of their sexuality that brings different but exquisite feelings to their lives. Most men enjoy the big M as an adjunct to sex with their wives for release and for another form of sexual pleasure.

I'm very much in agreement with "thinktank" on this. After marriage I had wonderful sexual intercourse with my wife, usually twice a day. My penis got satisfied in her and for a while I didn't have much need to masturbate. However, after a couple years, and having children, the sex activity between us diminished and I went back to masturbating. I simply needed the relief frequently, and whether or not my wife and I had a fuck, I usually masturbated once a day also. Part of it was pride with what I have down below, and wanting to dwell on it for a few minutes undisturbed. I'm well hung and like to concentrate on it while I take it from flaccid to orgasm. The first time my wife happened to come in and see me doing it she was somewhat surprised, but not upset. She just didn't know that men need that outlet as often as they do. After that she sometimes would do me the favor of pumping my penis for me until I ejaculated, for that was something that she found pleasurable.

[3mtrship]

I glad you both found that outlet. Please try one more variation and let her initiate and use you as a sex toy for her satisfaction. You both might be surprise.

Happy New Year, Jim

[MontanaMan]

I certainly prefer intercourse over masturbating. During my wife's 5 years of perimenopause, I had to masturbate at least 2 times per intercourse. Having masturbated from 2 or 3 times per year for 25 years, it was a shock to the system to needing it 2-3 times per week. Being that my wife is so good to me wanting my best, she encouraged me to take care of myself. She has made the times when we do get to have intercourse so much better! She actually looks forward to relieving me with her body even when she has aches and pains. If having physical sexual issues is making us grow closer, then why should I lament?

As to the question of masturbation for a pastor, I can tell you that as a pastor with six sons, I made sure they started puberty off right by learning to enjoy God's created male sexuality for them. I told them and the young men in our church for years that God said, "It is not good for man to he alone. I will make a helpmeet for him." (Genesis 2:18). 'Helpmeet' is 'ezer in Hebrew which means 'one who is perfectly able to help and relieve." With the knowledge of God's promise that He does indeed have that woman for him, a young man can guiltlessly and thankfully masturbate knowing that he will have great sex with his wife who is made perfectly to relieve him. Every young man who has held onto that hope has enjoyed a strong purposeful sexual maturing that has prepared them to lead their wives in even more enjoyable marital sex.

Young men get it. For us older crowd, it was a classic moment years ago during our marriage seminar when I first made the statement to the wives, "You will know your husband if you know his masturbation history."