G'day guys

[AussieRjay]

Hi all

Finally joined the site as a member after reading so many threads.

I want to sincerely thank Paul for this fantastic resource, and the men who have been so open and honest in posting about their situation, what they have been through and where they ended up. I'm glad to be able to join in.

As for me, I'm currently 43 and started getting mild ED at age 18, just as I was beginning to have my first few sexual experiences. I thought it was all in my head, and was told as much by more than one doctor, because guys that age don't get ED, right?

Well, it looks like that was never the case. I have organic ED, diagnosed venous leak by doppler ultrasound in my early 30s. By then I was struggling more, but the PDE5s were a semi-reliable crutch. The occasional failures knocked my confidence around a lot though.

I had a 12 year relationship where things deteriorated further, and to make it even better it was quite an abusive relationship in numerous respects, I was belittled for my condition for years, every time there was an argument of any kind I had the label "softcock" thrown at me. At one point my ED meds were confiscated so that my very sexual function could be controlled along with the rest of my life, even while I knew my partner was seeing other men. That event resulted in a rage of the kind I had never imagined I could experience, it was quite frightening. My vision reduced to a red tunnel, and I finally realised the phrase "to see red" was not just a saying. Guess I had some suppressed anger built up there!

I finally woke up to myself and got out of there. I stayed single for over 5 years, had little or no sex and did not even try to meet a new partner, I had insufficient confidence and gave up on it. I already had a dog (incidentally, Australian Cattle Dogs are the most amazing creatures, among the top 5 in intelligence, loyal beyond belief and they glue themselves to one person, with little interest in others). Pretty sure that dog's company saved my life, and that's the truth. Lost him 2 years ago to - wait for it - prostate cancer.

I met a new partner at 41, we got along so well but my problem was its downfall after 18 months, single again now.

Things have continued their slow deterioration. PDE5s still work to some extent, sometimes well enough that I could have sex, often not. Not worth the risk of the shame that follows a failure, so I've tried to be satisfied with Rosie Palmer and her 5 lovely daughters....

Over the last year or so, the unreliability of the PDEs (I have always taken them (semi) regularly just for the sake of penile health, even when no sex planned - I seem to be the same dimensions now that I always was) caused me to change my masturbation style to an overhand, tight tugging grip. Yeah, take my advice and don't do that. It has started causing some mild deformation to the shaft and potentially some scarring (I hope not).

I tried injections briefly. They worked, at the time (this was about 10 years ago), but caused such throbbing pain in the cavernosa that although I had a decent hardon, the pain made sex less than enjoyable. A net detriment overall.

I've tried herbal this and that, dietary changes, combos of tongkat ali, pycnogenol, l-arginine & muira puama etc. that seemed hopeful in various rat studies. Shame I am not a lab rat, they made a little difference around the edges, but proved to be no miracle cure.

I'm not willing to use a pump. It seems like a poor man's implant, but an inconvenient mood killer to boot. It might be different if I had a loving longterm partner who would work with me, but I do not. I doubt I'd get many second dates after an event like that. People are shallow for the most part, that's just the simple truth, and most don't want to take on a liability like that in a new partner.

The strange, strange thing is that every now and then - about once every one to two years, I will have a "miracle week" where things more or less just work. This has been very difficult to take, as they give me hope that something simple has been missed, and the situation is reversible. I've had my T levels checked over many years, it fluctuates wildly from the low end of the normal range to the middle. I have tried to convince a doctor to give me a trial of T shots or gel, as there have been reports of these sometimes causing regeneration of the endothelium, and a reversal of venous leak. In Australia, getting T treatment when you are not very clearly well below the normal range is utterly impossible. It is tightly regulated and nothing like the States. I will just have to wonder whether that would ever have made a difference.

So here I am now, largely thanks to this site, very seriously contemplating implantation. Very hesitant, for all the reasons others have stated. I was blessed with a very nice 7x6" unit, and when it works well I have always been fairly pleased with what I was given at birth. When the wretched thing works, I get compliments and that has been about the only thing that has kept me from total ego annihilation over the years.

I think the main things holding me back from implantation are of course the usual vain hope that some cure might be within reach (I'm growing in acceptance of the remote prospect of that - and growing older too, to boot; how many more years of stress and anxiety and general dissatisfaction with life do I give to this issue? I'm not getting any younger, or prettier!), and the other thing is that I am terrified of my unit being mangled, misshapen or its dimensions much changed at the hands of a surgeon who didn't have his best day. Then of course, at my present age (no spring chicken anymore, but I have a lot of life left (hopefully) to live) there is the likelihood of replacement at some point and the real, if low, prospect of total loss of function permanently if it has to be removed for any reason.

I must say, the guys on the implant forum have been a big inspiration. Before I found FrankTalk I had no intention whatever of going that route, but more and more it is looking like the right choice. To be quite honest, I suspect it will end up doing more for my pretty rotten mental state of two decades' standing than anything else! I feel like the prime of my male life was largely denied me, and I am strongly motivated to seize the remainder of it.

I have a way to go yet in convincing myself to get this done. I suspect I am going to reach the turning point within the next year or so, and the mild changes / deformity caused by recent bad masturbation style has added some urgency to this deliberation. If atrophy and scar tissue are going to start doing their damage, I think better sooner than later for the implant in terms of a good result size-wise. Yet, if I receive a bad outcome I suspect that will convert a continual mild depression to a life threatening one.

I will post some more in due course, questions and whatnot, in the implants forum.

For now, once again my heartfelt thanks to you guys, the site is a ray of light in a dark place. I'm a pretty open and upfront guy without much in the way of shame or hangups to do with sex, and that's the polar opposite to most - except for you excellent gentlemen here, and the web is full of so much exploitative and misleading drivel that FrankTalk was like finding a gemstone in all the sand on the beach.

Apologies for the wall of text, but as I typed I found it quite cathartic and it all just spilled out!

Best wishes,
AussieRjay.

[gollam121]

Hi Aussie,
Your situation sounds pretty much the same as mine; I had moderate ED in my late teens and underwent ligation surgery at 22 for a diagnosed venous leak which improved things vastly for about 6 weeks and then things back plus maybe 15% better.

I had just got with a girl who went onto to be my first wife when I had this done, PD5’s weren’t available back in 1997 so although sex with a VL wasn’t always great we did manage to have 3 children together over a 14 year period which is a miracle in itself. I had learned to cope that I was different although it did get me down on occasions.
When we split up in 2011 I was devastated and then became depressed that no other women would want me because of the VL. I met a woman about 5 months after we split and tried a Cialis tablet; we had the best sex I’d ever had on the third date although some positions were still difficult. Because of the too early for a relationship thing we remained friends and I met someone else, I started buying tablets online by this point and at times used injections, however things didn’t work very well and I failed maybe 4-5 times on the bounce early on, I now realize this was performance related and in my head. We split up after a short time and I decided to go to New York and invited my first fling post separation. Things just happened and we are together to this day.

Over the last 5 years things have started to get gradually worse so I decided to undergo a Scelrothreapy last September (You can read mine and others experiences on the young member thread) For me this was a disaster and a waste of money, this said I’m still able to perform at least 7 out of 10, however at 42 I’m aware things won’t magically improve so I’m weighing up the implant as my only option moving forward but like you keep one eye on new treatments.

Good luck with your quest and I hope you find your solution soon.
Gollam

[Donnie1954]

Take the leap dude. Get the implant. Join us bionic bros!

[Anonymous2]

Hi Mate, Look and from a good friend on here, just forget about an implant, till you have gone down every avenue, he wish's he had just waited that bit longer, remember after an implant there is nothing, if your not happy there is no way back, something you really do need to think about.

When it comes to using herbs and supplements its not just down to one. its a mix we need.

The most important thing is to get your blood zing round your body and for that we need it good and clean, and remember we are what we eat, drink and smoke, things like being over weight don't help you, and if your on any kind of drugs long term, as these can be sex killers, some drugs there are ways round them.

But back to your blood, good erections like good blood, I will PM you some things and its up to you if you try them. OK

NOWHARD