25 year old can't maintain erection: unsure if physical or psychological

[Revolution91]

Hello everyone,

(first off: sorry for any grammar / spelling mistakes, English is not my native language!)

So I've recently started having erection problems, and I'm unsure whether they are psychological or physical in nature. I guess it'd be best if I gave you a short summary of what has happened to me:

I am a 25 year old man and in January, I got a new girlfriend, after a long period of being alone and thus not sexually active. I must admit, I only had one girlfriend before and I wouldn't consider myself particularly sexually experienced. She, on the other hand, despite the fact that she's two years younger, has already had multiple sexual partners and generally seems somewhat experienced. Anyway, when we tried to have sex for the first time I was very aroused, but lost my erection at the moment of penetration (before I could enter her). Obviously, this was a shocking experience, especially because it happened two more times since then: I get it up, but then I get trapped in a downward spiral, thinking it will happen again - and of course, this leads to the inevitable. It got to the point that the third time we tried I worried about it all day long and didn't even feel any sex drive at all.
Interestingly though, I have not had this problem when we had mutual oral sex only. This has never happened to me with my previous girlfriend, but then again I care so much about my new girlfriend (especially after 4 years of being alone...) that I definitely feel more pressure now than before.

Now at first glance, this seems to be a prime example of psychological / anxiety-related ED: a less experienced guy has no problem getting it up, but at the "moment of truth" he gets nervous and loses his erection. When he gets a BJ on the other hand (where the pressure isn't on him), he can maintain his erection. It's like a textbook case of psychological ED, I know.

But: some months ago, I had trouble getting an erection when I tried to masturbate for about 5-6 days (long before I met my girlfriend) - I just couldn't get it up, and in particular the corpus spongiosum simply would not fill with blood but stay "flat".
Also, I recently found myself unable to get a "full erection" when masturbating - basically I cannot get 100% hard when I'm lying down or standing; the only position that I can get a really hard erection is when I'm sitting on a hard surface. Also, I need constant stimulation when masturbating to keep the erection. This makes me think that there might be more to it than just psychological factors.
Then again, I thought that maybe the bad sexual experience left me in such a state of distress that even masturbating becomes a stressful "chore" rather than something I enjoy...?! My penis also has a somewhat pronounced upwards "curve" / bend in the middle and seems slightly rotated to the left side, maybe this inhibits proper blood flow?

At this point, I'd almost be relieved if there was a physical component to my problems, too (something like a venous leak etc.) - just to prove that it's not entirely in my mind...

Anyway, I wanted to ask you guys a couple of questions:

1. Do you think the problems are purely psychological? Or could the fact that I sometimes struggle to get an erection when masturbating indicate that it's maybe a combination of psychological and physical issues? Can a single bad sexual experience really leave you THIS stressed out that you're unable (!) to masturbate?

2. Do you think a penis ring would help in this situation? My reasoning is something like this: I get hard during foreplay, "trap" the blood with the penis ring just long enough so that I can penetrate my gf, and from that point onwards the feeling of being inside her helps me maintain my erection.

3. Should I consider Viagra etc. as a confidence builder? Again, my reasoning would be as follows: I take a small dose of Viagra to have 1-2 successful attempts at having sex with my girlfriend, which then gives me confidence the next time I do it without Viagra.

I know you can't diagnose my problems through an online forum, and I have already made an appointment with my urologist, but I'd simply like to hear some words of wisdom from the FrankTalk community, because this is a really stressful situation for me. I'm so afraid of ruining my new relationship, although my girlfriend has been very supportive and understanding...

[Gordon]

Go to your appointment and tell the doc everything. He or she might be able to refer you to some sort of help. Good luck to you.

[moreorless]

Do you have morning erections? Are they durable when you wake up?

[Revolution91]

Do you have morning erections? Are they durable when you wake up?

Maybe 1 morning erection every 10 days? And even then it's about 60-70% hard an subsides within a minute after I stand up.

[moreorless]

Do you have morning erections? Are they durable when you wake up?

Maybe 1 morning erection every 10 days? And even then it's about 60-70% hard an subsides within a minute after I stand up.

It sounds similar to what happens to me.
Tell me another thing if you want: Do you get erections complete or almost complete without touching you? I want to say while you are watching porn for example..

[Revolution91]

Do you have morning erections? Are they durable when you wake up?

Maybe 1 morning erection every 10 days? And even then it's about 60-70% hard an subsides within a minute after I stand up.

It sounds similar to what happens to me.
Tell me another thing if you want: Do you get erections complete or almost complete without touching you? I want to say while you are watching porn for example..

I used to maybe a year ago, but right now I definitely couldn't get an erection without stimulation. Well, right now in this moment I'd say I couldn't get one even with manual stimulation.

Overall I don't watch a lot of porn though, and never have. So it can't be one of those "too much porn killed my sex drive" cases either...

[moreorless]

Maybe 1 morning erection every 10 days? And even then it's about 60-70% hard an subsides within a minute after I stand up.

It sounds similar to what happens to me.
Tell me another thing if you want: Do you get erections complete or almost complete without touching you? I want to say while you are watching porn for example..

I used to maybe a year ago, but right now I definitely couldn't get an erection without stimulation. Well, right now in this moment I'd say I couldn't get one even with manual stimulation.

Overall I don't watch a lot of porn though, and never have. So it can't be one of those "too much porn killed my sex drive" cases either...

But how long can you not get an erection without stimulation?
can you not for years or only recently?

[Revolution91]

But how long can you not get an erection without stimulation?
can you not for years or only recently?

I don't think I ever really got a lot of erections just from thoughts alone, but it has definitely gotten worse lately.

Also, I kind of feel like my penis has lost sensation. It used to be more sensitive to the touch, whereas now it sometimes feels a bit numb, and even parts that should be hyper sensitive like the frenulum aren't so anymore.

Sometimes I think this is all in my mind, but then again these do seem like real, physical symptoms...

[moreorless]

But how long can you not get an erection without stimulation?
can you not for years or only recently?

I don't think I ever really got a lot of erections just from thoughts alone, but it has definitely gotten worse lately.

Also, I kind of feel like my penis has lost sensation. It used to be more sensitive to the touch, whereas now it sometimes feels a bit numb, and even parts that should be hyper sensitive like the frenulum aren't so anymore.

Sometimes I think this is all in my mind, but then again these do seem like real, physical symptoms...

Really is simillar to my situation, i have less sensation in my penis too or something so.
My advice is what you go to the andrologist(i dont know if this word is correct) well i mean urologist specialiced in ED.
Surely he does not take you seriously, because you are young, but you tell him all this, and say him that you want a doppler, it measures your blood circulation. But it sometimes isnt correct in cases of venous leak
If doppler is good and you arent agree, you tell him you want a cavernosography it is venography in the cavernosum corpus.
It sometimes dont see some vein affected but it is safer than doppler.
Take care
If you want tell me something you feel free to send me a PM

[tomas1]

I would (and have) try Viagra.
If it works, maybe eventually you can wean yourself off it. If not, keep using it.