I am glad I found this forum

[danny1553]

I am glad such a forum exists. I have been looking for some meaningful information for quite a while but all search internet engines are overwhelmed with marketing crap, spam, fraud and other BS.

Few words about myself. I am 39yo. I have a wife and kids. I have been having ED since late teens. However since I had quite a tough start in my life I used to think that the problem was rather “environmental”. That once everything is OK the sex life will go back to normal… though I barely can remember what “normal “means.

Until recently when I was diagnosed with the severe venous leak. A bit of digging confirmed that in my case it was genetically derived from my father… That was quite depressing news. By my very nature I am perfectionist and finding out that I am defective was a tough lesson… If I knew it earlier I probably would not have kids to prevent this genetic condition to spread.
Now I feel disgusted about myself. The idea that I can be only a “friend” with a woman drives me crazy. Not that I was ever being “macho” but just feel very sorry about my wife.

T-shots put my emotional level to more under control so now I have less suicidal thoughts but on the other hand it is just another patch to the manhood…
Pills do not really work in my case because they just increase the blood flow, but I have no problem with the blood flow in. The problem is that the blood goes back; pretty much like pumping the tire with a hole in it. To maintain an erection I have to be in a constant increase of the desire through actions and phantasies but with the time this becomes harder and harder (lazy brain). Still at the first opportunity that lazy bastard goes flaccid, usually taking at the most inappropriate moment.

Injections did not work either. The strongest dosage made me 3min of the erection – the “successful failure” as I call it.
I noticed that my urologist is preparing me for the mental decision on the implant. Initially I was enthusiastic about that but then I saw that uTube video where the doctor pumps an implant of some older guy. The way the erection was coming reminded me of the Frankenstein movie and freaked me out. Then the picture of the broken penis with exposed rods posted on this site made me almost to throw up. And finally the post-implant length issue. Even now I am not happy with my “useless piece of meat” and if after an implant it will become even shorter it will be a complete waste of time and hope because my wife likes it longer, not shorter.

Anyway I guess I cannot change the reality but instead have to change my acceptance of it. I just regret that my wife has to suffer because of my condition… she cannot accept any surrogates such as vibrators, oral, etc. She prefers nothing than a surrogate.

Well the introduction turned out to be quite lengthy and chaotic. Thank you for reading.

[antelope]

Danny,

You've come to the right place. There are lots of guys here--some younger than you--who have had great success with penile implants. No doubt they will give you some insight based on their experience. More than anything, please be assured that you're not alone and that there is hope. There is a remedy that's just right for you.

Before I found my solution (trimix injections), my mantra was "this is not acceptable". My medical team agreed and we kept going until we found the solution together. I promise you there can be hard times ahead for you. Hang in there.

Greg from Baton Rouge

[danny1553]

Thank you for your support Greg.
I realize that the situation is not my fault but still have to deal with an anger and frustration...
Perhaps if the entire implant process was not that lengthy I would feel better. After all, "waiting for the death is worth than the death".
The problem is that in our public Healthcare system (Canada, Ottawa) the waiting list for the surgery is more than 2 years so the next 2 years are not going to be too exciting.

[Cajun Jeff]

Danny, Glad you found this site. Lots of great guys that will help you through this. You have seen the pics of really bad outcomes. I was concerned when the pics were posted that guys just like you would be scared away from the implant because of it.. I know the intent was just to inform guys that not all impalnts are equal. We have many guys on FT that have had implants done and for the most part they are very pleased with the new natural ability to have sex.

I hope that you will join us in the chat room. I know the wait if difficult for you. As Greg said there are guys here on FT that are younger than you that have implants and very happy that they have gone bionic.

Best of luck and don't be a stranger.

Cajun Jeff

[antelope]

Yep we all know about those feelings of anger, frustration, helplessness, and depression. That's why we all support each other. No one who has not had a limp dick can possibly understand what it's like. We're with you man. Stay in touch.

[thinktank]

Welcome Danny

So sorry about your venous leak. I can understand the depth of your despair with just the few times I have had my unit go flaccid during sex.

Dont let the bad press of a "lesser surgeon" freak you out. Find a good surgeon and go for it.

And read up on pumping and a cock ring......Have you tried cock rings to entrap blood and keep you hard? If not, there is a pumping board on this website where men will advise you.

I somehow hope the acceptance of other men here will help salve your wounded man spirit. Yes, we men are about our hard dicks that please our wives in one sense, but in another sense, we are much more than hard dicks that work. You sound like a good guy with a great wife, so take consolation in some of your blessings until you find a solution. Among us, you are REAL man to search for a solution. Men fix things. Its part of our mentality: and it sounds like you are well on your way to fixing your problem.

Take heart man. You are among friends who understand and want to help you.

[danny1553]

Thank you guys. That was a really warm welcome… quite unexpected… I used to either cynic or completely “bold” politically-correct environment so hearing a heart-full support was amazing. I did not even realize that nowadays there can be people helping other without an expectation of a profit…

Thinktank, thank you for the suggestion about the pump – I am looking already for this approach. Though the tough part on my side is going to be the fact that my wife easily loses desire at the very first step outside outside of the “romantic routine”… But I will try it anyway. As for choosing a surgeon the thing is that I live in Canada where within realities of the public health care we do not really have a choice other than whatever is offered by the hospital; and the waiting list is way beyond any reasonable terms – in our area (Ottawa) it is around 2-3 years. Once I win the lottery ticket I will fly somewhere to the private hospital where I could choose the surgeon and the treatment option

[thinktank]

Danny

Romantic Routine, eh?

Son, the best thing you can ever do in this erectile dysfunction mess is to make your wife part of the solution. I know that most of us men find sitting down with our wives and discussing our failures to be an extremely difficult thing to do.

But if your wife is as I think she is, she loves you and her response will probably be one of acceptance and willingness to help you and become part of the solution.

With E D, the old wonderful days of up, point, insert, and shoot are gone. A limp dick is a disatrous thing to a man as you well know.

I would counsel you to make your wife part of the solution here. I believe she will rally to you and you will have a better marriage. She needs to know what is going on in your head and heart and how you feel with a limp dick. I know that pumping up and working with a cock ring are not the thing you would want to do when you get intimate........But making your wife aware of your struggle and helping her relax while you and she get it up together for intimacy will bring you two closer together. A shared problem, especially in E D where the marriage bond is strong between husband and wife, will take the load off your shoulders and you may even be able to joke about junior and working with him to get it up.

Just my thoughts. Other guys may want to chime in on this matter of sharing E D concerns with your spouse. I know that my wife has helped me deal with a limper dick and proved it to me in a wonderful fashion just last night when I told her I needed to be harder. She came to my rescue in the middle of lovemaking and it was one of the hottest times of my marriage.

[danny1553]

Thank you Thinktank

I think we are working on that. We can discuss the matter and even make jokes about that. Currently the problem is that she thinks she helps me by ignoring the subject; or assurance that "it doesn't matter to her too much"... and any attempt to discuss details usually ends up with the statement "do not you worry about that"; and if I try to deliver the message that I need her help her usual reaction is "do not make me responsible for the condition".
So far the option "ignore the subject" is our way of dealing with the case. Sometimes I blame the fact she is living in the world of "women romance novels" that she reads a lot and has no real knowledge of the male sexuality. But on the other hand I cannot make her to participate if this causes her rejection, so she is right - I cannot make her "responsible" for the condition by getting her involved if she doesn't feel like that.
I will see where it goes...

BTW I like the word "bionic" that I met on the forum . The name is much more appealing than the "penile implant"... only if not the shortage issue...

[soxtory]

First post, not sure if the correct spot. My urologist gave me 20mgcy injection of edex twice, both times worked super. First time I did it, results were not good enough to perform. I am wondering how I could have messed up or what was the reason. I hate to bother my doc too often. Plan to try again this Sunday; anyone have any thoughts?

I bought the edex by mail from drugstores.com, owned by Walgreens. My girlfriend, a PHD nurse, thinks they may sell sub par or old drugs.