Masturbation during marriage

[DonDon]

It depends on my partner....
At home, the wife is very conservative and seems not to masturbate, herself. But she may when I am away. Her drive is much less than mine, so I do it whenever we can't seem to coordinate schedules for sex. Life is busy and we crash at different times. In her favor, though, when first married, she told me that she understood and that I had permission to masturbate whenever I wanted (needed) to, and so I do, to this day. Not often, one or two times a week, usually in the shower. Started the shower routine to avoid disposing of the mess, but that's over now. We usually have sex another 2 -3 times a week, and that keeps me satisfied. On vacations, we try to sync schedules and go for it every night. Hence, no masturbating necessary. During my "flaccid period" after RP, she eagerly would get me off to keep me sane. At night she would just reach over and stroke my dick, and if I wanted to cum, she would follow through. She really was good at finding that perfect spot to put me over the top even if limp as a cooked noodle.
I travel some and take along a friend as often as I can. A couple of my girlfriends are so horny that they want it all the time. When with one of them, my dick is so busy that no masturbating is necessary. Other of my girlfriends seem normally sexed and just try to keep me satisfied to my normal level. One in particular relates to me that her husband jerks off in bed next to her after she falls asleep. Sometimes she isn't fully asleep. That pisses her off in that she would rather he wake her to put it in her. Still another likes to give oral sex in the morning, EVERY morning. Then we do it at night for her. Her theory is that a satisfied man is a happy man. In these cases, no masturbating necessary. The most satisfying thing is when they breathlessly tell me after great sex, "I am so happy, pant, that you had that, pant, operation!" (implant surgery).
Overall, I prefer real sex with real women who want good sex. Masturbation is just to maintain my sanity. I know when I need some release. Really did enjoy those ejaculations that are missing now.

[David_R]

the thrill of ejaculation isn't there any more.

My orgasms feel 99% the same since my prostate was removed in 2000; I just don't have the feeling of cum rushing through my dick and shooting out the pee hole. The whole total-body almost seizure-like feelings are still there though, so I really am satisfied with my orgasms.

[Larry10625]

It depends on my partner....
At home, the wife is very conservative and seems not to masturbate, herself. But she may when I am away. Her drive is much less than mine, so I do it whenever we can't seem to coordinate schedules for sex. Life is busy and we crash at different times. In her favor, though, when first married, she told me that she understood and that I had permission to masturbate whenever I wanted (needed) to, and so I do, to this day. Not often, one or two times a week, usually in the shower. Started the shower routine to avoid disposing of the mess, but that's over now. We usually have sex another 2 -3 times a week, and that keeps me satisfied. On vacations, we try to sync schedules and go for it every night. Hence, no masturbating necessary. During my "flaccid period" after RP, she eagerly would get me off to keep me sane. At night she would just reach over and stroke my dick, and if I wanted to cum, she would follow through. She really was good at finding that perfect spot to put me over the top even if limp as a cooked noodle.
I travel some and take along a friend as often as I can. A couple of my girlfriends are so horny that they want it all the time. When with one of them, my dick is so busy that no masturbating is necessary. Other of my girlfriends seem normally sexed and just try to keep me satisfied to my normal level. One in particular relates to me that her husband jerks off in bed next to her after she falls asleep. Sometimes she isn't fully asleep. That pisses her off in that she would rather he wake her to put it in her. Still another likes to give oral sex in the morning, EVERY morning. Then we do it at night for her. Her theory is that a satisfied man is a happy man. In these cases, no masturbating necessary. The most satisfying thing is when they breathlessly tell me after great sex, "I am so happy, pant, that you had that, pant, operation!" (implant surgery).
Overall, I prefer real sex with real women who want good sex. Masturbation is just to maintain my sanity. I know when I need some release. Really did enjoy those ejaculations that are missing now.

Permission to masturbate???

Larry

[Howling8]

I'm having problems with Delayed Ejaculation. Book I just read said refrain from masturbating. It's tough lol. Hope it works tho. I still come but have to get it almost to the finish and then she takes care of the rest. Anyone else with this dilemma? Comes and goes over the years. Hoping it's just my meds and I can change them. Thanks

[bldoink]

Howling8

Welcome to the forum.

That topic has been covered several times. None of the discussions had magic bullet answers. The threads on the topic can be found by going to the Index page and typing anorgasmia in the search box. Several other search terms should work as well like "difficulty orgasming", trouble cumming", and etc. Recent threads can be found here http://www.franktalk.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8875 and here http://www.franktalk.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=10287 and others. Personally, and along the line of questioning mentioned in your original post, I found some value in the Fleshlight program mentioned in the first link.

Good luck and let us know if you find a cure or solution.

[David_R]

+1

[AnotherOldMan]

"A 2004 JAMA study was among the first to suggest a modifiable risk factor, finding “high ejaculation frequency” may be associated with lower risk for prostate cancer."

I showed this to my wife and she said that anything beyond 3 times a week I would have to handle the problem myself.

[goodwoodnow]

So, I agree with everyone who has replied. Masturbating is good, and done right, slowly savoring every sensation, taking as much time to gradually increase the arousal, it's wonderful. a spectacular way for us older guys to "stay in the game", our systems charged.

But.... it seems that too many still need to almost "make excuses" for masturbating, mostly on the idea that we men have more sexual needs than our wives and that we need to do it to relieve sexual tension. I do agree that it is a way to have sex with another person...yourself.

I no longer get many spontaneous erections that need to be "relieved". But I love the sensation of getting erections even if now I am so far from "horny" that I need to inject medication to get that feeling I crave....call it "horny" That it has to be induced like that takes nothing away from the pleasure masturbating gives me. No excuses. I love how it feels to make love to myself. My wife understands and often participates or just watches, which I especially enjoy.

[oldbeek]

So, I agree with everyone who has replied. Masturbating is good, and done right, slowly savoring every sensation, taking as much time to gradually increase the arousal, it's wonderful. a spectacular way for us older guys to "stay in the game", our systems charged.

But.... it seems that too many still need to almost "make excuses" for masturbating, mostly on the idea that we men have more sexual needs than our wives and that we need to do it to relieve sexual tension. I do agree that it is a way to have sex with another person...yourself.

I no longer get many spontaneous erections that need to be "relieved". But I love the sensation of getting erections even if now I am so far from "horny" that I need to inject medication to get that feeling I crave....call it "horny" That it has to be induced like that takes nothing away from the pleasure masturbating gives me. No excuses. I love how it feels to make love to myself. My wife understands and often participates or just watches, which I especially enjoy.

I agree with you 100%. It feels good just to stroke my dick when I control all the action.

[rbrown]

I have been married 37 years and have always masturbated. I started when I was eleven and have never stopped. As I got older I did i less, but when I got my ED and fixed it, i started learning tantra, and since my wife has virtually no libido I now do prolonged, 3-4 hour masturbation sessions several times a week (only ejaculating once a week or two)...tantra has actually taught me to enjoy masturbation much much more--and taught me new and exciting ways to orgasm!