Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?
Old Guy
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby Old Guy » Mon Sep 05, 2022 1:01 pm

CanGetItUpButNoMore wrote:
Old Guy wrote:Must be tough since your wife doesn't care if she orgasms or not. Once my wife gets close to the point of orgasm doing it doggy, she'll start bucking back into me.

Yes, it's confusing. She professes, and acts, that orgasms are unimportant but if I get her close, she really goes for it. But if it doesn't happen, then it's no big deal... "next time". I'm 100% confident that she never gives herself an orgasm.


It does sound like she's never masturbated or played with her own body. I've always believed that if you know what feels good on your own body, it's easier to teach your partner your likes and dislikes.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

ape1100
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby ape1100 » Mon Sep 05, 2022 7:35 pm

I count myself truly lucky to have a great supportive wife. She’s one that knows an orgasm isn’t as important as the intimate time we spent together and she’s made me see that after ED robbed us both of them. We always had a healthy sex life but now that I’m on trimix it has really opened up our experience. Yes, sex is not scheduled and spontaneity is gone but when we do have sex we know what is expected. Because we have a better and longer opportunity at sex, it is more pleasurable and she has more orgasms than we can both count. Our problem is that we both want to please each other rather than focus on our own. Drugs, injections or another condition have left me with anorgasmia so I’m lucky if i have one orgasm but I’ve come to live with it as it gives me the opportunity to please her again and again each time we have sex. So now, because of injecting she orgasms very regularly from any position as well as oral and anal.
50+ yrs old. married 25+ years. hypothyroid, on TRT. 10+ years ED, viagra, cialis now 50% ineffective. now on trimix 2MG phentolamine/30MG papaverine/20MCG alprostadil

AmansinCali
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby AmansinCali » Fri Oct 07, 2022 2:11 pm

This is all very interesting and thanks for sharing, I think it helps all of us understand our women better.

We have been married for 55 years, in our early years my wife did not cum at all, she was honest about it, but I could never figure it out. She claims she had never masturbated before or after marriage, then two things happened that changed everything.

My wife's mother always accused her of having sex in high school when she wasn't, but it left a scare on her. My wife was inexperienced when we married, she 21, me 23, so I had to "train her." (for you young guys, that's the way it used to be) She never refused to have sex with me, she said she always enjoyed it even though she didn't cum. Then the first event happened, and her mother passed, this I believe had a subconscious liberation for her because her attitude toward sex really changed. The second event was we had a brief separation and during that brief time she told me she masturbated for the first time in her life. (I find that hard to believe, but I think she was being honest) After those two events, happening very close together, she changed completely and began to cum every time we had sex. In that aspect, I think women have to learn how to cum on their own, I don't think she had known how to cum. I know in a lot of women's self-help sex books they say for the women to learn their bodies and to learn to masturbate.

As we aged sex became more routine, loss of flexibility and hip problems for my wife, but way more pleasurable, we begin with mutual masturbation with lots of silicone lube and that is continuous until she has an earth shaking, long orgasm, sometimes on her clit and other times inside. I prefer to keep it focused on the clit because I want it to feel different when enter her. When I enter her she holds back her orgasm until I cum then we cum together. I know she can control it because I can feel her clinch down as my excitement builds and she knows when I am ready to cum, I am sure it is a Kegel type of clinching, but it works for her every time. On a few occasions when she is really turned on she "slips" and has one before I cum, but then she always joins me when I cum, though this is rare.

She has always said having orgasms are not important to her, but she admits liking them a lot when she does. She explains it by saying, "I don't have balls and a hard on that has to be satisfied," I think she is probably correct.

She had always given me head, usually while she recovers from her first orgasm, she says it excites her and she likes for me to cum in her mouth. I limit that because our favorite is cumming together, sometimes we accomplish that by me rubbing her clit as she goes down on me and then if that happens, we usually cum at the same time. That is OK once in a while because I still love cumming in her pussy.

My frustration continues to be that she does not like me to go down on her. I am pretty sure it is because she never feels she is clean enough, if I am fortunate to go down on her she won't kiss me for the duration. She does not like her smell on my dick or my lips! If I could change anything it would be that she accepts and even demands oral sex. We both enjoy me shaving her and if I am going to get oral, it is after I have shaved her and she washes up.

I realize what a great sex partner I have in her and it is another reason I love her so much.
Used Viagra & Cialis until lost vision in one eye due to AION, therefore can never use pills again, then tri-mix 1 1/2 years until unreliable. Implanted 9/20/22 at 77 years old by Dr. Yafi, UC Irvine. Married 55 years wife 76. 20cm Coloplast Titan.

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Happy Toy
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby Happy Toy » Fri Oct 07, 2022 7:42 pm

AmansinCali wrote:This is all very interesting and thanks for sharing, I think it helps all of us understand our women better.

We have been married for 55 years, in our early years my wife did not cum at all, she was honest about it, but I could never figure it out. She claims she had never masturbated before or after marriage, then two things happened that changed everything.

My wife's mother always accused her of having sex in high school when she wasn't, but it left a scare on her. My wife was inexperienced when we married, she 21, me 23, so I had to "train her." (for you young guys, that's the way it used to be) She never refused to have sex with me, she said she always enjoyed it even though she didn't cum. Then the first event happened, and her mother passed, this I believe had a subconscious liberation for her because her attitude toward sex really changed. The second event was we had a brief separation and during that brief time she told me she masturbated for the first time in her life. (I find that hard to believe, but I think she was being honest) After those two events, happening very close together, she changed completely and began to cum every time we had sex. In that aspect, I think women have to learn how to cum on their own, I don't think she had known how to cum. I know in a lot of women's self-help sex books they say for the women to learn their bodies and to learn to masturbate.

As we aged sex became more routine, loss of flexibility and hip problems for my wife, but way more pleasurable, we begin with mutual masturbation with lots of silicone lube and that is continuous until she has an earth shaking, long orgasm, sometimes on her clit and other times inside. I prefer to keep it focused on the clit because I want it to feel different when enter her. When I enter her she holds back her orgasm until I cum then we cum together. I know she can control it because I can feel her clinch down as my excitement builds and she knows when I am ready to cum, I am sure it is a Kegel type of clinching, but it works for her every time. On a few occasions when she is really turned on she "slips" and has one before I cum, but then she always joins me when I cum, though this is rare.

She has always said having orgasms are not important to her, but she admits liking them a lot when she does. She explains it by saying, "I don't have balls and a hard on that has to be satisfied," I think she is probably correct.

She had always given me head, usually while she recovers from her first orgasm, she says it excites her and she likes for me to cum in her mouth. I limit that because our favorite is cumming together, sometimes we accomplish that by me rubbing her clit as she goes down on me and then if that happens, we usually cum at the same time. That is OK once in a while because I still love cumming in her pussy.

My frustration continues to be that she does not like me to go down on her. I am pretty sure it is because she never feels she is clean enough, if I am fortunate to go down on her she won't kiss me for the duration. She does not like her smell on my dick or my lips! If I could change anything it would be that she accepts and even demands oral sex. We both enjoy me shaving her and if I am going to get oral, it is after I have shaved her and she washes up.

I realize what a great sex partner I have in her and it is another reason I love her so much.


You are a lucky man for sure! My wife likes sex but hates oral which I REALLY miss. I don't think I have ever made her cum through intercourse, and now I seldom cum with intercourse, so we have intercourse for 5 min. or so then I use a vibrator on her until she cums, works 99% of the time, then she gives me a hand job or uses the vibrator on me til I cum. It all works for us but the sex is always the same and is not as exciting as it was when we were younger, and as I said, NO oral! But I'm happy for what we do have and would never try to force oral on her. If you would like to chat PM me.
Implanted 6/26/2018, Coloplast Titan 20cm, no RTE'S, infra pubic, Dr. Rhee, Kaiser :o 8-) 80 yrs., married 57 yrs. ED for over 20 yrs.

AnotherOldMan
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby AnotherOldMan » Sat Oct 08, 2022 6:10 am

Almost every time we have sex. Sometimes multiple but always at least once. Wasn't always this easy for her but over the years we have worked out ways that make it much easier for her.
Married 50+ years. Use VED for sex and do
daily exercises with both water and vacuum pumps.

sogwap
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby sogwap » Sat Oct 08, 2022 12:22 pm

...I forgot I already responded! See earlier post,
Last edited by sogwap on Sat Oct 08, 2022 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Age: 68. Struggled with ED/PE for years.
Used Viagra for 10+ years with mixed success.
In May 2022 started using Trimix with very good results.
Feb 2023 developed PD
2023 still in treatment for PD, and still using Trimix with very good results

Alan810
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby Alan810 » Sat Oct 08, 2022 2:37 pm

At our ages, 81 & 83, position and body changes make intercourse and penetration a bit more difficult. Me and my Ed, although solved with a VED and 2 rings and her with cramping, mobility and some discomfort and pain are work arounds. Forty something years ago sex was terrific, although she did not orgasm all the time and it was anything but routine. She was into anytime, anywhere, oral, role playing, and almost anything. Her erogenous zones were super sensitive. Unfortunately, it’s no longer that way. Now it’s very routine almost mechanical. She orgasms easily every time whether it’s by oral or by penetration along with the help of a vibrator. Her erogenous zone sensitivity no longer exists. As soon as she has her orgasm, there is now more touching her – one and done. I finish myself manually (Anogasmia) with a little assistance from her. I guess at our ages that’s the best I can expect from her. Compared to other’s stories on Frank Talk I should consider myself very fortunate...
85 yrs old. Married 42 yrs. On meds for B/P, Cholesterol and BPH. Greenlight procedure yrs ago. 30 yrs ED w/Retrograde Ejaculations. Tried Pills, Injections & different pumps. Excellent results with ErecAId pump & Beige D & Gray D rings.

CanGetItUpButNoMore
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby CanGetItUpButNoMore » Mon Nov 07, 2022 7:28 am

I'm the OP, back with a slightly different question. There is a lot in the popular culture and posts here in FT that speak to women liking their men to stay hard for long periods of time and delay cumming for as long as possible. This would presume that women take longer and are frequently frustrated by their partners cumming too quickly and leaving them unsatisfied. Our experience is the opposite.

My wife always encourages me to cum as quickly as possible. If she gets her orgasm along the way (which I reported in my OP as happening about 70% of the time), then she is happy but seems just as content if I finish early and she misses out. I sincerely believe she would be opposed to my doing anything or taking anything that prolonged my own orgasm.

This leads to our routine where I manually stimulate her then enter her while immediately rubbing her clit to get her off as quickly as possible because I know there isn't much time before she wants me to cum. I'm curious if others have this "problem".
68yo. Diabetes & hypertension drugs but none that are infamous for ED causation. Increasing ED compounded by frequent anorgasmia. Viagra for 2 years. Cabergoline experimentation inconclusive. New to pumping (Encore). Supportive (to a limit) wife.

Old Guy
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby Old Guy » Mon Nov 07, 2022 9:07 am

CanGetItUpButNoMore wrote:My wife always encourages me to cum as quickly as possible. If she gets her orgasm along the way (which I reported in my OP as happening about 70% of the time), then she is happy but seems just as content if I finish early and she misses out. I sincerely believe she would be opposed to my doing anything or taking anything that prolonged my own orgasm.
This leads to our routine where I manually stimulate her then enter her while immediately rubbing her clit to get her off as quickly as possible because I know there isn't much time before she wants me to cum. I'm curious if others have this "problem".


Cum as quick as possible? That would ruin all the fun for me. No better feeling than just before an orgasm, if you can hold it off a few times that makes for one powerful orgasm.
We usually start with some touching. I can get the wife off at least once with my fingers. She strokes me close to the breaking point, then stops. Sometimes I get her off with oral before intercourse. During intercourse I can make her cum once or twice before I'm ready. When I get close to cumming and my head engorges it makes her orgasm which makes me go off. She has always been able to orgasm during sex, and my focus has always been to get her off as many times as I can. I love to watch her face as she hits the big O.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

CanGetItUpButNoMore
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Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2021 8:27 pm

Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby CanGetItUpButNoMore » Tue Nov 08, 2022 7:34 am

Old Guy wrote:No better feeling than just before an orgasm, if you can hold it off a few times that makes for one powerful orgasm.

In this regard, I admit that I am part of the problem in our routine. I frequently have a strange combination of ED and delayed ejaculation. It's hard to describe. Once I get hard, sometimes unaided but usually via Viagra, I have a limited time to get off. After pounding for a few minutes, I can ejaculate; but if I let the moment pass, the delayed ejaculation sets in and I may stay hard but cannot cum. Mentally, once this occurred a couple of times, I am paranoid and now do what I can to avoid it which usually means I cum before it is too late.

And as I have posted before, my wife is thoroughly fine with this outcome. And I am certain it is not just her protecting my ego. (One time - and just once - she was disappointed and let me go down on her and she orgasmed from oral and FIV. I hoped that would open the door to more exploration of her orgasm, but, alas, no.)
68yo. Diabetes & hypertension drugs but none that are infamous for ED causation. Increasing ED compounded by frequent anorgasmia. Viagra for 2 years. Cabergoline experimentation inconclusive. New to pumping (Encore). Supportive (to a limit) wife.


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